Hey PC friends...

I am asking to have my other thread deleted, and once it's gone my message about why I had to have it deleted is gone, so I am posting this and hoping it stays up for a little while at least...(coupied and pasted from the other thread)

This is totally totally totally my fault, but I am going to have to ask to have this thread deleted. I'm sorry The input and thinking out loud and different perspectives are so helpful, but too much information about the specific situation is in here and it makes me uncomfortable.

I take 100% responsibility for telling so many details of the story here in the first place, and I ended up asking to have all of those threads deleted too.

It's just such an uncomfortable and touchy situation for me and it doesn't feel anonymous enough anymore.

I'm sorry

You do whatever you need to do to feel safe and comfortable. We're thinking of you always.

[rainbow_rose]

wish i knew what to say, nightsky.

thinking of you - you always have my support to do you what you need to do to feel safe.

[Nightlight]

I'm sorry it's so hard for you to share what you're going through. I know that probably makes getting the support you need just that much harder. I hope you were able to gain a little big of what you needed. You don't need to apologise. Keep looking after you, and do what you need to do.

[Chopin99]

I understand completely. Do what you need to do for your comfort.

[WePow]

((((Nightsky))))) Oh how I totally understand your point. I also had my thread deleted because I realized I didn't want that level of personal soul information out there. Safe hugs to you! I get it.

[roads]

(((((((nightsky)))))))

The most important thing is feeling safe.
Who among us doesn't understand that?

Roadie

[SpiritRunner]

Nightsky, I'm really sorry.
But I understand too and you have to do what is right for you, for your safety, emotional and otherwise, for your peace and comfort. I really do understand, since it feels like my last couple threads over my current situation have gotten too close to my 'personal soul info' as WePow put it ... not feeling as anonymous as I'd like, feeling more raw than I'd like. Maybe I should have had mine deleted too .....
I didn't really *know* a lot of the story except what I picked up, as it must have happened mostly when I was away from PC, so I felt like I couldn't offer advice relevant to that and I didn't feel like I needed to know the whole backstory anyway. Just was focusing more on what was happening in the present and trying to be supportive in that. You will always always have my respect, love and support, nightsky ... always.

[SallyBrown]

Originally Posted by nightsky

Hey PC friends...

I am asking to have my other thread deleted, and once it's gone my message about why I had to have it deleted is gone, so I am posting this and hoping it stays up for a little while at least...(coupied and pasted from the other thread)

This is totally totally totally my fault, but I am going to have to ask to have this thread deleted. I'm sorry The input and thinking out loud and different perspectives are so helpful, but too much information about the specific situation is in here and it makes me uncomfortable.

I take 100% responsibility for telling so many details of the story here in the first place, and I ended up asking to have all of those threads deleted too.

It's just such an uncomfortable and touchy situation for me and it doesn't feel anonymous enough anymore.

I'm sorry

No need to apologize, nightsky. Do what you need to do and I myself apologize for bringing up details that need to be left out of the forum. (Unintentional, but I'm still sorry.)

Setting aside whatever happened in the past, focusing on just what you have posted recently: what your T has been saying to you and how he has been responding to you remind me of things my H and my T have both done when the following has happened:

1. They did something hurtful that was kind of dumb and kind of foreseeable and really preventable, but
2. I am really quite ready to forgive them, however
3. while they are willing to admit that what they DID was hurtful, they don't want to deal with the consequences of the actual hurt -- whether it's betrayed trust or emotional confusion or adding distance or whatever.

The whole thing would thus become extremely draining for me, as I found myself pushing someone I loved to hear me out about how hurt I was and how that hurt wasn't going to go away without some kind of processing, and that is EXHAUSTING. It would also be surreal and really just very sad because I WANTED it to be resolved, and I was doing everything I could, trying to get them to just listen to me and internalize the things I/we needed to move forward instead of treading water.

I'm also very familiar with the, "Yeah, I guess this is over, so if you want to leave, I won't stop you -- wait don't go I love you!"

So I think I can empathize with a lot of your confusion and bewilderment and sadness and anger and feelings of "WTF?". In a way it doesn't matter what he did or who did what because you're ready to move forward, and you're working really hard, and it seems like he's working really hard -- but working really hard doesn't always mean doing what's best, and I'm not sure he's really doing what's best. It reminds me of what a teacher once told me about studying. "If you study the spelling of 'nice' as 'g-n-i-c-e', you can study that as hard as you want, but you still won't be able to spell 'nice'."

Good luck nightsky

I totally understand.

Wise choice Nightsky.