Is it wrong to wish ill on another client of T?

So, as I stated in another thread, I emailed T asking to come in this week (I'm on every 2 weeks right now) even though it was supposed to be my "off-week" because of some issues I have admitted to. Unfortunately, she was booked solid both days she works. She said if something opens up she would let me know.

Is it wrong that I am now wishing another one of her clients gets sick and cancels so I can have their slot? Anyone want to join me in the wishing?

I would be lieing if I said that I have never wished that.

I don't think it is unusual to do so.

In college, I went to see my T and came face to face with another client (a guy my age at the time). Turns out our T double booked! I was about to go into hand combat mode to keep my time slot. The guy smiled and said I should just take the time slot, that he would come back later. He was so genuine and nice I felt like a creep for immediately hating him.

I think lots of us go through hating other patients--if you had intense sibling rivalry growing up, that only makes it more resonant.

I think that sometimes when they put me on the cancelleation list.. Not that I want somebody to get sick, but that somebody, for some reason would just cancel.. I think it is okay..

I actively dislike the client that sees T before I do. He seems to keep talking forever and my session almost always starts late. Of course, that's really more my T's responsibility than the client's, but I find it easier to blame the client.

My OCD would never allow me to do that because I would believe that I actually caused them to get sick or something. But I get what you mean.

Nothing wrong with wishing that a slot opens up for whatever reason. The scheduled person can have have their own scheduling issues, or other reasons for rescheduling and leaving the time open for you.

How about you wish that one of T's other clients has an obligation come up at work so then you can have their time slot? Or that they simply don't feel like going to therapy this week? Seems a little nicer. I hope it works out for you.

As for how I feel about T's other clients... I guess that's never really been an issue for me. For awhile, the client before me was this very tall, very talkative woman who is probably about 15 years older than me. I actually rather liked her because she was the only client I'd run into at T's office who said "hello" whenever she saw me. It felt friendly. Everyone else I see at T's office looks like they want to shoot me with daggers as I bounce in or out of T's door!

I do, however, feel a little awkward sometimes T brings up another client during session. It's almost always the same client. She jokes that she wishes she could fix me and this other client up because she thinks we'd hit it off. She says we're quite similar, all in good ways. I like that T thinks I'd be a good match for this other person (that I'm a good match period) and I like that T speaks positively and warmly about this other client, because it shows she does genuinely care, listen, and think about her clients, even when they're not sitting in front of her. I'd also like to think she speaks similarly about me to this other client. But, at the same time, it has crossed my mind: "Does she like this client more than me?" or "Does T have favorite clients?" I'd like to think that she likes me and this other client equally, and that she says the same things to this other client that she does to me. That she brings up the other client only because we're so similar and she thinks it would be cute to match us up-- not because she just can't stop talking about this other "amazing" client. And I really do think that is the case. In fact, she told me she spoke of me to the other client as well. But it still pushes a button sometimes. I don't need T to like me "more" than any other client, but it would hurt my feelings to hear that T liked another client "more" than me.

There is nothing right or wrong about our thoughts, they are purely thoughts that arise and then go again. Well I am sure that is what my T would say

I have never really felt this way, I just don't think about other clients. Beats me