Welcome to the Couch! People of PC Psychotherapy (Part 2)

With my history, its an act of congress to get anything that would remotly be addictive.... although Xanax wasnt an issue...go figure...LOL

wow i'm sorry i get being addicted to pain killers and stuff but does that mean you have to deal with it when you truely in a lot of pain.they could give you something a bit stronger with no addictive qualities cant they or just watch you carefully. have someone dispense them to you

No I've never been addicted to pain pills , but I have an addictive personality and my Pdoc is my T's dads nurse practitioner so they just watch me...lol

Damn. Slightly hurt right now. My fiancé decided to come with me to my friend's massage studio which I'm supposed to clean today and he asked if they could have some alone time. So i suggested he could go out with her to lunch while I cleaned (normally I'd go with them to lunch and then clean).

I shouldn't feel jealous about that, I know, but I didn't get to see him at all yesterday and he barely gave me any attention this morning. It's understandable that he wants to spend some time with her because she was originally his friend but still why does it have to be without me? (it's not a flirty thing. They're not romantically involved and even if they were, we're non-monogamous so it wouldn't be a problem). He just hasn't seen her in awhile and wants to catch up he said.

I guess I should ask for what I need right? Ask him if we can schedule some time together soon. And meanwhile I'll remember how much he loves me and that he can love me and want to spend time with other people at the same time and that one does not rule out the other... sigh...

He doesn't seem to mind when we don't see each other for several days. And by "not seeing each other" I mean literally. He works late and comes home after I go to bed and I get up and usually have to leave before he's awake. If I want to see him I have to forgo sleep. That's not good for my depression so I choose sleep over seeing him. Which means I don't see him for days. Today I got to see him only because I pushed back this cleaning gig a couple hours. He quickly listened to my update about therapy in the car on the way over here and now he's got to rush off to the office. He won't be back until 2am so I won't see him until tomorrow where I'll get another few minutes only because I don't have to work and can be there when he wakes up at noon. Every day this is our schedule except for Sunday. I guess it's pretty minor and I shouldn't complain but I wish I had someone to spend more time with me. If not him, someone else.

(gosh hope I didn't just kill this thread! Lol)

I have news though! I just kinda sorta got a job offer but it's in another city 45 minutes away. I don't drive much and I don't own a car. They must really want me though because they said theres a possibility of them leasing a car for me!! Omg! Omg! Omg!!! I'm sooooo happy but damn commuting suuuucks!! And I would have to drive every day.

That's cool Lilly.

I just found out something. 3 expresso martini's are way better than 1 t. who needs him? cheers.

Lc -sorry about the ear infection. They really hurt. I have had a lot of them and never gotten pain meds. And I am not addictive inclined. I never thought about getting them.

Wikkid- you go girl. Hope you are not hungover or throwing up later. Don't drive.

So this afternoon in session, my T took two phone calls. They were both from her kid. I can understand that this happens and I tried to be patient because it was her child. Each call was less than a minute (and it was not an emergency) but she didnt add any time on to my 50-minute hour. Its not a huge big deal but it kinda pizzed me off. Plus she said some stuff I didnt really want to hear so that didnt help either.

Does your T take phone calls in session?

okely dokely stopity doggety. No driving. I promise.

SeaSalt...nope...t never took calls, he checked messages though.

Well, I hope she doesnt make a habit of it, dammit. I am one of those "runners." When things get tough, I wanna run.

LOL @ Wikid

@ Seasalt I think that's only happened to me once. If it became a habit I'd say that's certainly not a sign of a good T.

Yeah Lilly, I agree. I will give her a break this time. I was thinking she may give me a few extra minutes since I cant see her again till early July. But she didnt. lol, the honeymoon is over. No way I will love her now...

Actually, I have! I think it's going to happen soon. Working on being less resistant.

Not current T; she gets upset when it beeps for a text and apologizes all over herself ("I'm sorry, I really thought I turned it off, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry.") while rushing over to turn it off.

