[granite1]

I was just wondering

my T often ask me if i herd her and if i say yes she will then ask what did she just say

she will also ask thing like do you understand what i just said and if i say yes she will ask me to tell her what she just said

she will say something is important and if i say i know she will then say tell me why i said it was important

it can make me very uncomfortable and totally called out if i don't know the answer and this is usually the case

does your T do this to see if you are present .and if the find out you were not what is there response

these are just some of the questions my T will ask she has a lot

[lostmyway21]

Yes my T asks if I'm there or still listening all the time. Once I hit a downward spiral he knows I never stay present. I love that he does, it shows his awareness. What does he do? Repeats himself, and then tries a different approach to get me present and listening.

[KUREHA]

My psychologist will sometimes ask if I understand and then I have to explain it back to her.

She does it so I don't get it wrong or so I know why I shouldn't be doing something.

[WePow]

My t will see my dissociating and say "Ok. Where did you go?" It helps me to stay with him.

[unaluna]

my T has to get my attention BEFORE he says anything, like waving a feather in front of a cat, then he asks me if I understand what he's getting at. ETA: it's like shifting a car into reverse (me listening) when it's going full speed ahead (me talking).

[BlessedRhiannon]

Yes, my T often asks if I'm present or if I heard her, and sometimes, she asks me "what did you hear me say?" because sometimes, what I heard and what she actually said are two totally different things.

I'm very grateful that my T checks in with me to make sure I'm present and that I'm not distorting what she said in to something else.

If I tell her that I'm not present or that I'm not hearing her or that I don't have the slightest idea what she's said, we stop and talk about what's happened. We talk about why I've dissociated or what has triggered me or where my mind has gone. Once I'm present again, my T will repeat what she's said if necessary, and we continue on. Several times, I've heard her clearly during the session, but gotten things mixed up in my head afterwards. When that happens, I tell T the next session that I need her to repeat what she'd said the previous week, and we'll talk about it again.

My T has never gotten mad at me for not hearing her or distorting what she's said or not being present.

[Silent_tsol]

Yep, my t asks where I've gone and I usually just say I don't know. I don't think she's calling you out, I think it's be ok to back track and say "oh maybe I didn't hear" she's probably asking because she suspects you didn't. By repeating it back she can try to make sure we understand what they mean rather than what we hear-sometimes it's not the same

[sweepy62]

mine also lol, sometimes i hear but dont listen but she is ok with it as she expects dissociation sometimes

[suzzie]

yes, all the time.

[stopdog]

I would not describe it as the therapist testing a client paying attention, but rather checking in to see what the client heard versus what the therapist intended. It is a way to keep the communication clear and straighten out miscommunications before they morph into huge misunderstandings/misinterpretations.

[newtus]

many of mine have to snap their fingers literally or say "over here". i mean its not just focus problems but its me responding to outside stimuli (they say it like that). i used to get angry about them doing that but i dont mind because sometimes theres no other way to get my attention.

do they usually snap fingers at people?????

[granite1]

Originally Posted by newtus

many of mine have to snap their fingers literally or say "over here". i mean its not just focus problems but its me responding to outside stimuli (they say it like that). i used to get angry about them doing that but i dont mind because sometimes theres no other way to get my attention.

do they usually snap fingers at people?????

yes my T has done that to try to get me to respond one time but that was it.i dont remember what she asked but we were on the floor playing with magnetic words and the next thing i know she is snaping her fingers in my face saying HEY!! kind of made me jump.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I would not describe it as the therapist testing a client paying attention, but rather checking in to see what the client heard versus what the therapist intended. It is a way to keep the communication clear and straighten out miscommunications before they morph into huge misunderstandings/misinterpretations.

