[seventyeight]

i've been trying lately to insert a little humor into my therapy sessions, as a few weeks ago i unintentionally made my therapist bust out laughing and it made me feel really good.

so today i was talking (unrelatedly) about how i haven't been looking forward to coming to session lately, and she asked why that might be the case. i gave a few answers, and then said, "plus i somehow i have to keep you entertained for 45 minutes.." and she was like . it was obvious i was joking, but she seemed to take offense - or at least, she didn't seem to find it funny at all.

do any of you all "joke" around in therapy? how does it go? sometimes i'm really tired of droning on about my problems, and just want to lighten the mood! and like i said before, it feels really good to make my therapist laugh.

[WikidPissah]

I make a lot of sarcastic comments and T laughs a lot. It's a defense mechanism for me, a shield.

[pbutton]

T and I laugh quite a bit. He burst out laughing once and it scared the crap out of me because he is usually so quiet.

I am fairly certain that if I had said "and I have to keep you entertained" my T would start telling me that my therapy isn't about him and how he wants to see all of my feelings blah blah blah.

He smiles at most of my humor and he laughs sometimes, but there's a certain type of self-depreciating humor that makes him stop and totally get all therapist-ish with me. It is weird to encounter it. I've learned what I can't joke about with him. It's so odd to have someone not even laugh politely.

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

I make a lot of sarcastic comments and T laughs a lot. It's a defense mechanism for me, a shield.

Same for me

[seventyeight]

I am fairly certain that if I had said "and I have to keep you entertained" my T would start telling me that my therapy isn't about him and how he wants to see all of my feelings blah blah blah.

pbutton, do you think my joke was inappropriate?

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by seventyeight

pbutton, do you think my joke was inappropriate?

No, not at all. I do think it's the kind of thing T's won't laugh at though.

I am trying to remember the things my T hasn't laughed at. I was thinking maybe we could put a name to that particular type of humor. I am having a hard time remembering though. Probably because it was uncomfortable.

[rainboots87]

My T inserts humor more than I do. She has this amazing ability to make me smile or even laugh when I'm sharing even the deepest, most painful stuff. I find it fascinating that she can do that and lighten to mood or express a connection without offending me in those times. She's good.

I know I can be funny, but I'm drawing a blank right now abt how I do so in therapy. I do know sometimes I get so anxious and vulnerable that I freeze though. Actually, sometimes her humor helps bring me out of it a little.

[PiperLeigh]

My T is a bit eccentric and makes me laugh. Only sometimes I think I might smile or laugh when he isn't trying to be funny. Woops!

[seventyeight]

I do think it's the kind of thing T's won't laugh at though.

i think you're right, although i didn't see it that way before. i think she took offense because it was somehow "about her," and was probably thinking, "don't do me any favors, i don't need entertained."

it's interesting what i think is funny versus what someone (my therapist, in particular) else does. there have been several other things i've said that i didn't think we're all that funny, but have really made her laugh. i guess it's just a specific brand of humor.

My T and I are both VERY sarcastic, so we do tend to banter back an forth, particularly at the beginning of the session. And he knows he can be tacky sometimes with the things he says to me. In fact, he'll say "This is going to sound really tacky, but . . . ." And off he goes. The forewarning is supposed to prepare me for the comment with an odd twist so that I don't take offense, I think. We really do get a kick out of each other.

[SpiritRunner]

T2 is sarcastic too; she told me that some of her friends sometimes think it's too much, but I never found it that way. She wasn't always sarcastic, sometimes it was more droll, sly, slightly acerbic or cynical. It was often in relation to some outrageous cognitive distortion I had and she used the humor to point it out to me, because I took it a lot better if it also made me laugh. Once it didn't, and I said, that was too much; that's not funny .... and she apologized and said she had misread what I could take at that moment. It has always been a lot of fun bantering and sparring with her, though.
She said she thinks humor is important in therapy and can often lighten some of the load or soften some of the sharper points that have to be made. She also thought it was OK to have some fun sometimes, too. And so do I.

[northgirl]

I've been trying to insert more humor lately to show my lighter side, and to make therapy a little less morbid...especially at our termination session I was prodding him to give me what I wanted to which he burst out chuckling and said "I think you know better than that" or when I was sarcastic with him about the "goodbye" process saying "didn't you learn how to construct this (termination) in school?". Otherwise he is absolutely not humorous in session..and though it's not meant to be funny, when he start to tell a story, usually about history, to illustrate a point, I can't help but laugh at how much he seems like a teacher.

