[healed84]

I know that this is a topic I have seen a lot around this board. Alot of us (at least from what I observe) don't want to rely on our Ts or other support person so much. T keeps on reminding me that really to do "it" on our own isn's smart.. We need each other. That he specifically is there to be my support person. Reminds me over and over again to call when I need, to make as many appointments as I need, that is okay if I have to come in more than once a week. It still just feels so weird.

I am having another rough day.. after going through my plans for anxiety, such as meds, excersize, relaxation cd, in generally doing things to distract myself I find myself anxious and on the verge of tears. I know T would say to call him, even if it is only for him to help ground me. But, I just can't get the past the fact that I have seen him twice this week, and talked to him on the phone once. I don't want to have to talk to him again. I am afraid more reliance on him is just going to perpetuate a cycle of relying too much on him, and that can't be healthy. I am so torn in this situation. I am sure somebody has to identify with this issue right?

[likelife]

Yes, I definitely identify. Theory has it that giving in to the need lessens it, though I don't know that that's really proved true for me. At the same time, I haven't truly given in to it either.

I think it's good to have multiple sources of support and to use all of them as needed. If your T is reassuring you that it's okay to contact him, then I think it's okay. I don't think he'd offer something he truly didn't want to give.

I know it's hard.

[WikidPissah]

I wish I could just give up my walls and trust T, lean on him and let him help...and sometimes I do that, but I always pull back.

[Perna]

When the anxiety won't leave me alone, I get basic and think about what I think the "other"/T could do? It's kind of like when you're physically sick and just have to wait until you get better?

You've done all your self-care things, no one else can really get the anxiety monkey off your back but time can. Our feelings and bodily processes change; we get hungry or thirsty, we eat, we're not hungry or thirsty anymore. We get sleepy, we nap/sleep, we wake up. We're anxious, we do whatever else we can (I read), go about our day as best we can (instead of focusing on the anxiety) and eventually we realize we aren't so anxious?

[Dreamy01]

It is a difficult one and I don't have the answers either. I don't know when there comes a time to contact T or when you sit through the need without giving in. I guess you can only go by instinct and by what you know your T is okay with. If over time you feel the contact is only making you need him more than perhaps it's time to re-evaluate.

Like Perna said above, often it's a matter of sitting it out and waiting until you feel better. Emotions pass, like most illnesses. But that doesn't mean not reaching out for support because sometimes that is necessary. I don't know how you can tell when that point is reached, short of being in crisis. Battling with it myself today so I'm sorry I can't be of more help

[geez]

(((Healed))) sorry you are going through this. Being needy does indeed suck but how wonderful your T sounds for being there for you. My old T was there for me when it mattered the most and I felt like I needed her a lot. Now I 'm with a new T and the 'need monster' is slowly coming back as I feel like this new T gets me on a different level. She doesn't want me to not feel so anxious between appointments - how did she know?

Anyhow if the support is there for you take it - your T would tell you if you are stepping out of bounds. If you feel like you are being too dependent on T I would bring it up at your next appointment.