[jaxter23]

My T keeps talking about positive self-care and how nothing will change until you learn positive self-care techniques. Does anyone have a good explanation of what positive self-care is exactly or any good ideas for techniques? I guess when I think about it, its more than just eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep. I guess maybe its just stuff that makes you happy? I'm not really sure and I was wondering if anyone else had some good ideas or advice

[critterlady]

It's going to be different things for everyone, but, in addition to eating right, exercise and sleeping well, my old T described it as those things that make you lose time. The kind of thing where you start and then don't realize that an hour has passed. He was really, really big on self-care.

Some of my favorites:

• Spending time with a really good friend or a small group of them
• meditating
• working with animals

[WePow]

For us, it looks like respect. Showing respect to the mind, body, and spirit.
It is learning how to take care of the whole me with as much compassion as I would take care of a child or an elderly person. Sometimes it is easy to be cruel to ourselves because we think "it is only me." When we step outside of ourselves and say "Would I do that or say that to a little child?", we have a different perspective. And that teaches us how to learn positive self-care.

Eating right, excercising, meditation, using self sooth techniques-take a bubble bath, light a candle, try to get enough sleep, watch your favorite movie-just basically any little thing you can do to take care of yourself.

[Elli-Beth]

Mine are any silly little things that help me feel better without hurting. So taking warm showers with good smelling shower gel, playing with the dog, etc.

I sometimes color as well-and that's very soothing.

[sunrise]

Different things are going to help different people. What sounds like it will be "a break" from stress to you? I went to a T for a while who would tell me I should take a bubble bath. WTF? I wanted to work on my problems, not take bubble baths, so this was a no go for me. But to other people, a bubble bath might sound good. I felt stress recede when I worked on my problems and made progress. So not just sitting there but instead doing something was self-care for me. The other thing that really helped me was working very concertedly to get more sleep. A big battle, but it is worth it. My mind really wasn't working well without enough sleep. You will know the things that work for you...

I think the reason your T doesn't define self care for you is that it is not the same for everyone. If she tells you to take a bubble bath, and that is not something that helps you, then it is just a dumb suggestion and makes the client feel like the T is clueless. So to find what self care is, seek the direction of less stress.

Good luck.

[sittingatwatersedge]

something I picked up in the WWW and archived, sorry I cannot give the link. about the mirror work, T1 used to say it was really bogus, I haven't tried it. maybe something in here will be useful

STOP ALL CRITICISM. Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

DON'T SCARE YOURSELF. Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It's a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure (mine is yellow roses), and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

BE GENTLE AND KIND AND PATIENT. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

BE KIND TO YOUR MIND. Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don't hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

PRAISE YOURSELF. Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

SUPPORT YOURSELF. Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

BE LOVING TO YOUR NEGATIVES. Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY. Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise can you enjoy? Cherish and revere this temple you live in.

MIRROR WORK. Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents looking into the mirror. Forgive them too. At least once a day say: "I love you, I really love you!"

LOVE YOURSELF... DO IT NOW. Don't wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or the new relationship. Begin now - and do the best you can.