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#1
Apr 20, 2012, 08:45 AM
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He very kindly, lovingly, and gently gave me the news that I was fearing the most -- and I can't bring myself to talk about it right now because I need to "try it on" for a while first, then maybe I can embrace it.
But I just wanted to say that we got some great things worked out. It actually works to my advantage to speak before I think as I will often say those right-brain things that don't make sense but tell how I am feeling. We talked about email boundaries and journaling. He has been encouraging me to journal -- which I do and find very helpful -- and I thought he didn't want much email contact. I had a moment this week where instead of journaling my thoughts/feelings and keeping them to myself I sent them all to him in an email. He said it was helpful to read my email. I said, "huh?" We figured out that I thought he wanted me to journal because A. Yes, it IS very helpful to me to sort things out, but also B. So I wouldn't bother him. I thought that telling me to journal was a way of dismissing so much of my processing and what I want to say because I didn't think he wanted to read any of it. Because of THAT perception I essentially felt like he was saying "you are too much" which is a deep-seated fear of mine. Turns out I'm not too much, and he's in this for the long-haul. Just wanted to share. Despite the news I received I am still hopeful. |
 Anonymous32491, Anonymous33425, Anonymous43209
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 BonnieJean, CantExplain, Chopin99, Gently1, pbutton, Snuffleupagus
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#2
Apr 20, 2012, 09:08 AM
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I am glad you are so hopeful and you got somethings cleared up.. I hope the news that you learn to cope with the news that you got and that it is good and not bad.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
| jenluv
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#3
Apr 20, 2012, 08:06 PM
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it's nice you got reassurance from your therapist.
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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| jenluv
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#4
Apr 20, 2012, 10:59 PM
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 It sounds like you had a very productive session.
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| jenluv
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#5
Apr 21, 2012, 06:37 AM
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jenluv - i've got the deep seated fear of 'being too much' for my t, too. I haven't figured out entirely where that comes from but I think it is somehow related to abandonment issues. If you do prove too much for someone, they might leave is part of my fear. Anyway, I hope you are able to go through an acceptance cycle with that news you've gotten and eventually process it.
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| jenluv
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#6
Apr 21, 2012, 05:54 PM
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Jenluv, lots of hugs and hope that you will be able to come to a place of acceptance with the news. Keep us posted and talk when you can
__________________
Linda 
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| jenluv
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