When I was in a very intense moment in therapy this week, I told my therapist, "I wish you had a bathtub in here!" She looked at me and said, "Do you need to cry?" She didn't hesitate at all in her response. She knows that I cry in the bathtub. I am a confessed tub crier!

I thought about bringing a picture of a bathtub that looks like mine. That way when I feel like I need to cry in a session, maybe seeing that picture will help me? It will take me to that 'safe place' in my bathroom where I can let myself go and feel whatever it is that I need to feel. I may even bring the scented bodywash that I use.

I know this sounds like the dumbest thing ever, but I am serious. Maybe taking a visual like this will help me. Maybe smelling the scent will trigger my senses? It's worth a try.

Have you ever thought about doing something a little odd like this? I hope I am not the only one who thinks up these kinds of off the wall things. Only a person who is in therapy could understand this.

Squiggle... I haven't thought about doing something like that but I do totally understand wanting to cry so bad but not being able to while in therapy.... I would love to be able to shed/share some of the pain that inside but I haven't been able to....

[mortimer]

I've always thought I was a crazy person. That's the only place I would cry when I was a kid, in the bathroom. That's why I'd spend hours in them. They also had locks. I'd even bring toys in there and play. One time I spent all night in there.

Bathrooms are a pretty secure place. I don't think it's stupid if it helps you.

Originally Posted by mortimer

I've always thought I was a crazy person. That's the only place I would cry when I was a kid, in the bathroom. That's why I'd spend hours in them. They also had locks. I'd even bring toys in there and play. One time I spent all night in there.

Bathrooms are a pretty secure place. I don't think it's stupid if it helps you.

OMG...I used to spend hours in the bathroom when i was little...yep..would play and daydream and lots of stuff...only room in my house with a door and a lock...

[CantExplain]

Hi Squiggle!

That's a very clever idea!

Good luck!

[likelife]

I think that's a fantastic idea! I'd say establish safety by any means necessary.

[WikidPissah]

Cool idea, I hope it helps...let us know, ok?

[sconnie892]

Squiggle, I think that's a great idea also.

[healed84]

Hey, anything that makes you feel safe and comfortable is not a bad or silly idea!!

I wanted to bring in my pillow pet as I fidgit , and it also brings me comfort. xT said no, new T said yes and I could even leave it in his office if I want. I think it's a great idea.

[mortimer]

^^^ Why would xT say no? :/

She said it would clutter her office and if she let everyone do it there would be no room for her stuff... She was kinda mean

[mcl6136]

go with it. trust what your senses are telling you.

[bamapsych]

go for it... sounds like a good idea to me too. Don't feel bad about your ideas. Embrace your creativity I think it's cool. Reading your posts have gave me alot of ideas to try in therapy. I too have a very hard time crying in general. It's never happened in therapy, but it's a goal that me and T have set for me. We have even tried to provoke anger/sadness and I still was unable to cry. I identify with your posts so much. We are so alike in so many ways. It's a little bit ironic lol

[WikidPissah]

Just curious Squiggle...did you bring in the photo of a tub? is it helping???

[unaluna]

My T really DOES have a bathtub in his office, as did my recent T/pdoc - they and many T's in this town have their "offices" in condo-apartment bldgs, in studio apts. They don't live there, but it provides them all the amenities - a kitchen and a bath, and they use the dressing room as the waiting room. So if the OP wanted, she could cry in the tub at my T's I assume you'd wear a swimsuit?

[Bmee2]

What a great idea. i not like that room...it never had locks on it. Only front door had lock. But if you feel safe go for it as many have suggested. Please post how it works.

Originally Posted by WikidPissah

Just curious Squiggle...did you bring in the photo of a tub? is it helping???

I never did go through with this idea. To be honest, I totally forgot about it until I ran across this thread today! I did talk with her last week about the need to have a 'barrier' between us. We talked about places in her office where I could sit when I need to 'get away from her and be alone'.

She even said that I could sit in the floor and pull the chairs in front of me if that is what I needed to do. She basically said that whatever I need to do while in session (as long as it is safe) is what I should do. One thing she did require is that I continue to communicate with her. Whether through talking, nodding, writing, etc.......anything to let her know that I was still 'in the moment' and was doing okay.

Since I am out for the summer, I am more flexible to meet her at her office instead of at the church. She told me to take my time on making that decision. She knows that changing locations is hard for me. She knows that the littlest things can trigger me in a session.

I even wrote her a letter last week to remind her of all the little things that can throw me off in a session: lighting, smells, sounds, temperature of the room, etc......I ended that letter with "I know you think I am making excuses for not moving forward and you think all of this nit picky stuff is my way of avoiding my feelings."

She responded that she didn't think that way at all. In fact, she thought what I had written (expressing my needs) was a sign of progress. Really? I almost didn't give that letter to her because I thought it sounded so ridiculous!

[Towanda]

[quote=Readytostop;2315006]Squiggle... I haven't thought about doing something like that but I do totally understand wanting to cry so bad but not being able to while in therapy.... I would love to be able to shed/share some of the pain that inside but I haven't been able to....[/quote]

I know exactly how you feel. This has been an ongoing problem for me throughout six years of therapy. I've dealt with so many horrible, painful issues that have left my throat in a knot, my gut clenched but unable to shed a single tear. What I wouldn't give to be able to cry in therapy and shed some of the emotional pain I've bottled up over the years. I envy people that can, and I don't know what the answer is. I feel very safe with my T - I've been very vulnerable with him. He told me that crying with someone is one of the ultimate acts of vulnerability - maybe I just haven't reached that point yet. Not sure how to either