If my therapist and I switched roles for one session, I am not sure if I would be nice and sweet, or if I would be stern and firm with boundaries. Would I mimic her style, or would I create my own style and show her what I really need from her.

Would I allow her to sit close by me? Hold my hand? Hug me? Would I wipe her tears when she cried? Would I allow her to email me? Text me? Call me between sessions? Would I encourage her to look at me when she is talking? Would I make eye contact with her at all times?

How would I handle transference if she brought that up? What about erotic transference? Sexual issues? Would I be open to anything she wanted to talk about? Would anything be off limits? What if she said something that hurt my feelings? What if she came in and stared at the walls and wouldn't talk?

Therapist have to handle SO many different situations. Sometimes they don't know what they will get until we walk into a session.

What would you do if you could change roles with your therapist? What would that session look like?

[sconnie892]

Wow. This is a really interesting question. I am going to have to ponder this for awhile. I think what you've written Squiggle has really made me think about what t has to deal with - and only increased the respect I already have for her.

[nicoleb2]

Wow, this is a tough one because I would not want to have to deal with me!

Good Lord, I would NOT want to have me for a client. My therapist is endlessly patient and understanding with me. If I were the T, i wouldn't be able to be like that.
However, if I were a T who did not have me for a client... I would pretty much do what my therapist does-- be patient, understanding, comforting, give hugs, answer emails, text, comfort, etc.

[growlycat]

Hmmm...does this mean I am him and he is me...OR am I my own self, magically turned into his T???

Trying it both ways:
Scenario #1: We have switched bodies. I am essentially "being my own therapist". Manipulating his puppet strings, I would make him more playful and less stern with me. His playful moments are beautiful but rare lately. He is dealing with a declining parent.

Scenario #2: I am myself again, but magically I am a therapist. T is seeing me. I now have to put my needs aside and determine what his treatment goals are and what kind of therapy he needs. He may need me to be a more silent T so I can act as his sounding board. He will not want or need the same things I need from therapy. He will want insight, not reparenting. He can handle and even want more confrontation than I do.

Kudos squiggle! Great posts all in 2 days. BTW I scored Triangle/circle not as cool as a squiggle but never a square.

[SoupDragon]

This is a great question - not sure if I know the answer, but I am sure it has triggered a lot of thinking and learning for me - thanks Squiggle - Soup

[lostmyway21]

If my therapist and I switched roles for one session, I am not sure if I would be nice and sweet, or if I would be stern and firm with boundaries. Would I mimic her style, or would I create my own style and show her what I really need from her.

Would I allow her to sit close by me? Hold my hand? Hug me? Would I wipe her tears when she cried? Would I allow her to email me? Text me? Call me between sessions? Would I encourage her to look at me when she is talking? Would I make eye contact with her at all times?

I would maintain the same style boundaries he does. No touch. Email/calls are fine. Eye contact at all times.

How would I handle transference if she brought that up? What about erotic transference? Sexual issues? Would I be open to anything she wanted to talk about? Would anything be off limits? What if she said something that hurt my feelings? What if she came in and stared at the walls and wouldn't talk?

Um sexual issues? Nope. He's 38 I'm 21, and he took on a parental transference figure. Um awkward. If he came in and didn't talk I would torture him, like he does with me. If he hurt my feelings I would try and find out why.

What would you do if you could change roles with your therapist? What would that session look like?

It would be weird because of the age dynamic and because he is the rock in the relationship. I've never seen him vulnerable at all.

Interesting topic squiggle.

[SpiritRunner]

oh wow, hmmm. thinking about both Ts, I wonder what the difference would be, if there had been/could be a role reversal. funny thing is, when I was on the phone with T2 the other day, I sort of teased her about that (and the good ol' power differential thing) saying, it might be fun to have the power over you! that made her laugh, thinking what something like that might look like. hmmmmm I'm thinking I wouldn't be a whole lot different with her than she was with me.......the directness with humor mixed in.....
for me this question has many sides too......what would I be like as a T in general; what would I be like as T with a client like me; what would I be like as T if the Ts I had were my clients as I knew them?
for all the fussing I have done about wishing T1 would have kept hugging me, I am not so sure I would be a hugging T. but I don't think I would be a non-physical contact ever T either. I have pretty good, firm physical boundaries.....I'm not a touchy-feely person in general, but there are times with a friend or someone in emotional need that I have felt moved to offer a gentle touch, because sometimes there aren't words that can say as much as a touch. I think I would probably have pretty firm boundaries around touch as a T but also be willing to be flexible if a genuine need was there.....
And what would I do with a client like me, with such attachment issues and huge needs/desires around touch/affection/comfort.......oh me oh my, I think I would be VERY careful........to not get way too emotionally drawn into trying to fill the need but yet find loving ways to show nurturing and establish/maintain a healthy, secure, healing attachment. Consistent, definite boundaries with no abrupt changes and LOTS of openness and transparency.......

