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#1
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So it happened. My bipolar cost me my first big life loss. My JOB.
![]() I've been going through a lot of med changes, switching from manic, to depressed to hypo manic, and it caught up with me and affected my moods enough to affect my work. I got the call last night from HR that I'm off the schedule until further notice. The most upsetting thing is my coworkers who I trusted the last three years seemed to have thrown me under the bus. I have major trust issues, and I went against my instinct and allowed myself to trust my boss like a mother. Then this happened. ![]() Well after I got the news, I took it hard. I emailed T how much of a failure I was and a bunch of other stuff. He replied to me and was really supportive. He told me, " I believe in you, your not a failure." and later when I told him I was going to just drink myself into oblivion he emailed me and told me "stay calm, your in school, you can get a job somewhere else. Its going to work out." ![]() I feel betrayed, and hurt. Its triggered all my abandonment issues with my T, which I had JUST made progress on. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous32491, Anonymous33425, Anonymous37917, Anonymous43209, Chopin99, critterlady, delicatefade26, FourRedheads, Honeybun, jenluv, sconnie892
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#2
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i know it feelsso horrible and i am sorry.just got lots of hugs
__________________
BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT ![]() Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
![]() lostmyway21
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#3
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Sounds like your T is still there for you. I am sorry that your co-workers couldn't be more understanding. You can keep going though. It sounds like this was not your career, so even though it feels horrible, hope is not lost.
I understand the feeling of losing people due to mental health issues. Tough, but there are people who understand and stick with you, I think you have one of those in your T. |
![]() lostmyway21
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#4
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Your T is right. And some employers are more flexible than others.
__________________
Mr Ambassador, alias Ancient Plax, alias Captain Therapy, alias Big Poppa, alias Secret Spy, etc. Add that to your tattoo, Baby! |
![]() lostmyway21
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#5
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big safe hugs to you! I am so sorry. This will hurt ... but you are able to make it through.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
![]() lostmyway21
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#6
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Sometimes I'm just not sure if I can anymore.
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![]() WePow
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#7
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My comeback line eventually became, "Oh yeah? - well, I been thrown outa better places than this dump!" I have a coffee mug from every place i've worked - I could seriously open a well idk not even a used mug shop, nobody wants this junk. but I wanted you to know I was thinking of you
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![]() lostmyway21
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#8
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I emailed my T after my session today (during which the younger parts of me threw temper tantrums and T remained as calm and patient as ever) and asked: Why do you believe in me so much (more than I do at certain times)? What have I done to deserve your love, patience, support, and caring? She answered the following: I believe in you because you have shown me your core self or I see essences of your core self and you are a good person deserving of love and care ... all of us need someone to believe in us in those moments when we lose sight of believing in ourselves ...
It sounds like your T is saying much of the same. Allow his belief in you to rejuvenate your own. Half the battle is believing.... ![]() ![]() |
![]() lostmyway21
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#9
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![]() lostmyway21
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#10
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((((lostmyway21))))
__________________
Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ ![]() |
![]() lostmyway21
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#11
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Oh my gosh, I am sooooo sorry. That just hurts so bad. What a rotten thing for your coworkers to do!! I too was betrayed by people I worked with once. It hurts. I am so sorry you're going through this.
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![]() lostmyway21
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#12
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((((lostmyway))))Things will get better. I am glad that your T is there for you.
__________________
"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second." "You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. |
![]() lostmyway21
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#13
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Bleh this weekend has really sucked. I'm doing my best to keep myself together. This has horribly triggered my abandonment issues with T. I had nightmares all night that he was going to give up on me and abandon me. I woke up really scared all night. This has really messed up my trust in people, even more than it was before. So much for progress.
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![]() WePow
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