that just makes you feel BETTER?

I'm just being nosey. And I like hearing about other people's Ts.

Besides the sorta obvious things like when my T says "I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to leave you" I also like it when my T is pretty direct. If I'm freaking out and she says something like, "Get your act together! Right NOW."-- for some reason, that helps. It grounds me.

[stopdog]

I promise I won't touch you.

[rainboots87]

Well, recently she told me "I know it feels real, but that doesn't mean it is real." This was in response to me admitting some of the awful, horrible things I think about myself. It was really comforting to hear that as real as it feels sometimes, it doesn't have to actually be true. She says tons of things that I find comforting, but that's the most recent. Also, it's not something specific, but she has this amazing ability to ALWAYS make me smile. Seriously, no matter how difficult or intense the topic, even if I'm shutting down or crying and shaking, she can say something to get a grin out of me. I my T!

[growlycat]

"I want my caring for you to be like the refrigerator running--you know it is there, it runs in the background and you may even take it for granted, but it is just there"

Originally Posted by SarahMichelle

I'm just being nosey. And I like hearing about other people's Ts.

Hah, no worries. I also love hearing about others' Ts! I'm so curious.

In answer to the question...
I can only recall once when she outright said something overtly comforting.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not going to leave you."

I had curled up into a rigid, frightened ball. She made me stand up, and took my hands, and tried to make me move. I was shocked at her warmth. I wish she would say things like that more often. Just the way she treats me in general is very comforting, but direct words can mean a lot.

Nothing verbal came to mind when I read this, only a visualisation of her, that felt enough. Words sometimes can feel to bulky.

[CantExplain]

I think the most surprising thing she ever said to me was, "You're a pleasure to work with." No authority figure had ever said that to me before, certainly not a boss or a parent.

I had this exchange with T-2. We were talking about sex.
T-2: Does it ever not work? [Meaning: do you ever fail to get an erection?]
Me: Sometimes, when I'm angry or tired.
T-2: What a lovely man!

I think she found my frankness refreshing - also the fact that I didn't blame my wife!

[critterlady]

I haven't been with my t for very long, but I've noticeably relaxed when he tells me he's not going anywhere and he'll stick with me as long as I need him. Yep, I have some abandonment issues.

[lostmyway21]

"My relationship has not changed since day one and will not change as I have always stated to you. That's a promise."

[healed84]

A couple of things.. His reassurance that if i need to call him in between sessions I can.. That makes me feel like I am not a lone. He has also reassured me many times, that we are going to work through my issues, and we are going to get through it. It makes me feel like he isn't going to give up on me.

[sconnie892]

The most comforting thing she's said so far are "Thank you for sharing, I know that was very difficult for you. It really helps me understand you better." Honestly the most comforting thing from my t is her eye contact. It can be very warm and comforting when I've just said something very difficult.

[BonnieJean]

in an email once she said that I had lots of people around me that care about me very much, including her. that was a 'wow/melting moment' for me, reading that.

I really can't think of anything. What comes to mind for me is his consistency of actions and support more than his words. I guess I'm kind of an actions speak louder than words kind of gal.

[elliemay]

Trigger for SI

You have a profound ability to protect yourself from yourself.

[stopdog]

Probably the best thing is the one I see finally stopped telling me she cared. It made me crazy. But she has stopped since I told her it was horrible.
And not warm and fuzzy at all, but at least one could lower the high alert to just medium high alert.
I have never felt warm and fuzzy with the therapist no matter what she did or did not say.

[Nelliecat]

I'm not sure I've had a warm, fuzzy, melty feeling from anything T has said to me but the way she looks at me sometimes makes me feel better. Warm, fuzzy eyes

[WikidPissah]

never warm fuzzies, but once he told me "no, I do not think you are disgusting" that helped a bit.

[Elli-Beth]

My T is awesome! He says "Hello". By that I mean that he takes my calls, even at 2 or 3 in the morning, when I'm in confusion or panic mode. They're short calls- just long enough to help me get back to the here and now, but they mean everything to me.

My 1st T once told me, "You're such a warrior."
I found that very comforting.

[Perna]

I liked when my T would tell me, "It's not like that" so I could stop looking in "that" direction and let something go. But mostly it was her tone of voice sometimes that would feel good.

[skysblue]

There are so many things that T says to me that make me feel better but one that stands out lately is at end of sessions she says, "Call or text me if you need to."

[Towanda]

"I care about you" "I respect you" "You're safe in here" "I'm not going to hurt you" So many other things I can't remember. Plus I always feel safe looking into his eyes.

[WePow]

My T tells me he is not going anywhere. But he had a private practive before and left it then went back to it for his own reasons. I know the fact is he can leave or something may happen. But at the start of my therapy, that would make me feel safe with him.

Now he tells me I have what it takes to thrive and not just survive. He believes in me far more than I believe in myself. So that is helping I think.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by lostmyway21

"My relationship has not changed since day one and will not change as I have always stated to you. That's a promise."

That wouldn't reassure me at all!

"Every day, in every way, our relationship is going to get better and better." That's what I would want to hear.

It's true, too.

[lostmyway21]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

That wouldn't reassure me at all!

"Every day, in every way, our relationship is going to get better and better." That's what I would want to hear.

It's true, too.

That's in response in to my abondenment issues. No matter what happens he is not going to abandon me. He is not going to hate me, he is not going to change in response to my emotional instability.