[stopdog]

Me/t -there there
t/me- indeed
Me/t - that will be $

[Perna]

I don't take the boundaries personally; they're like the room itself, just there to provide space for T and I to work together. If I were T, I'd have a harder time listening and paying attention, being as curious and non-judgmental about what makes her tick instead of thinking about my own interests and concerns. I guess I'd try to make it like reading a good book, where you have to keep reading and are "with" the characters as the story progresses, even when they are "safe" and resting after being attacked by the bad guys :-)

[skysblue]

Imagining role reversal doesn't interest me. I want my T to be my T. I like our relationship the way it is.

[ClementineK]

Oh, this is a fun topic LOL.

Me as Dr. L: "Now I'm going to take complete advantage of this role reversal, and I get to ask you exactly how YOU feel and what you think about ME, and you don't get to ask me why or be endlessly vague."

Dr. L the patient: *insert vague answer here*

Me as Dr. L: "Oh no you don't!"

[northgirl]

wow this is a good one...

I would probably be much less forgiving than my T. I would want my client to think harder, come up with answers quickly, not sit there in silence, like I almost always do. If my T was sitting across from me on the couch, I would not let him stare out the window like I do, come up with vague "i don't know" answers all the time, in other words, I would be a horrible T. Makes me want to be a better client the more I think about what he has to deal with, lol

I imagine our session to be about the same, as I'd hope to take the same approach she does (though admittedly it would likely be a poor imitation) - but mostly it'd just be kinda cool to be the one asking the questions.. her answers would be SO interesting, I just know it

[unaluna]

I'd be the pretty one in the room for once! Actually I ask T stuff quite a lot, to try to get a normal human perspective.

Squiggle, I've only been here for a little bit, but I can tell you ask the best questions.

This question is fantastic. The premise would make a dynamite book or film. I've even thought about it before because I'm often getting caught up in bizarre plots in my own little world. Doesn't matter that I wouldn't want this to happen, it's just fun to use the imagination.

I'm going to interpret the scenario as we both keep our own bodies, but I'm sure our ages would have to reverse or equalize (I'm in my twenties, she's in her fifties). Maybe we're both 35, here. I also interpreted the prompt to mean that the roles have been reversed since the onset of therapy, rather than having it just miraculously happen one day, Freaky Friday style.

I would probably have a much more affectionate style than she does, because I am a terribly affectionate (and I mean terribly. I rarely show it but it's like this debilitating, blazing furnace inside me with people I really love) person and she is not. I would definitely have to curb it, somewhat. I would, however, try to preserve the bits of her style that I find valuable. You point out some great guiding questions (prepare for TLDR):

Would I allow her to sit close by me? Perhaps. I think I would generally maintain distance of at least four feet, having her sit on a couch and me in a chair, but I would sit next to her if showing her something important.
Hold my hand? Definitely, if she wanted to. Which, judging by her generally reserved and logical demeanor, I doubt would happen.
Hug me? Yes, on occasion.
Would I wipe her tears when she cried? I don't think so. Not that I think it violates boundaries or is odd, but I know if she ever tried to wipe my tears away while I was crying, as a patient, I would freak out. I always hide my face when I cry; I don't want anyone to touch or look at me when it happens. And I have a hunch she wouldn't invite this. If she seemed especially distraught and shattered, I might ask if I could hug her, or hand her a tissue.
Would I allow her to email me? Yes, but I wouldn't respond in length to emails so long as to constitute their own actual session.
Text me? My T doesn't have her patients text her (she only gives out the number to her office phone), so the concept seems alien and overboard to me even though I realize many Ts do let their patients text them. I think I would stick to the office phone.
Call me between sessions? Only in emergencies. This is her policy, as well.
Would I encourage her to look at me when she is talking? No. She can look wherever she wants.
Would I make eye contact with her at all times? Not so much as to make someone feel pressured or uncomfortable. Do therapists out there actually try to do this? At all times?
How would I handle transference if she brought that up? I would try to help her explore the feelings as far as possible. I think that the way you help people cope and explore feelings depends, to an extent, on that person's temperament. I find that sensitive, emotional people want to be able to focus on the other person and connect to a gentle voice. Traditional, pragmatic people want to focus on the role and authority of the therapist. The more cerebral folks do well when you help them understand the workings of what is happening. She is highly intellectual and rational, so I would explain some dynamics to her after helping her explore the feelings, being careful to never tell her outright what she herself is feeling (that's her job to figure out).
What about erotic transference? I would explain that love naturally arises because of the intimacy of psychotherapy, but that there are boundaries necessary to keeping the love at its purest and most healing. I would also explain my ethical duty as the therapist. I already struggle with this as a patient, so I actually sort of anticipate disaster if she were to reciprocate. Terrible.
Sexual issues? I think with sexual issues it's important to maintain a nonreactive, neutral tone that neither praises nor condemns: their sexuality just is, and it's simply important that they don't hurt themselves or others according to the value systems of those involved. Obviously, if she were taken advantage of, it would be time to display compassion for her and anger at the perpetrator. I've never talked with my T about sex, so I actually have no template to work off of, here...
Would I be open to anything she wanted to talk about? Absolutely, unless she were asking personal questions about me, in which case I would have to turn the question back towards something that pertains to her.
Would anything be off limits? Calling me at home. Romance, obviously. Meeting outside the office except in perhaps the strangest of circumstances (not even sure what those would be).
What if she said something that hurt my feelings? I think as a therapist it's actually important to be able to remain unfazed in the face of insults, because it's valuable to recognize and handle negative transference. Furthermore, I wouldn't want her to have to edit herself on my behalf unnecessarily.
What if she came in and stared at the walls and wouldn't talk? I would remain silent as well until she spoke. The silence could stretch for minutes. If it got to be like five minutes or more, I might ask her "what's going on?" Sometimes I remain quiet for stretches of time, and my T never interrupts it. This is because she can see cogs turning, though, and she knows I'm formulating thoughts to speak out loud in a number of minutes. I might ask her if she needs help talking, in which case I would do that.