My second T took calls during session if it was her kid or the babysitter. I never minded because it didn't happen often and she actually didn't finish sessions until the work was done. Meant sometimes you had to wait 30 minutes, but she would give the same consideration to everyone.

Although I think it could possibly disrupt the flow of things, I could live with T taking calls like this if it was minimal. As long as she made up for it. She didnt seem to think about that today. Hmmmmm. Well, thanks everyone. I think I am being too sensitive.

Hi Everyone - Thanks for the support. Today has been surreal for me. It's a fairly tight-knit community and lots of people are grieving today. Another person in our office was very good friends the volunteer's wife. So sad.

Then I had a really odd session with t. Normally I can come home and process fairly quickly. Today I just went to store after store, wandering around. For most of the session I felt like a scolded child. T wasn't really scolding me, but that's where I went emotionally. I may just go to bed and hide under the covers.

Lola - I hope your ear is feeling better. Ear infections are so painful!
Chopin - I am going to have to reread your posts. T basically told me not to be so controlling of what I said in session. Ugh.

Ok so I saw this earlier and you can say , I need to mind my own bees wax....but you have an open relationship? Does it work? If so how long has it work?

I think it works about as well as any other relationship. Takes a lot of open, honest communication and a lot of trust but so does a monogamous relationship. We've been together for over two years. We're supposed to get married in December but my health issues have put those plans on hold for now. I'm not into wedding planning on my best days, not to mention thinking about it while suffering major depression. Maybe we'll just elope one day.

Good morning PC peeps. I have a little headache this morning ... now I remember why I never drink. It did feel good to "feel good" for a bit though.

Wiki - a little of that activity occurred at my house last night also. It does feel good to "feel good" for awhile. Mine was followed by a horrible night of insomnia. (Usually the alcohol puts me to sleep). So...I am breaking my 1 cup of coffee rule this morning.

i just feel so miserable this morning. i just keep hoping that things will get better but it isn't. i hate it.waking up like this and taking forever to just relax and be able to just get on with my day.the stomach always turning thoughts i don't want racing through my head.i just hate the world today and i don't even know why.any way just wanted to get that out .I'm sorry.ill try and behave myself here.

awww Granite. Mind stuff is yucky.

granite, I know exactly what you mean. My stomach had just began to calm down and after yesterday's session I am back to waking up in the middle of the night, thoughts racing, making myself sick with guilt. All these emotions racing toward me.

T seemed somewhat cold yesterday. I am just not sure I am going to get out of her what I need. She does toss stuff out there for me to absorb but I guess I need it done a little more gentle or something. I sound like a big baby. But I am soooooo sensitive. My feelings get hurt so easy. I feel I am a text-book case for being highly sensitive but she has not even mentioned it. I know there will be times I need to be "disciplined" so to speak, but also I need a bit of tenderness sometimes too. I dont know what to do... ugh.

There must have been something about t sessions yesterday. My t dropped a few bombs on me: "I (T) don't know if this is helping you anymore" and "I (T) feel like I carry all the responsibility in this relationship." WTF! I am so angry with her right now. I cried most of the night. I am pretty sure we've had our first rupture.

SeaSalt - I think I am also highly sensitive, but my t has never mentioned it either. It frustrates me. I don't bring it up because lately I've felt like t's been lecturing me. I just don't want to deal with a lecture on sensitivity.

@SeaSalt you sound so much like me! Did your teachers always tell you when you were growing up that you were "too sensitive" and you shouldn't take everything so personally? lol... I got that a LOT!

I feel pretty fine today. My head is still spinning from this job offer. I'm so flattered that they would actually possibly buy me a car so I can make the commute! It's not practical though. I don't want a car and I don't want an hour and a half commute each way. It would mean 12 hour days for me. Could take the train though... maybe for the short term I should do it?

I'm feeling rebellious and reading Thomas Szasz today. Backup T said I would like him. He's famous for saying mental illness is a myth, psychiatry is quackery and talk therapy ministry for the non-religious. I like Backup T for this. He seems to not take any of this too seriously. I think that's a healthy perspective for me to hear right now.