talking to t's about other t's

For those of you who have more than one t, do you talk to them about your sessions w the other t? How much? Do they let you vent when you're hurt or angry at one of the t's?

If you have more than one individual therapist, I don't feel that is a good idea. I had an online one I acquired when my regular in-person therapist was away and when she returned, it was awkward having two because one can't be split that way and get therapy to work. My T asked me to get rid of the online one and I did and did not regret it, despite the difficulty and embarrassment in "getting rid of" that T.

If your T's are for different types of therapy, I have had no trouble talking to one about the other but the one I'm talking to won't comment much since it's not their area of expertise. It's not any harder than talking to a therapist about your psychiatrist, or, in my case, my therapist about my group therapists. Therapy is about using sessions and the people in them to help ourselves so I don't know that venting to one therapist about the other helps anything? We need to address the person with whom we have the problem about the problem, not other people, the other people can't do anything for us, it's a different relationship.

not to be too nosy...but what was the difficulty and embarrassment of getting rid of the online T?

I'm trying to fire an online helper right now (some web stuff I'm doing) and I'm finding it exceedingly hard.

Can you pm me if nothing else?

I'm going through a transition period right now where I also have multiple T's but that's because T1 said he felt like he wasn't helping me and I would benefit more from a different type of therapy that he wasn't trained in.

For complicated reasons I didn't believe that I needed that specific type of therapy; I thought I was just being dumped so I found another regular T (T2) and I talked to him about T1 a lot. Well, dammit T2 also recommended the other kind of therapy (called DBT) so now I have finally started with the DBT therapists of which there is one individual T and one group T.

So technically I had 4 T's and yes I talked about T1 with ALL OF THEM because he was a major issue in my life. I have a lot of stuff resolve about that relationship. T2 said the same thing Perna said: there is such a thing as too many therapists. Now T2 is out of the picture and T1 is in the background and I'm working primarily with the DBT therapists.

In answer to your question I think it's fine to talk about your other T's if it's an issue for you. They're all professionals. If you're hurt or angry by something one did, you should tell that one and work it out with them but if you can't when you tell the other one, they can usually help you interpret the events in a different way and I bet they will also tell you you need to talk it out with the one you're hurt/angered by.

Do your T's all know about each other and they're okay with you working with different ones? Was it your idea or theirs that you have multiple T's?

I have 2 T's, different approaches, with different specialties. Each of them come up in the other therapy. My analyst T (T1) wants me to bring anything to discuss, even my other therapy. It also is to help him understand what is happening and monitor for old patterns of my behavior coming up in other relationships. I also talk about T1 to T2 because T2 helps me work on my coping skills and my communication skills. T2 is always very careful to encourage me to discuss all my issues with T1. The idea of T2 came from T1, as T2 has a speciality that T1 does not have.

Sometimes it feels strange though as I do filter what I say to T2 because some things belong only with T1 and I.

I have two Ts as well, both very different specialties. I might be in the minority here, but not only do I bring up whatever needs to be brought up with either, they also communicate regularly to coordinate my treatment plans. I do have two very different focuses so each T has a specific role, but sometimes something comes up and I do talk to one about the other, and vice versa, knowing full well they will communicate with each other, likely sharing what I've said. I really don't care. Having the two of them has saved my life, the fact that they talk just helps me receive the best support possible.

yes. I have more than one treatment provider...I talk with each of them about the others and they all have permission from me to talk together. for me its easier to have every one working on the same page and aware of whats going on with each other and with me. that way I am not being pulled this way and that way with one treatment provider saying do things this way and another telling me different. If I cant be honest and discuss everything including my other treatment providers with one of the treatment providers then they are not worth keeping. therapy should never be about having a client be afraid to talk or have limits on what can be discussed. all that does is cause more stress on the client not help them heal.

having 2 therapists can be tricky in several ways. payment and loyalty are 2 offhand. I tried having 2 but the 2nd one was not happy that I didn't tell her about the first one when I initially contacted her to be my therapist. the first one was for a particular type of therapy however she is out of state and I need a local one regardless of going to the first. the first one was ok with working with the local one. the first one I really connected to and preferred much more than the 2nd. 2nd one was like don't contact me till you are done with her. so I stayed with the first one for a while till I got into a crisis then had to leave her and go with someone at a nearby agency who I felt took me away from her (only allowed me to have 1 final session with her) and I was upset and felt resentful. only lasted there about 5 months and found my current therapist. I love her just like I loved the out of state one, probably more though as I have been going to her longer. I do talk to her about both good and bad previous therapists that I have had. She helps explain things about why the therapist did what they did so that I understand why that previous therapist did what she shouldn't have.

sorry this is very long. thanks for reading.

hope things work out for those who have 2 therapists. I think the norm is that the therapists would prefer that client was not going to someone in addition to them.

