[PetulantWolf]

Its so textbook but I totally have the hots for my T. I know, this too shall pass but he's really hot, lol...

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Ya know...being textbook is ok that means you are...normal and you know,....sometimes it really IS just love. Not everything is black and white...hugs

[JustBen]

You have the clarity to realize where that attraction is really coming from...that's not textbook. That's way better. (Textbook is saying, "I know what this seems like, but I'm really truly in love with this guy and I'm just unlucky that he happens to be my therapist. I know it seems this way for everyone else, but I'm really different.")

[Evangelista]

If you promise not to tell..I have a little secret myself...my T is so kind..I find myself going..mmmm..if we had met in another setting..you would be cool to hang out with..shhh..don't tell anyone..smile..but really I know this is pretty common..part of the process, it's just recognizing where it's centered..and if it starts to interfere in the therapy process being able to bring it up..their trained to uderstand this occurs..and how to address it..but again..since I have NEVER had that issue..smile..you didn't hear that from me..besides I am to old for crushes..oh darn what am I suppose to call that Vin Diesel thing..yes he rocks my world more than my T...smile..God I don't know where that came from..shhhh..

[JustBen]

Your secret is safe with us.

You both might be very surprised at how different your therapists are outside the consultation room. I've often thought that a good "cure" for this kind of infatuation would be a 30 minute hidden video of the therapist at home, grocery shopping, etc.

[magickal1]

My T is really nice, and we seem to have a lot in common, too. She says after a two year period, I'm no longer considered a 'client' and we can hang out..lol!

LOL Oh I like the hidden camera Idea. Though in the case of my past therapist now friend what went on during therapy time vs. friendship time there isnt much difference. Therapy time was a bit more structured and she had to push at times but other then that the way that therapist was during sessions was and is how she is during friendship time. This therapist/ friend portray (ed, es) her real self all the time. So should a guy client have a crush on her and watch her on hidden camera he would probably end up more in love with her. lol better have stunt doubles to portray some down sides in cases like this.

[Twinks]

Only in my rear view mirror do I know that you are in a good place with great potential to grow.
Man oh man, I was there but fought it every inch of the way.

If you take the leap and talk to your T about those feelings, you will find that a part of yourself will fast forward in emotional health.
Being vulnerable is the best kept secret to being emotionally strong.

Take it slow, and good luck.

Twinks

[Evangelista]

I agree with you Ben..smile…although imagery is just as good as video at times..lets see..My T..in spandex..next to Vin Diesel…mmmm…no contest. Giggle…but seriously, I understand a little about about the Transference Bubble, and activation of implicit relational issues, and the Countertransference that even Therapists have to be careful of..so keep’n it Re..al..it..T..based.. but again the process of projection is something that is inert isn’t it, and can be utilized in a positive manner, and should be discussed if it hinders the client’s ability to..well..negotiate the rigors of the therapeutic enviroment…Oh God, I think I channeled a past life on that one..okay..imagery assignment again. mmmm...okay.. that’s enough.. I am CURED...thanks Ben and please forgive my quirky sense of humor .. it runneth amok at times…and is a HUGE defense system..time enough for painful stuff..always time enough...

Hi evangelista just checking - do you mean - attachment?

Attachment is feelings of closeness - liking , loving a person for example I like the therapist that I have at the moment. Another example I have fun with a friend and we have become attached to each other that is we like each other and love spending time together.

Transference is using the therapist as a container for the clients own feelings about the topic being discussed. for example when talking to a therapist a client may feel that therapist is ganging up on him/her because that what they felt the abuser was doing - basically seeing the therapist as the abuser. Another example role playing the therapist role plays an experience with a situation by being the other person in the situation so that the client can take the bottled up feeling out of themselfs and into the therapist so that the situation can be taken care of.

[Evangelista]

(((MYSELF)))

Vin Diesel & Attachment..mmm..imagery again..smile..

Transference & T...mmm..I have worked those issues before where I have become very angry for something which is being projected onto him, not personally, but in the context of the therapy..the same can be said for the times I recognize that the need I have for him to react in a certain way, is based on something I am working thru from an implicit responce from a memory..I don't know if that makes sense..but hey..it sounds good..smile..

makes sense to me. (((((((((((evangelista)))))))

[heartspace]

Evangelista it took years for me not to react negatively to people that I misinterpreted. I had issues with people from my past and when I encountered people who in some way reminded me of them I would react childishly. Major transference and projection. I didn't know at the time what was going on but thank heavens I realized or I would have alienated just about everyone I know.
But I worked at it and consider myself liberated of a lot of the baggage I used to carry around. I'm also much nicer to be around too
Anyway what you're saying makes sense to me and I can so relate.

