Today's session ended in emails...

Jun 07, 2012, 06:27 PM

hey there lost, I think you should print out kacey's post and put it on your wall somewhere where you can see it often. that was about the kindest, most encouraging thing I've read all day!

hugs to you!!

Alionka · Jun 07, 2012, 06:39 PM

He sounds like an ethical therapist to me and looks like he really cares for you. Bravo for him

Jun 07, 2012, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kacey2

LMW21,
Yes dear, I can completely understand how the changes are hurtful. Trust me girlfriend I have been down this path before you and it was ugly. Ugly and hard, but a beautiful reward. I hiked the Napali coast this year and it was treacherous at best but the views and experience was nothing short of awesomeness.

This is what t's do that they don't disclose in the beginning. They foster dependence by being there at first, responding to all of our distress like an infant. However, they move real quickly to treating us like a toddler and being the "good enough" parent. Not responding to every cry and encouraging separation.

Now all of you peeps that vomit a little when talking about reparenting therapy just shush because you haven't been there or probably needed it. This is specifically for Lost and she needs this sort of therapy.

Like me, you probably signed on the dotted line not having any clue what you were getting into and what level of dependence you would actually have on this person. Ambush! Surprise! The one thing that sucks totally about this is that in normal development a child gets support for 18+ years actually more like 26 years of significant support and teaching. Therapy is the accelerated version of that. But it all goes back to "good enough."

Your t cares very much for you, it is obvious, he may make some rookie mistakes along the way, my t did and he had 26 years experience before little bomb KC appeared in his office. The fact that he does care so much is the very reason he goofs up. He is whole heartedly hook line and sinker involved in you. There will be this dance of closeness, farness, and changing boundaries as you go along. It is his committment that matters and it is your attachment that will get you through. Try not to fight it so much and act out but make sure you put words on your hurt and disappointment. That will work out so much better, ok? You can do this. This is a good thing even though it is incredibly difficult. You will grow, because I started where you did and I am now a tweener. An ackward tweener that is watching a toddler in therapy struggle like I did. Hugs KC

KC, this is so awesome! it is exactly what my t did. you phrased it perfectly. i have never printed off any post, but would like to print out this, if it is okay with you!!! it is again, awesome just like you!!!!!

rainbow8 · Jun 08, 2012, 11:33 AM

Kacey, I agree!! Your post was great!! I want to keep it too. Thanks very much.

lost, I'm sorry you're having all this trouble now.

About emails. I'm allowed to email as much as I want, but the rule is that my T doesn't answer. (There have been a few exceptions but I don't expect any responses so no expectations). It works for me. I don't know if it would work for you and your T.

For me, it's knowing that my T reads about my feelings and knows what is going on with me after my session. I feel that we're connecting that way, but she doesn't have to respond. I can email her poems, photos, whatever. I do try to limit it to 3 or 4 emails per week, but it all depends on how I feel.

I hope you can work this out. Hang in there and don't be hard on yourself for what you need.

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