I briefly had 2 therapists when the first one was leaving. He wanted me to be well established with someone before he left, so I started seeing someone he recommended. She was not very happy about seeing me at the same time I was still with T1.

I spoke to T2 about how I felt about T1 leaving, but not about T1 specifically. I did talk to T1 about T2. T1 was happy to talk to me about T2.

T2 didn't work out for me at all. I moved on to my current T and have seen him exclusively.

There was a time when I was seeing two T's. One was providing a therapy my primary T didn't provide, but I also was having some issues with my primary T at the time, and I did end up talking to T2 about T1. I eventually switched Ts. It was completely my decision, T2 did not try to convince me in anyway to switch, but I now see T2 as my primary T, and no longer see T1. Now I just see my primary T and my group Ts for DBT.

I have two. They do not know about each other. It does not seem to be a problem. I have not had any urges to discuss either of them with the other.

At first I thought 2 T's, that's not a good idea......then I realized I had 2 T's at the same time, a couple of times in the past. The first one was when I was in the medical hospital....one that didn't have a psych ward but I was in for medical reasons for the anorexia & it was my medical Dr that had me in the hospital. He got the hospital's pdoc & psychologist to come in & see me daily all the time I was in there....because I had also just gone through a trauma & my mom was dying of cancer & I was just falling apart & my own psychologist didn't have privileges at that hospital neither did my pdoc.....but I would also talk with my own psychologist on the phone. I really related better to the psychologist from the hospital than my own which was a bit of a strange feeling especially when I finally got out of the hospital my own psychologist was having major back surgery.

Also after moving across the country to KY after I left my husband, I started seeing a new psychologist here & they had this program where they had a T come out to your house if you were having other issues, so that your psychologist could work on the more serious issues in the office. Again, they were 2 separate areas of issues, but they coordinated what they were talking about & shared information....so it was a good solid treatment plan.

Now, we have our group DBT with a psychologist that's the leader of the group through the same office group that my psychologist practices in.....they all know each other. I don't talk about the group leader with my psychologist, but we do discuss the DBT & how it gets applied to my life stresses I am working on. I don't discuss what my psychologist says in DBT....we keep the group pretty general.

I did make a comment in DBT one time when I realized what validation was all about.....about a previous psychologist I went to who completely invalidated the trauma I went through.....brushing it off to be the same as what she experienced when the home care person for her mother stole a bottle wine that she had been planning on getting after her mother died. Hmmmmm wasn't sure how that was the same as catching a home care person writing checks, catching her applying for a credit care giving out my mother's ID, or cutting the phone chord or experiencing the home care person calling the police who accused me of abusing my mother when she was the one doing all the abuse.....then the final straw, OD'ing my mother on her morphine.....somehow, that just didn't equate to a home care person stealing a bottle of wine in my book......I didn't waste my money on that psychologist after that.....but she was definitely one that I needed to talk through that experience with my current psychologist who I have definitely come to trust & talk with about most everything that comes to my mind.

I don't actually have any t's now I stopped going to the last one (t8) due to his encouragement to quit or take a break. He did say I could go back but for the most part I feel too much like he doesn't think the stuff I talk about is worth talking about. So I'm thinking about asking a previous t (t9) for an appointment. The two of them know each other. The first thing I think of wanting to talk about with t9 is t8 but I don't know if it's appropriate, and I could think of other ways to focus what I want to talk about. Based on all your replies, I think maybe I'll try to avoid talking about one with the other much. I think it's possible, though it doesn't seem likely atm, that I'd go back to t8 sometime in the future. (BTW, the numbers 8 and 9 are random.)

I thought one of them explained the other one to you?

[QUOTE=learning1;

I thought one of them explained the other one to you?[/QUOTE]

No. The first one I am weirdly unwilling to quit, but the second is better at explaining therapy to me. She does not explain the first therapist to me, just she is more willing to explain therapy itself etc.

Oh, I see

I've talked a bit about previous T's with my current T. I've found it to be helpful in getting my current T to understand what approaches work for me and what don't. I can tell her "T1 wanted me to do that, but she didn't support me once I tried it. I'm willing to try again, but I need support." I've told current T how T1 quit her practice right after I'd revealed some very difficult things to her, and it felt like a total rejection. I've told current T how T2 didn't understand me, or didn't seem to have the skills to help me. Mostly, I talk about previous T's in the context of why I react to my current T the way I do.

I think .. you need to work out what you want from talking to t9 about t8; and also if you really want to return to t8 or not and if so if it's t8 you need to talk to more than t9 about t8
As far as broaching the subject, it's your therapy and they should be able to handle that in a professional manner but t9 can't really tell you what was in t8's head or explain their actions

I've talked to sT about an old therapist I had; and it helped being able to talk but it was also annoying because he made it clear it was my interpretation of what happened and he was only getting my side of things and that he wasn't there at the time so couldn't and wouldn't make any judgements

I talked to mT about the same old therapist and he had no such hesitations