[eskielover]

I had many psychologists before the one I have now. He was one who I could talk to more like a caring, understanding father which made the relationship very comfortable. When I was in the medical hospital for my massive weight loss (anorexia) last year, my GP had the hospitals psychologist come in to see me every day. He was great at asking questions & trying to get out what was going on & pointed out how much anger I was dealing with especially since I was dealing with my Mothers death that happened while I was in the hospital. I felt really comfortable talking with him too, but is was mostly answering his questions. I had never had a psychologist that used that method for therapy......mostly all the ones I had would just listen & say little things on & off. The psychologist I have now was having back problems & quit seeing patients except in his home about 2 hours away from where I live. I was frustrated because the one from the hospital wouldn't take me on as a patient outside of the hospital & couldn't find someone who was willing to deal with PTSD which the actual trauma was the cause of the anorexia.

I ended up going back to a lady psycologist who I had close to home. She was also a horse person who had belonged to the same dressage group as I had. She only took my medicare as 1/2 payment of her cost, so it was costing my quite a bit each month & I found that I was mostly chatting about my horses, dressage, & dealing with a new foal, which was an experience that we both had in common. She helped me through the initial issues & to validated the fact that what I actually went through was a trauma. It seemed like is more & more became a horse discussion session because she felt that is was good for me to have a break from the feelings I was experiencing. I got to the point where I felt that it was an expensive chat about horses & when my other psychologist was over his back operation, I ended up going back to him.

It is amazing because I seem to be much more able to open up even more with him & we do focus on the feelings from the trauma & my Mothers death that I am dealing with. Again, it still feels like I am talking with a kind, caring father. He is so understanding & sensitive & I feel like after being away from him for awhile, the therapy is working much better than it did before. I kinda feel like the odd ball in that my feelings for my psychologist are respect & a feeling of being with a caring father rather than the other type of attraction that others seem to feel. I am so glad to be back with him, & so glad that he is so understanding & provides guidance even more than it felt like before. Guess I am not a very good textbook patient. either with therapy or with my pdoc since I can't seem to take most of the meds that are supposed to work without horrible side effects.

With any of my previous make psychologists, I never ever had that attraction to any of them.....so I must be the real oddball & definitely not textbook anything.

Debbie

[eskielover]

I had many psychologists before the one I have now. He was one who I could talk to more like a caring, understanding father which made the relationship very comfortable. When I was in the medical hospital for my massive weight loss (anorexia) last year, my GP had the hospitals psychologist come in to see me every day. He was great at asking questions & trying to get out what was going on & pointed out how much anger I was dealing with especially since I was dealing with my Mothers death that happened while I was in the hospital. I felt really comfortable talking with him too, but is was mostly answering his questions. I had never had a psychologist that used that method for therapy......mostly all the ones I had would just listen & say little things on & off. The psychologist I have now was having back problems & quit seeing patients except in his home about 2 hours away from where I live. I was frustrated because the one from the hospital wouldn't take me on as a patient outside of the hospital & couldn't find someone who was willing to deal with PTSD which the actual trauma was the cause of the anorexia.

I ended up going back to a lady psycologist who I had close to home. She was also a horse person who had belonged to the same dressage group as I had. She only took my medicare as 1/2 payment of her cost, so it was costing my quite a bit each month & I found that I was mostly chatting about my horses, dressage, & dealing with a new foal, which was an experience that we both had in common. She helped me through the initial issues & to validated the fact that what I actually went through was a trauma. It seemed like is more & more became a horse discussion session because she felt that is was good for me to have a break from the feelings I was experiencing. I got to the point where I felt that it was an expensive chat about horses & when my other psychologist was over his back operation, I ended up going back to him.

It is amazing because I seem to be much more able to open up even more with him & we do focus on the feelings from the trauma & my Mothers death that I am dealing with. Again, it still feels like I am talking with a kind, caring father. He is so understanding & sensitive & I feel like after being away from him for awhile, the therapy is working much better than it did before. I kinda feel like the odd ball in that my feelings for my psychologist are respect & a feeling of being with a caring father rather than the other type of attraction that others seem to feel. I am so glad to be back with him, & so glad that he is so understanding & provides guidance even more than it felt like before. Guess I am not a very good textbook patient. either with therapy or with my pdoc since I can't seem to take most of the meds that are supposed to work without horrible side effects.

With any of my previous make psychologists, I never ever had that attraction to any of them.....so I must be the real oddball & definitely not textbook anything.

Debbie