Let me start by saying, Im talking out and out lies.
Ill start,

Im the only T in town who will see you because of your sexuality. (no, everyone will see me except a few tight *** Old Baptist types and they can bite me)

I never dump a client. ( NEVER say NEVER, until now)

Im not mad at you. ( yes you are you big ole liar... )

I know you have boundary issues so ill consult you before changing any
if necessary. (LOLOLOLOLOL, if it sounds too good to be true, email)

Ill be here for you, your safe, you can cry. ( Unless its over something I am done talking about, so you better suck it up or Ill end session early.)

All xT of course.....

Anyone else?

all of the above-minus the sexuality part
"its nothing you did"
"i PROMISE to never ever reject or abandon you"-BULL!!!!!!
gah so incredibly triggered

[Mike_J]

A few my therapist has told me

You are a good person

Your life has value

You will be OK

and so on.....

Those aren't up to the lies your therapist told you but at the moment they are very difficult to handle

[mcl6136]

Can we please include "manipulations"? in addition to lies?

*Setting phone to go off repeatedly during session;
*Turning paintings in office upside down;
*Unbuttoning shirt to God-knows-where to see if I'm triggered...Yick!
*Calling me on Saturday morning to re-schedule Tuesday appointment;
*placing provocative books with spines showing on desk

Right back atcha.....These aren't up to the lies that your T told you, but at the moment, they are very difficult to handle.

[Mike_J]

Originally Posted by mcl6136

*Turning paintings in office upside down;
*Unbuttoning shirt to God-knows-where to see if I'm triggered...Yick!
*placing provocative books with spines showing on desk

Turning the paintings upside down, trying to drive a person crazy??
Unbuttoning their shirt that seems a huge ethical issue (though I have to admit I wouldn't mind my therapist doing that)
Provocative books??? what is this person thinking???

I hope you have found a new therapist..

what do therapists get from lying? I'm confused. I have a very healthy well qualified therapist and am bewildered reading these posts.

Originally Posted by Mike_J

A few my therapist has told me

You are a good person

Your life has value

You will be OK

and so on.....

Those aren't up to the lies your therapist told you but at the moment they are very difficult to handle

I'm sorry you feel that "Your life has value" is a lie. I believe that everyone's life has value - even mine.

How is "You will be OK" a lie? Can either of you foretell the future? Wouldn't it be better to believe that at some time you WILL be OK, and work toward it?

[SpiritRunner]

T1 said, I will never leave you ....... She terminated me when I was in the hospital (not completely without warning, but much sooner than she had said she might refer me)
I asked her after one abrupt boundary change to please discuss it with me first the next time and not surprise me by telling me, oh I talked to my supervisor who said...... - it happened more than once more .....
She said one week - no, I won't stop hugging you. The next week - I talked to my supervisor and there will be no more physical contact ever ....
No, I am not really angry anymore. I just wish she had been more careful with me and with her promises (which she really did seem to mean), but she didn't altogether understand her own counter-transference and then situations neither she nor I had anticipated arose.
I don't know if it's always so much that T told lies as T made promises that shouldn't have been made because it wasn't truly possible to keep them 100%.

[WikidPissah]

"you're special to me"
"if you tell me the details you will feel better"
"I will call you later"

(all ex t's)

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

Turning the paintings upside down, trying to drive a person crazy??
Unbuttoning their shirt that seems a huge ethical issue (though I have to admit I wouldn't mind my therapist doing that)
Provocative books??? what is this person thinking???

I hope you have found a new therapist..

I've moved on...but the memories are still very painful.

What a nut job!

When I probed about WHY, this T said that it was because a "mentor" had instructed that therapists all "use themselves" as ways to "move the therapy" if need be.

I'm SO CREEPED out when I think back on all of this....

[karebear1]

mcl6136- that guy was CREEPY. Reading what you wrote really kinda made me ill.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by karebear1

mcl6136- that guy was CREEPY. Reading what you wrote really kinda made me ill.

Writing it makes me ill too. The thought that there is someone out there, perpetrating all of this leaves me feeling nauseated, actually. From time to time, I'll meet someone here in town (fairly small city) who has seen this T and the stories are often the same. Oddly enough, he has a rather large following and some people who defend his tactics. But others react very strongly in the other direction, and act fast. For example, I met someone recently, a gay man who had two or three appointments with this T and quit very promptly. When I asked him why...he said...well that T called me from his home phone on Saturday night and I thought...this is ridiculous! And that was all it took...he quit!

sorry for hijacking. As long-time posters know, this T relationship was very damaging to me...

