[shezbut]

I knew that it would be a month before I'd see my T (which IS a long time!), but I figured that I could call him if things ever got really intense. Just days after I saw him last, I let my bf and some ladies here know about an intimate issue that's been following me for almost 30 years!

The reaction of everyone who has responded makes me feel a little better about myself towards the incident. I have been carrying deep shame and self-hate inside for SO long! I am now really anxious to finally tell my T about the incident, to hopefully make me feel better. Another part of me knows that there are other things that I haven't shared ~ and I'm still scared.

I just feel these intense emotions and I'm not sure that I can wait. Who's to say that my dark side won't take over before my T returns? You know what I mean??

[ECHOES]

A month is a long time to not see your T. I don't know when your month began, but I hope it is not much longer til it's over.

Could you write about your feelings, or call just to say that you'll have something important to talk about when you meet again?

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

A month is a long time to not see your T. I don't know when your month began, but I hope it is not much longer til it's over.

Could you write about your feelings, or call just to say that you'll have something important to talk about when you meet again?

I still have another 2 1/2 weeks before my visit.

I should write these things down, but for some reason, I can't find the will within myself to get it done. I suppose that I could call and leave a message saying that I need to talk about something important. Maybe then he'll try to squeeze me in to see him sooner.

Thanks for responding with the ideas!

[ECHOES]

I find it hard to write when I'm too much in the middle of difficult times. Maybe if this starts to settle down a bit, then you could write.

Hang in there!

Shezbut can you e mail him just to give him the rundown of what you're dealing with? Maybe you can be seen earlier. If that isn't an option, you've always got us (for what it's worth) Would journaling help or make it worse?

[shezbut]

Maybe I could try e-mailing him, to give him a better idea of what I'm going through. That may be more helpful than a bland phone message. I'll try that. Thanks Calista! I do, of course, appreciate all of the support and feedback I've gotten here at PC.