[likelife]

MKAC's thread about needing to hear things repeatedly made me think about what sometimes feels like a compulsive need to say things to my T over and over. The first thing that comes to mind is how much I miss her between sessions. Mind you, most of the "saying" is via email.

Sometimes she responds and sometimes she doesn't. If I say in session that I had missed her the week before, she usually just comments on the fact that I said the words out loud, instead of in an email. And asks me how it was to say it, etc. etc.

I sometimes wish that I didn't feel compelled to tell her that I miss her over and over. After a certain point, what more is there for her to say. Sometimes I wonder if I keep saying it because I'm looking for a certain response (not that I know what that would be). That she misses me too? Clearly she doesn't. That she understands why I might miss her? Maybe that's closer to it.

I don't know, just musing through my fingers now. Are there any things you find yourself wanting to say repeatedly to your T?

I feel you pain.

[purplelephant]

Deffffffffinitely that I miss her. I get you there

I do manage to restrain myself, but barely.

Sometimes I want to try to go on and on about music because I play multiple instruments and that's huge part of my life (plus there's the stuff I like to listen to) and it bugs me that we don't connect musically at all. I want to make her like 10 zillion mix CDs and make her appreciate how incredibly great all these songs are :P

[CantExplain]

I feel a need to repeat if I feel I haven't been heard.

[stopdog]

"Is there a point to this?"

What I repeatedly ask her.
I don't mean to this thread.

And if she is sure I am not crazy. And if she would admit if she did not know.

It seems I say a lot of things over and over.

[likelife]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

I feel you pain.

Hahahaha!

[tkdgirl]

For some reason I seem to constantly tell her "that sounds nice in theory but..." or "that's not how the real world works" or "that's all well and good but how does that actually help me" or some variation of these.

Now that you mention it, I also find I keep saying alot of things over and over.

[healed84]

I say "I don't know" alot.... Def. not the samething as what you are saying to your T. I am pretty sure that my T has seen right through that now. "I don't know." means yes, but I don't want to talk about it... lol. I say it all the time. I think it is good that you express yourself to your T. I am sure a lot of people would love to tell their Ts how much they miss them in between sessions.

This question made me laugh because lately what I keep repeating to him is "No, I'm not going to read that bloody book.". He and I are in a battle of wills about this one. Mainly humorously though.

I have a number of things that I say over and over:

(1) Are you just saying that because you can't think of anything else to say? Do you really know what you are doing?

(3) Am I frustrating you? Getting on your nerves? Bothering you? Driving you nuts?

(4) Do I really need to be here? Is there anything we are doing that is helping me? Am I wasting your time and my money?

She often just responds with things like:

How are you feeling about this? What are your concerns? Where is the anger coming from? Do you think you need to be here? What do you think we are doing in therapy? Do you think it is a waste of your time? Why do you keep showing up?

And then, "No, I am not frustrated with you. You are not getting on my nerves. You are not bothering me or driving me nuts."

I hate it when she responds to my questions with another question. She keeps telling me that ultimately the decision to stay or leave is in my hands. She reminds me that I am in control of my therapy.

When a session is intense, I may say "You are making me a nervous wreck!" or "Can we please change the subject? Surely there is something else we can talk about!" or "This is stupid. This is dumb. This is ridiculous. I hate this. This makes no sense. I don't act like this in RL. You are playing mind games with me."

I know this all sounds like our sessions are harsh. Sometimes they are, but most of this is done in sarcasm. My husband doesn't get this at all. He thinks I should go in there and be all nice and sweet and accept this help. He just cannot understand how a therapy session really works. There are a lot of "sides" to me that come out in a session. Lots of times I end up emailing her to tell her "I am sorry for being ugly in our session."

She always says that she does not take any of that personal and that I am doing what I need to do to heal. Ane then she adds, "Good job!"

[Perna]

Originally Posted by farmergirl

"No, I'm not going to read that bloody book.".

Okay, farmergirl, spill; what bloody book?

I saw my T and then we terminated and then I saw her again many years later and I was struck with deja vu on how we almost immediately got into the exact same arguments/corners. The second time though her response was different (surprised heck out of me; obviously we had both changed, not just me) and we didn't stay stuck. I did the "I don't know" for awhile but eventually we made a compact that that was outlawed and I wasn't to say it anymore but take the time to "find" the answer.

I say "I miss(ed) you" many, many times as well.

Also, things like "I need/want you," "I'm scared"

I'm embarrassed

[Silent_tsol]

"I guess I.....(answer question)"
"I guess I.....(answer question)"
"I guess I.....(answer question)"

"I don't know"
"I don't know"
"I don't know"

Originally Posted by Perna

Okay, farmergirl, spill; what bloody book?

He really, really likes this bookful The Mindful Way Through Depression. I have actually bought the book and have tried to read it twice getting about 1/3 through it both times. But I really don't like the writer's style and it bores me to tears. I refuse to force my way through it. He keeps trying though.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by stopdog

"Is there a point to this?"

What I repeatedly ask her.
I don't mean to this thread.

And if she is sure I am not crazy. And if she would admit if she did not know.

It seems I say a lot of things over and over.

Maybe you keep asking because you don't believe her answers?
That probably applies to me, too.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by CantExplain

Maybe you keep asking because you don't believe her answers?
That probably applies to me, too.

No. I like the ritual and reasurance of it.

Last week an issue came up and I just thought 'I really don't want to talk about THIS again'... but I suppose sometimes it's a case of 'one more time with feeling!' and it turned out not to be a waste of time going over it. So you never know.

But yeah, I've said "I don't know" and "I guess" a lot as well.