I also went to a workshop he taught and was able to witness his lighter side--in a quirky way.

[Mike_J]

I try to joke when ever I can, love to make my therapist laugh. I stole a joke today she didn't get it at first but when she did she really laughted

Me.. "So I had my annual checkup today" (actually did have a checkup I'm fine)

T.. "How is everything"

Me.. "Mostly OK, he was a bit concerned that one of my testicles is a bit larger than the other two"

T.. EYES POPPED WIDE OPEN... "Other two? are you nervous and misspoke?"

Me... couldn't keep a straight face and started to grin

T.... "OH, I was thinking that one being bigger wasn't the BIG PROBLEM"

Both laughing..

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by seventyeight

i think you're right, although i didn't see it that way before. i think she took offense because it was somehow "about her," and was probably thinking, "don't do me any favors, i don't need entertained."

I doubt she was offended. My hunch is that she was probably thinking something along the lines of "she feels she needs to entertain me. Interesting."

[mcl6136]

I am beginning to see my "work" at being humorous as part and parcle of my co-dependency habit...more people pleasing. I feel like a lot of my joking around in therapy is designed to curry favor with my therapist -- and an avoidance tactic.

I'm trying to cut down on my joking around, actually. I don't think it is fostering my progress....

My therapist is more humorous than I am, I'm usually really serious but he can be pretty sarcastic and definitely has a funny side. I get the feeling he's a pretty goofy, fun person. Of course it's all appropriate, though, he's never offended me or made jokes at inappropriate times; in fact he's really good at making me smile or chuckle even if I'm feeling bad.

[critterlady]

My T and I laugh a lot. I don't deliberately set out to amuse him, but apparently I do. I forget what we were talking about yesterday, but at one point he laughed so hard it triggered a coughing fit.

Even in some of my deepest, most difficult sessions, we've found some irony to chuckle at.

t usually laughs once or twice. i always thought he did it to gauge my mood?

sometimes i'll crack a joke but t usually doesn't get it, then i have to explain it.. then it kinda loses the effect... and i'm left feeling stupid

i wish i could laugh more...

[roads]

I'm not a naturally funny person. I have friends who actually are in The Biz of Show, one a successful-enough standup to live off of income--so I know what a natural comic is.

I'm not.

But when I'm connecting with someone it often shows up first through a mutual recognition of our sense of funny things. Language, situations. I've begun to see it as a character trait often close to home, where the truth lies. For me at least. It hasn't led me astray so far. I use it in picking Ts.

[nonamecomestomind]

I am pretty good at being funny in rl and wish it came out more with t. In fact I wish she knew how I am in rl, because I'm way better than I am with her.
I remember early on when she was asking what family members thought about me starting therapy. She asked about my mother (weird since I was 49 at the time) and I said "Oh, she's practically orgasmic about it, she's been waiting for someone in the family to go". That made her laugh.... and I wasn't even trying.
When I email her (only de vez en cuando since she doesn't really like me to), I am very funny.

[healed84]

My T does most of the joking.. like many of you, I am a bit sarcastic, it is a way to ligthen the mood for me. However, T cracks most of the jokes.. I find it refreshing b/c most of his jokes are so.. I don't know the word, maybe dorky.. lol.

[rainbow_rose]

my therapist is HI-larious, imo. we do laugh. in my last session, i reacted in such a way that made her laugh in a way that I'd not seen before and that made me laugh to.

my therapist can be fun and funny.

humor and laughter is such a pleasant form of connection, especially in therapy.

[stopdog]

I like humor with my friends. Not the therapist. I used to play with her but it ended badly for me.

[Wren_]

"plus i somehow i have to keep you entertained for 45 minutes.."

I can imagine my T's response to that; one would have either got the humor if he was on the ball or failing that would have gone for the "is that how it feels to you?" type of response. The other would have rolled with it, agreed that I did have to provide the entertainment and built on that in extreme and amusing ways Humor is a vital part of therapy as far as my experience and I'm thankful for it most of the time

[with or without you]

it's an integral part of my therapy. My T has a very genuine, full, "wheezy" sounding laugh.