Holidays cause triggers

I know this was a big topic at Christmas but a big holiday for my family is St Patrick's Day. I will be expected to go see my parents tomorrow. I haven't seen them since Christmas and have only talked to them once since then. It is so hard... the CA happened over 30 years ago and until I started therapy 1 year ago I took my kids to my parents every sunday night for 14 years...but now that all the feelings from the CA has been opened up like a can of worms I can't seem to do it... so its like every holiday is tainted...

anyone else experience this with holidays... how do you are deal with your FOO?

I am the queen of excuses about why I can't go. I used to go but no T is helping me with boundaries.

Take something(s) with you to help you stay grounded in the present. You are not normally with your family of origin now, nor are you a child anymore. Can you take a friend with you; someone you did not know until you were an adult and who will be "jarring" to your memories, sights, sounds, smells of childhood? Can you bring a non-holiday food, maybe something your kids like (if they're going with you). Bring a "spoiler" of some kind, my husband hates the smell of cabbage cooking and would not be hesitant in wanting out of the house if it smelled of cabbage and would not be shy about saying so