Feeling so screwed up today

Ugh I hate this. Been feeling really good lately, have been figuring out things and really starting to grow and change through work with T and now this morning I feel like it's all fallen apart at my feet and I want to curl up in a ball and just cry. So my house has gotten a little overrun by paper and general clutter and hubby blew a gasket this morning and as usual puts it ALL on me and I just get so mad but I can't express that anger and say what is true that it's not ALL my fault, there are other members in this family why does it always have to come down to you yelling at me for it all, but no I can't stand up for myself I just start crying and working frantically to clean it all up. I feel like going outside and yelling a bunch of curse words at the top of my lungs. I feel so screwed up right now. Like I am nothing but a disappointment to everyone. I hate this so much. I want to talk to T but I can't. Well I guess I'll stop now before he comes in here and sees me typing instead of cleaning. Bah humbug.

Perhaps you SHOULD yell? It feels like you have a whole lot that needs to be said.
It is never right for a person to treat another human with disrespect. It is abuse. You deserve better than that. And it is OK to say as much.

Dang, I feel like yelling and cursing at your husband for you. F him! If he doesn't like the clutter, he has two hands and two legs!

Yes indeed.