All of that really does make you realize how rigorous and complicated the training must be for a therapist.
As things are now, with me as a patient and her as a therapist, she's cool and taciturn, and sometimes I'm the one to make her laugh or bring her out of her shell throughout the dialogue. Once I did a playful but mocking imitation of her and I've never seen her laugh so hard. I have a feeling this would still be the case if she were the patient, and I would just have more power to do so.

Also that office would undergo some radical redecoration.

[Chopin99]

I would make certain boundaries were straightforward and easy to understand:

I would allow email if it was a short, straightforward question, giving information for the next session, or requesting an appointment change. I would let the client know ahead of time that I would let them know if they were emailing inappropriately.
Physical touch would be okay if I thought it was beneficial or therapeutic to do so.
I would accept small, meaningful gifts (something hand/homemade, cards, etc).
I would loan someone a book or video if I believed they would return it.
I would have a sliding scale and expect prompt payment (but would probably make exceptions if someone was in a real bind).
I would only go over the allotted time if the client was distressed, but would try to wrap up the session a couple of minutes prior to ending (any questions, summarize, give homework).
I would use a lot of interviewing in the beginning trying to learn the person and find out what goals the client has before deciding on a modality of treatment.
I would encourage the use of whatever aids helps the client in therapy; stuffed animals, blankets, writing, drawing, reading, music, etc.
I would ensure the client is comfortable with the seating arrangement and allow them to sit wherever they wish and decide where I sit based on where they want me to be.

I believe being a therapist is a rather difficult job that requires a great deal of flexibility, empathy, and acceptance of all people. I still consider going back to school to do it myself on occasion once my own issues are worked out.

[Velvet Cactus]

Originally Posted by stopdog

Me/t -there there
t/me- indeed
Me/t - that will be $

You are hilarious!!!

I want to put this to the test. When I go in for my appointment next Thursday, I am just going to sit in her chair and ask her how she is feeling. I'll let you know the outcome.

[Velvet Cactus]

[quote=TryinToGetBy;2278850]I want to put this to the test. When I go in for my appointment next Thursday, I am just going to sit in her chair and ask her how she is feeling. I'll let you know the outcome. [/quote

Can't wait to see how that goes over! I think I am going to send mine the agenda for our meeting.

Originally Posted by TryinToGetBy

I want to put this to the test. When I go in for my appointment next Thursday, I am just going to sit in her chair and ask her how she is feeling. I'll let you know the outcome.

Haha, I don't think I would dare sit in my T's chair!

I guess I'll know very soon after I do it, if Sitting in her chair is something I should NEVER do again. Lol

[CantExplain]

I think I'd start with sage and silent.

[ColourBars]

Originally Posted by TryinToGetBy

I want to put this to the test. When I go in for my appointment next Thursday, I am just going to sit in her chair and ask her how she is feeling. I'll let you know the outcome.

I can't wait to read what happens! (Stealing growlycat's thingy)

Scenario #1: We have switched bodies. I am essentially "being my own therapist".
Look at my "therapist's" body which I just transferred to. First thought will probably be.... "WHoa!! I'm TALL!!!!" and then I'll look at my real body, "Damn... I'm friggan short." Probably. It would be interesting seeing his own personal mannerisms acted through my body. I'll also see what kinda facial expressions I make. Probably derpy ones.

I'd probably be nice but straightforward. Pretty awkward since I'll be in a body totally different from my own, I use my hands to talk a lot. With the extra arm length I might whack stuff all around me in the tiny office. And it would be hard to sit cross legged with giant legs in tiny chairs.

Scenario #2: I am myself again, but magically I am a therapist. T is seeing me.
I guess I would do what any therapist does. Try to get comfortable with them, figure out what they need and try to help them out based off of that. I didn't go through a kajillion years of psychiatry school though so I would mostly be talking out of my *** trying to help him out. It would be weird to see him.... vulnerable though?

[northgirl]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Haha, I don't think I would dare sit in my T's chair!

Haha, my 2nd session after intake my T redecorated, moved the couch where T's chairs used to be, but I was used to sitting in front of the window. Walked right in, plopped down in the chair in front of the window, not even thinking. Should've seen T's face!!! It was hilarious I said "I'm supposed to sit on the couch, right?" lmbo