WHAT!! I would never Ever misunderstand or misinterpret anything my T would be saying to me at all LOL

[granite1]

I dont think my T has ever asked where did you go or anything like that .she has asked if i heard her and to repeat it back.
she has aks me if i am here and why would i come if i was just going to check out.
she has snaped her fingers
she has talked very loud
she has said my name very loud .

anyone want to share where they go.i don't think i really go anyplace i just kind of run and hide in my head in all my confused jumble of thouhgts and stuff believe it or not i feel safe there .i cant really describe the feeling i guess there isnt any.hard to say

i would think that he would, but after last night i would have to say "no way". he lost me so many times last night.

in a way it is good that your t is so in-tuned with you that she does notice

i would not like any one snapping their fingers at me.

[tkdgirl]

Originally Posted by granite1

I.

anyone want to share where they go.i don't think i really go anyplace i just kind of run and hide in my head in all my confused jumble of thouhgts and stuff believe it or not i feel safe there .i cant really describe the feeling i guess there isnt any.hard to say

Sometime I don't go anywhere I just sit there and zone out. Complete blankness. Its like time stops and I'm just empty. Other time I go back in the past and remember specific events just think through them.

When T asks me where I went, she usually provides some alternatives such as are you remembering something, thinking about something, re-experiencing something, or just no where. Sometime I know and can tell T other times the best I can say is I don't know.

T actually called me out today for the first time and said I was disassociating. Not sure how I feel about that.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by granite1

does your T do this to see if you are present .and if the find out you were not what is there response

Yes, my T definitely checks to see if I am "there". Mostly she can see that I am, but sometimes she will say, "Where did you go?"

[googley]

My T will check in with me to make sure I'm understanding what she is saying. Especially if she thinks I'm dissociating in session (not uncommon). She wants to know that I am aware of what is going on, otherwise I'm not getting my moneys worth.

[Butterflies Are Free]

Yes - she will ask me if I am in my adult self or my child self. She will also ask me what I am feeling on a body level. This is very helpful and tends to bring me back to the present day.

[rainboots87]

My T does this to make sure I fully and accurately understand what she means and sometimes to make sure I'm present and not just nodding to be polite (she said that yesterday, lol). Either way, it's for my own benefit so I've gotten used to telling her my interpretation of what she's saying even before she asks sometimes.

[mixedup_emotions]

Oh yes, my T has asked me to tell him what I heard him say, or to recap important points, etc. I HATE feeling put on the spot like that. SO much pressure. I get so panicky at that point.

...And when I dissociate, T tells me to stay present, or come back into the room, or to look at him, etc. Sometimes my body responds hypnotically - like, I can hear him and look over at him, but I'm not really comprehending what's going on.....so embarrassing.

[sconnie892]

I often have to ask T to repeat questions because my mind goes blank immediately after she asks them. T has also said "you didn't answer my question."

I don't think I disassociate in session but there is often deliberate resistance and silence when I don't want to answer a question because it feels to painful. Sometimes t will let me sit there for awhile, but then she will ask for thoughts.

[Honeybun]

Both my T's do this. One asks me directly "Are you dissociating". Part of this is to call my attention when it is happening, then it becomes learning for me, so I can better recognize when it is happening as well as what happens JUST before it happens. My other T just checks in to see if I am understanding or bring my attention to what happens to my connection to him when I dissociate. So I think what your T is doing is just part of the work. Of course you are the one on the receiving end and if it makes you uncomfortable it is probably a good topic for discussion in therapy.

[vin_rouge]

He does, indeed.

I'm actually a little surprised. My therapist never does this, ever. Is that strange?
I think our nonverbal connection is unusually supercharged. It's hard to describe. When I think about it, she does actually ask "do you understand"/"are you hearing me," but it's not with words; it's with a certain facial expression or uniquely nuanced silence. When she does this, I know to nod or give my own subtle facial expression. When I fall silent for a very long time, she might "what's going on?" or "what are you thinking?" I don't know how I would feel if my therapist were to ever regularly request I repeat after her. I think I would either become highly irritated, or feel weirdly pleased by the extra attention.

I wonder if she does that with other clients? I wonder if a certain type of client sometimes, in a way, requires that sort of check-up? I myself depersonalize often enough, so I wonder if it's more than that. A temperament, maybe?