The psychotherapist I am seeing has me working on two main areas at the moment: using CBT to tackle my negative automatic thoughts as they occur and not taking responsibility for other people's feelings. It feels like I have had a real breakthrough in the last couple of days and have actually managed to do both of these several times, and it feels really good. I know it might not last, but I am so pleased to have managed it!

[kimmydawn]

oh (((((((((((((caroline))))))))))))))))

thats AWESOME!!!!

thank you so much for sharing!

kd

[Junerain]

I also learna quite a bit from the CBT's I tend to see things in black and white...what a relief to learn there's gray!!

[bipolar_bear]

I am so happy that of your accomplishment and that it felt good to you. Now you know you can do it even if it is not consistently right now.

[pegasus]

I'm really pleased for you Caroline.

Therapist's are GREAT!

Hugs to you>>>>>>>>>>

((((((((((((((( Caroline ))))))))))))))))

[Mystry]

Cool Caroline...you go girl...

Yeah, it is, isn't it? You know, more than most, how big a step that is for me.

Thanks KD.

I so agree, Junerain.
Thanks.

Thanks, bipolar_bear. Yes, hanging on to that accomplishment when things get tough will be the next step.

Thanks, pegasus.

It's taken me SUCH hard work to get access to a therapist - it's great to see that the pain was worth it.

Thanks, mystry.

[dottie]

That's wonderful!! Congrats!!

Thanks, dottie.

so glad to hear about your success!!!

[brianm101]

Sometimes the simplest accomplishments are the hardest to accomplish. Way to go Caroline.

[January]

Hurrah for you, Caroline!!!

Hugs,

Jan

Thanks butterflylady.

Thanks, brian. This one has been a long time coming, and is the first step in (I hope) deeper healing.

Thanks, Jan - for both the congrats and the hugs.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((Caroline)))))))))))))

you'll learn that this is just the beginning. i think you're alot like me in the realm that when something finally "clicks" and makes that connection inside, it stays. there were the few times that i'd slip back if in a pretty bad situation, and i could find myself right back to the old ways, but once it was pointed out or i recognized, i could turn it back around really quickly.

also, implicating this skills in your life today will teach your mind that nothing horrific such as the sky falling will happen when you assert. it's a re-training of sorts.

this is MAJOR. i want you to know that i recognize it as such. this is the beginning of an incredible journey for you. getting the actions and situations of today stabalized as you are is going to be key in going back to "yesterday". the skills you're learning are key and i'm very proud of you.

kd

[January]

You are most, most welcome Caroline and here's an extra hug just because.

((((((((((((((((( Caroline )))))))))))))))))))))))

Hugs,

Jan

[kimmydawn]

lol! i shouldn't use big words! implicating=implementing.

kd

Thank you kimmy. It helps so much to know you appreciate how big a deal this is for me. I'm hoping that I can maintain this; losing it is my fear. I have had so many episodes of depression and I have done the CBT before, but this time it really is becoming automatic. The problem is when the chemical imbalances happen making sure I keep my thinking straight, and at the moment I do doubt my ability to do this. HOwever, my hope is that my T will help me find a way to change at the deeper levels. He has spoken of "Schema therapy" and I am really hoping that this will, as it suggests, help me to change my deeper beliefs about myself so I will not slip back so readily in future.
I haven't "done" the asserting in any confrontational situations yet. That challenge is yet to come...
Nonetheless, I am hopeful, and I'm looking forward to talking all this over with my T on Thursday. Your vote of confidence in me means a lot.