One of the things I'm currently working on is the ability to discern, decide and act and not look back and second-guess myself when faced with these kinds of people....trusting myself to know..Yes, writing about it makes me feel ill....

Thanks for the support

MCL

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

what do therapists get from lying? I'm confused. I have a very healthy well qualified therapist and am bewildered reading these posts.

I'm glad...not all of them are good, or even ethical.

[WePow]

Even good Ts can lie at times I think. Maybe they don't know they are lying at the time? IDK. My T has canceled apt saying he was under the weather... then two days later when I saw him and asked how he was feeling he told me he had not been sick. If you are going to lie to a client, remember what lie you told them.

[purplelephant]

"You have a special place in my heart."
"We can have a relationship without me hurting you." (meaning a professional one)
"You are the highlight of my day."
"I'm not 'on your parents' side'"
Ugh.

Also not nearly as bad as the majority here. But any lie from someone you trust is hard, right?

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

A few my therapist has told me

You are a good person

Your life has value

You will be OK

and so on.....

Those aren't up to the lies your therapist told you but at the moment they are very difficult to handle

Are you sure these are lies?
What have you done that disqualifies you as a "good person"?

[maggyjo]

One time I wrote an appt down wrong and showed up an hour late. Next appt T says to me, I saw you pull in and I would have talk to you myself, but I had to take somebody back. This means she would have took her next client back 10 min early. Not sure if she is really lying to me, but she never comes out till 5 min after the hour.

Maggy Jo

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

what do therapists get from lying? I'm confused. I have a very healthy well qualified therapist and am bewildered reading these posts.

You seem so much calmer these days. Well done!

[Wren_]

I'm the only one who can understand
You shouldn't tell anyone else these things
You have &&&& wrong with you and I'm the only one who can help you
You can't do homework
You can't watch certain movies, your reaction would be too extreme
You need to leave those 'friends' they aren't good for you
You should talk about %%% and why he upsets you and share what triggers you about him it's the only way to sort this out
You shouldn't be upset when you found out that %%% who we'd spent so much time talking about was actually your brother and you never mentioned it

[Towanda]

I guess I've been lucky. I've been seeing my T for six years and I feel we have a totally honest relationship. I can't think of a single time he has either lied, slanted or stretched the truth. He doesn't manipulate me either. He's very caring and compassionate, and I've always known exactly where I stand with him - I trust him completely - and he's never broken that trust.

He's told me "I care about you" and he's shown it in hundreds of ways through the years. He's said "I'm committed to see you through this - I won't leave you" and he never has - his committment to my healing has never wavered. He's told me "It's safe in here" and he's always respected my boundaries and made me feel safe and protected even when addressing the scary stuff.

No, he's not perfect, but he's never lied to me.

[purplelephant]

tigergirl, that T sounds so controlling. I hope you've found a new one?
I thought Ts weren't supposed to give such direct advice (sounds like orders, ack).
And they certainly shouldn't be so defeatist.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

1. I'm the only one who can understand
2. You shouldn't tell anyone else these things
3. You have &&&& wrong with you and I'm the only one who can help you
4. You can't do homework
5. You can't watch certain movies, your reaction would be too extreme
6. You need to leave those 'friends' they aren't good for you
7. You should talk about %%% and why he upsets you and share what triggers you about him it's the only way to sort this out
8. You shouldn't be upset when you found out that %%% who we'd spent so much time talking about was actually your brother and you never mentioned it

Number 7 could very easily be true.

I can see how the rest would be hurtful and unhelpful.

[Wren_]

Number 7 could very easily be true.

true, that part was; it was the 7 and 8 going together that became a lie or at least felt it

I hope you've found a new one?

not soon enough; but yes - thanks

[Freefall1974]

My T has never lied to me. I cannot imagine that ever happening. I think I would change T's immediately if that happened- if I could ever pick myself up off of the floor

[KazzaX]

* You will get better.
* You are a good person.
* I would never say THAT to you! (about 200 various things)
* That therapist must have been incompetant (later on they go and do/say the same thing).