Emailing T.. Yes or no?

So lately i have been feeling really down. I dont really know why. But i just feel like ending it all. I usually email my T when i need to get something out. I see my T tomorrow...but i always have trouble getting my thoughts out in person.

The thing is im afraid that if i email my T this she will get worried and want hospitalize me.....

So you think i should email or or just try to talk to her tomorrow? I mean i really dont think i will do anything to myself

Either way, if you say something about you wanting to killing or hurt yourself, she will probably think putting you in the hosiptal is best. If it's hard to say it to her, I say email it to her. She may call the cops on you. I'm just saying this from experience. If you feel that it can wait until session, then wait that way there won't be any misunderstandings from the email. Does this make sense? If feel like hurting yourself, you need to tell her ASAP. Is there a crisis line you can call?

I'd go ahead and email. You'll be able to get things out and she'll know right where you are emotionally for your session tomorrow. It can't hurt. I would just explain exactly what you're feeling and thinking and she should know where to go from there. I've shared thought of wanting to die (w/o any kind of plan or intention to carry it out) and she said that it's totally normal and even shared a time she had similar thoughts. She said our brains are looking for a solution to the problem, and for me that's what death was to mine- if I die, then I won't have to figure out my schooling/career stuff or deal with the loneliness, etc. I hope things look up for you soon!

[edit] I just wanted to add that I'm talking about wanting to die NOT suicidal plans, of course

**** TRIGGER for discussion of SI/SU ****

I think that if you're thinking of harming yourself, you need to contact your T. It doesn't automatically mean that she'll want to hospitalize you.

Please contact her tonight. You'll feel better and there really is no need to feel bad for an extra day.

Thanks guys. I emailed her...i hope she doesnt read it tonight. Gosh now im terrified of the cops showing up at my house....or what she will say tomorrow

Sorry you're having such a rough time!

Go with your gut feeling with regard to what you should do - I find that's usually the best option!

Please stay safe - I'll be thinking of you! <3

If they do, just be true to yourself and them. Can you call your T? Please stay and be safe.

See i always plan on being calm...but then i tend to freak out...and be extremely stubborn. Just the thought of the cops coming makes me want to yell scream and run and hide!

Ugh

And i cant call her because i dont have her number....and i have issues with phones

I can so relate. Please be kind to yourself. I hate the cops with passion and when they came to see me, they were jerks. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'm sorry that you don't have your T's number. I think you should talk to her about contact in between sessions when you get a chance to talk to her or at your next session. Can you do that?

i dont know.... im not going to end it, as much as i want to the sane part of me knows its not the answer. Though i did end up self harming... :/

Yes the last time the cop came to see me, he wasn't very nice. He didnt quite understand why i wasn't happy to see him!

I am feeling a little bit better after talking to you guys. Sometimes i just feel so alone

i will try to talk to her about that....but i dont know if i can. I think even if i DID have her number, i still wouldn't call....i feel way more comfortable in person or email

I am glad you can see her soon. Be honest about how you are feeling.

I'm sorry those pigs were jerks to you too. I understand feeling more comfortable in person with T. Can you write down what you want to talk to T about that way when you see her, if you can't bring yourself to tell her want you need to say, you can hand her the letter? I'm glad talking to us helped you feel a little bit better. Keep talking if you must. I'm here for you.

i ended up emailing her everything that was going on in my head....i hope it was the right choice.

Hope i dont have the police here later!

I'm glad that you told her everything. I admire your courage to reach out.

thanks to bad i dont see it as courage..... i always send it and then freak out afterwards and worry until i see her next

To be vulnerable requires courage. Through being vulnerable comes connection. Through connection comes a sense of worth, a healing feeling. A therapeutic effect?

I got in a pretty big fight with my dad, now im even worse then before....its just all to much :/

(((( safe hugs ))))

I'm glad you reached out to T. I hope you are able to get some rest and that your session with T arrives quickly.