Explaining the therapeutic relationship with those who have never been in therapy

Lol!

Great analogy!

I finally have what feels to me like the perfect therapy situation. I have a wonderful psychologist who talks through everything with me in my completely logical manor even when my emotions have me in tears. I see her every other week except when she needs to be away longer & I have my weekly DBT group that is really the best therapy experience I have ever had.

Everyone in our group has been a professional at one time in our life or in law school or some professional level & our DBT group seems to be handled at that level between us all. We have ended up being our very best support network even between DBT group sessions. It's the most unusual intellectual experience I have gone through after being away from my engineering career when we always talked through the problems we had at work in the same logical sort of way.

The DBT group is sort of like school in a very practical way where we are all learning what the terms mean in our real life experiences....we don't just let them throw the thoughts out there without giving practical experiences or trying to relate them ourselves to our own practical experiences & having our own T help us apply the DBT to our more intimate issues that we don't bring up in group is the most useful therapy I have ever experienced.

My initial therapy back in 1994 I don't even remember much of....but then my mind doesn't remember much of that period. I remember going through 4-5 therapist the first 2 years of therapy.....then I went to one psychologist when I was really messed up & suicidal for years & kept landing in the hospital because I was never in a good place during therapy. Because of all the suicide attempts, I lost the pdoc I was going to (it made sense not to see him any longer at that point)....but finding a new pdoc was next to impossible until I was assigned one on one of my hospital stays & after our initial disagreement, I found out that he was the best pdoc I could have had because he was into alternate treatments given all the bad side effects I had to meds. He got the psychologist in his practice to talk with me when my husband was abusing me at one point & I stuck with that psychologist for almost 10 years. Why, I guess because they were in the same practice....but the therapy was nothing but my talking without any input from him about much of anything. Looking back it was probably a huge waste of time & money, but I needed some outlet & it was better than nothing.

Amazing how when you find a really good psychologist & DBT group how bad the previous ends up looking.....I knew it wasn't great, but I didn't realize just how little was accomplished until now. I have accomplished more in the last 2 years of infrequent sessions than I did with 10 years of weekly sessions with someone who just "let me talk".

My therapeutic relationship with any of my psychologists has been nothing but professional just as all my engineering relationships were. Have always felt safer with relationships at that level. I realize that I keep every relationship at a certain distance even with my closest friends.....it's where I feel safe & in control & keeps inappropriate emotions out of the picture.....given that, my therapeutic relationship isn't anything that anyone couldn't understand.

It was a very strange feeling one therapist I went to expressed that the symptoms I was experiencing were far beyond her capability. It was at the point I thought I was starting to do better but it also validated the fact that I knew I was going through some serious issues after the trauma I experienced when my mother was dying of cancer & it also validated my ability to express the difficult things I was going through.

Just thankful that I finally found the professional group that fits my needs & my personality & where I have been able to accomplish as much as I have been able to intellectually work through my emotional issues without anything getting in the way or distracting the process.

LOL My T would have said colonoscoPHy because he always pronounces it wrong, but which also implies perhaps unfortunate knowledge...