[ColourBars]

Is it weird to have a T younger than you? Like, talking to someone about your problems and stuff to someone who has less "life experience" per say?

[stopdog]

I have never done it, but there are those who do not seem to mind and seem to have the ability to work with a younger therapist without it being a total disaster.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by ColourBars

Is it weird to have a T younger than you?

It hasn't happened to me yet, but if my T retires and I get another, it will be almost inevitable. By then I hope to be mature enough to cope with it.

Right now I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but it doesn't seem to bother some people at all. You really just have to know what your needs are. The fact that my T and I both have experience with marriage, being the parents of several children who are well beyond infancy, have aging parents, etc. are huge factors at this time of life, and knowing he has actually lived these issues rather than just reading about for some class he took is important to me. But again, that's not necessarily a deciding factor for everyone. So individual.

[shoez]

Its hard to have a T younger than me since im pretty young, but I can imagine that it would make me feel uncomfortable ...but my T is old enough to be my mom.

[critterlady]

My first T was about 15 years younger than me (I'm 53). It was fine. I don't think I would be comfortable with someone in their 20s though.

Since he didn't share much, I didn't find out what kind of life experiences he had until we were well into our work together.

My current T is a few years older than I am. I like that he gets my 60s references.

[Serotonin]

I recently seen a dentist who was younger than me, but I wasn't foolish enough to tell him my life story, so all went well.

[KazzaX]

Originally Posted by ColourBars

Is it weird to have a T younger than you? Like, talking to someone about your problems and stuff to someone who has less "life experience" per say?

My last T was younger than me. Im 31, she looked about 25ish. The one i had before her was 60-something I'm guessing. In hindsight, I preferred the older lady. She had an air of .. something... I respected her right off the bat I think. I think it was because she had been in this game for 30 years. The older lady had a HUGE toolbox of stuff to try, whereas the younger lady had only the simple stuff (her answer to everything was "mindfulness" and thats it.. lol.. I think that's all she had to be honest).

I think for the younger lady, I was one of the toughest cases she had come across. Whereas the older lady had seen it all before. The younger lady gave up on me within the first 3 sessions as far as I can tell, whereas it took the older lady 3 years to give up on me.

[bluemountains]

I have hit an age (50) where many of my caregivers are younger than me. My family doc. and dentist are both in their thirties. My pdoc doesn't look a day over 25, although I figure she must be around 30.
Only my t and gyn are around my age, but each of them may be a few years younger.

I don't mind being treated by younger drs., but I do find them (maybe just mine) more clinical and less human than the older ones.

Bluemountains

[sconnie892]

I haven't experienced this with a t either. My t is probably 15 or 20 years older than me. I appreciate the life experience she brings to the sessions. I don't think I'd want to work with someone younger than me at this point. This question made me wonder how the employee I supervise at work feels. I am young enough to be her daughter, but I am her boss.

[SpiritRunner]

T1 is 7 yrs older than me, and I liked that.....close enough in age to me that we could relate in that sense, but I did want someone older than me, rather than younger. For some reason, I just don't feel comfortable with the thought of a T younger than me......I want my T to be older than me. T2 is in her 50s, and I'm 35.......it's really about the same age diff as I have with my H anyway. I wouldn't have thought I'd be comfortable with a T that much older than me, but it has worked fine......her life experience, her work experience, the fact that she wasn't young/beautiful so there wasn't the same sort of erotic transference I had with my T closer to my age (well, she's not homely either! and the lack of erotic/empathic transference has a lot to do with her personality difference from T1, too). Anyway, yeah, if I were to go for a third T, I'd want someone in her mid40's maybe......that feels right to me, rather than someone younger than me or past their 50s.

[Perna]

I think I would have to talk to the T. Education, gender, age, and other socio-economic factors use to matter to me but I don't know that they would as much anymore because a lot of my "husband must be blonde, blue-eyed, tall, dark, and handsome" younger must-haves have been busted by experience.

I just found out last week that my t is 5 years younger than me (I'm 37). It was a little bit weird for about 2 minutes.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Perna

a lot of my "husband must be blonde, blue-eyed, tall, dark, and handsome" younger must-haves have been busted by experience.

(Perna - because in yr experience you found few blonde, dark candidates? )

T2 is about 7 yrs younger than I am - maybe it's her profession but she seems older than me, or same.

[pbutton]

The first time I was in therapy, I was 10. So my therapist was older. I do wonder how old she actually was. In my memory she is OLD OLD. For all I really know, she was 27. lol

My T now is about 15 years older than I am. I am comfortable with that. I suppose I could have a younger T if s/he seemed mature.

[jenluv]

My T is 9 years younger than I am. I don't think that it's an issue but I think about it from time to time. T is married but no children -- and there's something about having had children that changes a person's perspective. But then again, T works with children a lot and has training in some of my problem areas.

For a very short time i had an interim T younger than me by about 8-10 yrs. I could not do it. I knew more than her. Id been married a lot longer. Lots more life experience. I kept thinking, shes just a KID. I didnt learn anything from her, a lot probably due to my mindset !

[WantingtoHeal]

My pdoc is younger than me. Feels kind of weird, but I seem to trust him and respect him. This is the first time I've had one younger than me. I do wonder if he has enough experience to treat me, but I don't have much of a choice at this point.

My T is only about 8 years older than me - about my sister's age, so that's kind of strange, considering I feel like so childish around her.

I guess this happens with advancing age. Funny, it's like everyone grew up except me.

My T is younger then me by 5 years. A male T was a bigger deal to me then his age, but so far so good. Sconnie, I understand how you feel, I supervise 6 people and they are all older then me but 1 and she is a few years younger. Thats just life though.....one minute your the youngest and the next your the oldest