staying unhappy?

SpiritRunner · May 11, 2012, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

I believe there are times when it is more satisfying to curse the darkness than to light a candle. Sometimes you want the cursing. And then sometimes you just want the light.

I think is accurate! Especially for me. Sometimes you need to do both too ... curse the darkness and then turn toward the light.

ECHOES · May 12, 2012, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

we are curious-does anyone else ever just stay unhappy because they dont feel like doing anything to change it? and this next part is speaking ONLY for us and our own experiences,so please know it is not directed at anyone else
sometimes,although not very often,we will just stay wallowing in our own self-pity because the thought of actually pushing ourselves to motivate or do something to counter or alleviate the sadness,depression or unhappiness is too much of an effort. sometimes we get angry when others suggest,helpfully,that maybe doing such and such will help. sometimes we just prefer to stay stuck. and yet we usually end up asking ourselves-whats the payoff? will we get more attention-negative or otherwise? will we get more sympathy? more ego stroking? we are taking a chance and being totally open here so please,no attacking. thanks and looking forward to reading the replies♥

I think the bigger questions are "What is the risk?" (of doing something, of changing) and "What is the fear?" that is associated with and is the obstacle to changing. I think we are all mostly stuck in fear that needs to be defined, explored, worked through.

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sconnie892 · May 12, 2012, 08:08 AM

TD - I understand this feeling. There are some days it just doesn't seem worth the effort. As I told my t the ups and downs are exhausting. Sometimes I feel like it's just easier to stay in the downs than to exert the effort to get out of them. Or if I am up I constantly wonder when the next down is coming. I don't enjoy the up at all. But there are times that I do enjoy the up. T told me to hold on to those. To try to acknowledge the little things and build on them. I am trying but sometimes it is just so hard.

May 12, 2012, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

we are curious-does anyone else ever just stay unhappy because they dont feel like doing anything to change it? and this next part is speaking ONLY for us and our own experiences,so please know it is not directed at anyone else
sometimes,although not very often,we will just stay wallowing in our own self-pity because the thought of actually pushing ourselves to motivate or do something to counter or alleviate the sadness,depression or unhappiness is too much of an effort. sometimes we get angry when others suggest,helpfully,that maybe doing such and such will help. sometimes we just prefer to stay stuck. and yet we usually end up asking ourselves-whats the payoff? will we get more attention-negative or otherwise? will we get more sympathy? more ego stroking? we are taking a chance and being totally open here so please,no attacking. thanks and looking forward to reading the replies♥

Excellent post! I feel that way alot. I think once uPon a time it was about getting comfort from others. But that mutated to being the only way I could get comfort from myself. I'd lost ability, or rather had the ability to self soothe taken from me, denied me.

Now it's like a safety blanket and the fear of loosing what took many yrs to aquire isn't something that is easily changed.

May 12, 2012, 12:48 PM

it is so hard to do anything when i am in the depths of depression. it is like it takes every bit of energy just to breathe.

and it is hard to see that damn "pin point of light" and even when i can see it, it seems soo hard to get there.
being unhappy takes up so much energy, but fighting it requires more energy. constantly searching for the magical solution.

t is really into exercise, i got a dog recently and that is one thing that has got me out of the house and walking.

May 12, 2012, 06:11 PM

really really really BAD BAD day

KazzaX · May 12, 2012, 06:25 PM

I have found that it is actually easier to do things to be positive than it is to stay depressed. MUCH easier. However for me they do not end up helping at all, so eventually I stop them.