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#1
Mar 10, 2012, 03:06 AM
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I have not been myself in quite a while... August of 2011 I came fallin hard from an all time amazing high.. the depression worsened over the next few months and in November... week after thanks giving, I decided I was finished, I put my kids to bed, kissed them good night.. . No tears, no more sadness, no stress, and no more hurting my family. Finally I was gonna be at peace, Something I have never experienced, My Bipolar has been with me as far back as I can remember...... I dont remeber anymore of that night or the next 5 days.. WHY did she have to show up.. why did I open the door for her?? now here I set, alone. No family, No freinds, No meds, No kids, No happiness, No highs, No lows, No emotions, No hate, No love. Day in and day out, I ask myself what Im doing? I dont leave the house, my kids dont come home anymore, Im pretty much useless, I have no reason. Everyone is gone and Im still here. Life is passing me by. This unfamiliar feeling, I dont think I know it. I dont sleep, I dont eat, I dont laugh, I dont cry, I am just here. Why did she show up that night? I could be at peace. . .
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 Anonymous33425, Nelliecat, Perna
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#2
Mar 10, 2012, 09:23 AM
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Quote:
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Mar 10, 2012, 04:27 PM
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Your mood icon says you feel daring. Does that mean you've got some feeling back?
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Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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#4
Mar 11, 2012, 04:59 AM
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I did... For less than a day.. I was alive n I had so many ideas.. places to go.. things to do.. but I couldn't... I was scared, I'm not sure of what..then I got depressed and I cried, feelin more alone, powerless, and out of control than ever.. short tempered and angry, disappointed... In 24 hrs I felt it all.. and now I'm still alone n back to numbness. I wish I woulda left.. I don't think I woulda come back.. I'm exhausted...
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#5
Mar 12, 2012, 10:51 PM
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Quote:
 ((lbrown1))
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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