[rosie89]

So my career has necessitated a move across the country. Away from my therapist and everything I've come to be familiar with. And I am utterly terrified. I don't know what to do, what to expect. When my therapist said today that we should prepare for the probability that we will never see each other again, I sobbed. We'd spent half an hour discussing all the ways that I've been screwed over by my rape and I was completely dry-eyed. It wasn't until he said that we were most likely going to say goodbye forever that I broke down. I don't know what to do about this. Truth be told, the only thing that is holding me here is my love for the state I'm in and my therapist. My therapist being the mainstay. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with this. If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful.

[Ria_13]

Hi Rosie, my heart is breaking for you right now. This must be such an incredibly difficult situation and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. While it may be true that you won't be seeing your T for a while after you move, nothing has to be forever if you don't want it to be. It can always be "I'll see you later" instead of "Goodbye." Bring this up with your T, and ask him (if you would want this, of course) if you ever came back to this city to visit, could you maybe pop in to say hello or something? Just remember to look for a new T in your new city, and know that it'll be hard to start seeing this new T at first, but that things can and will get better. Sorry if this advice isn't very good.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by rosie89

So my career has necessitated a move across the country. Away from my therapist and everything I've come to be familiar with. And I am utterly terrified. I don't know what to do, what to expect. When my therapist said today that we should prepare for the probability that we will never see each other again, I sobbed. We'd spent half an hour discussing all the ways that I've been screwed over by my rape and I was completely dry-eyed. It wasn't until he said that we were most likely going to say goodbye forever that I broke down. I don't know what to do about this. Truth be told, the only thing that is holding me here is my love for the state I'm in and my therapist. My therapist being the mainstay. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with this. If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful.

Is it possible that your happiness is more important than your career?

Once I realised that I didn't have to fight my way to the top, and didn't have to earn the highest possible salary, I felt quite a lot better about my choices.

If someone offered me twice the money but I had to leave my home, my friends and my T, I don't know if I would take it.

[WikidPissah]

(((Rosie))) This sounds horrible...I would be terrified as well. It is a lot to go thru, moving in itself is stressful, add leaving your T and that puts it over the top. Remember that it will get easier in time. Try and find a new T right away....interview dozens to find a match....that will help you with the loneliness.
Also, remember wherever you are you can keep in touch with us here on PC and find support when you need it.

[Fixated]

Keep talking about it with your T. Let him know you have reservations.

What a dilemma though. It is hard when things come out of the blue. And for you, your life is literally being turned upside down.

I'm sorry. I don't have the words to be eloquent, but I heard you and I hope you can find peace.

This is so hard. You are going to get a lot of support and advice about this here. I can only say that I have been in your position, and leaving my t was simply out of the question. Fortunately, my t was willing to do distance therapy with me. We started out talking on the phone, and then moved to Skype. It was not perfect- I miss being in a room with her- and I know many people here who wouldn't even consider it. However, it worked well for me and I was touched that my t was open to staying with me.

I recently started seeing new local t, but if it doesn't work out with her, I know my old t is just a phone call away.

[likelife]

I definitely feel for you. It's so difficult to contemplate leaving someone to whom you've become so attached, even if it's for a "good" reason (like a better job).

I've moved away from several T's, and really struggled with moving away from the one I saw just before moving the location I'm currently in. I kept up phone sessions for a couple of months, which was helpful in transitioning. I'm not going to lie and say it was easy, but it was eventually bearable.

All the best to you in this transition period.

Originally Posted by rosie89

So my career has necessitated a move across the country. Away from my therapist and everything I've come to be familiar with. And I am utterly terrified. I don't know what to do, what to expect. When my therapist said today that we should prepare for the probability that we will never see each other again, I sobbed. We'd spent half an hour discussing all the ways that I've been screwed over by my rape and I was completely dry-eyed. It wasn't until he said that we were most likely going to say goodbye forever that I broke down. I don't know what to do about this. Truth be told, the only thing that is holding me here is my love for the state I'm in and my therapist. My therapist being the mainstay. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with this. If anyone has any advice I'd be so grateful.

Would your T consider Skype or Phone sessions? Maybe until you can find another T in your new state?

[critterlady]

Is there any possibility of changing employers to allow you to stay in the state you love?

I understand that feeling when faced with the prospect of leaving your T. I'm in grad school for a master's and should be finishing up this summer or fall. Now I'm looking for funding for a PhD, in part because I want to stay here and keep working with my T. There are other reasons, too, but that one is a big factor for me.

Of course, if I do a PhD I'll be at least 57 by the time I'm done, but what the heck!