I wanted to thank all of you who keep encouraging me to talk to my therapist about the crappy stuff in my childhood. I know intellectually that the shame and disgust are not MINE, but it sure feels like I am the one who is shameful and disgusting. I did talk to my T today about both the current stuff and the ancient stuff. I told him one of the things that I am horrified by about myself, and he did not seem horrified. However, I did not give him a chance to really comment on it; I just kept talking. He did reassure me at the end that he does not think I'm disgusting. Said it several times in fact. So.

I do feel somewhat relieved, though still pretty anxious about having "told." I feel lighter somehow, like I can breath a little easier.

Thanks again for all of the support. For those of you struggling to tell, your therapist CAN help with both telling and the aftermath.

[critterlady]

That's awesome, MKAC. I'm really happy for you.

Telling is so hard. I've told some things, but not the big stuff yet. It's such a scary prospect.

[growlycat]

A T long ago told me that we expend a lot of energy holding back traumatic events. Glad to read you are feeling lighter now!!

MKAC, I'm happy for you that your session went well and that you were so brave to continue sharing... You should be very proud of yourself. I hope you will remember to look back and read your post if ever your mind tries to tell you a different story in a few days...