[struggling2]

the main point of therapy is for healing right? what does healing look like or feel like? i know its probably different for everyone. it seems like it happens bit by bit from what ive read on here.....but how do you know when you're healing? or what does healing mean to you?

For me healing would mean have quite in my head. The end too my compulsive behaviours.

[unaluna]

more healthy behaviors, less catatonia; to be honest, more activity, less hiding.

What healing entails varies for me depending on what you are talking about.

Healing from my abuse: the evidence seems to be in the memories becoming more neutral over time and the PTSD symptoms diminishing to just about nothing over time for me.

Healing from depression: still working on that one, but I am better able to recognize my mood symptoms earlier than before and have better coping strategies. Not a cure, but some healing there I think.

Healing in my marriage: always a life process, but we've gained better communication skills which has been very healing.

So healing maybe is finding a place of a bit of peace with whatever pains you. I've learned to accept that healing doesn't always mean a total cure, but a sore with a good strong band-aid and neosporin hurts a lot less than an open wound and is much easier to cope with.

[northgirl]

Healing for me is learning to accept the past, forgive myself for the years I regret, choosing the hard path toward hope and healing.

[Towanda]

Healing = emotional regulation, having a sense of self worth, absence of shame, absence of destructive behaviors, ability to embrace childlike qualities, acceptance of all aspects of self, feeling comfortable in my own skin.

I really had no idea what healing would look like when I started therapy. I thought it would be something BIG - like getting an amazing job or leaving my marriage or...??? Just something big.

Instead, it looks like this:
-I'm comfortable with myself, and can show myself gentleness and compassion.
-My PTSD symptoms are greatly reduced...I'm not scared ALL THE TIME that something awful is going to happen.
-I have good friends that I'm not afraid to show my self to - messy parts and all.
-I don't feel like I have to be "perfect" - I can be good enough, and just human.
-I've told the story of my past, and I don't have to use so much energy running away from it anymore. -I don't have to use substances or bad coping skills. It happened, but it's not happening now, and I can usually ground myself if I get triggered - not always, but usually.
-I allow myself to relax and take care of myself.
-I know what it feels like to be loved, and I allow the people around me (my family and friends) to love me instead of pushing them away.

There's so much more, but those are the first things that popped into my head. Healing is so much different and so much better than I expected.

[rainboots87]

When I can have healthy, secure relationships and not blame myself for everything. When I can love myself with all my flaws, instead of tearing myself down, and lead a functional and fulfilling life.

[critterlady]

Originally Posted by northgirl

Healing for me is learning to accept the past, forgive myself for the years I regret, choosing the hard path toward hope and healing.

I think that expresses how I feel very eloquently.

[critterlady]

Originally Posted by rainboots87

When I can have healthy, secure relationships and not blame myself for everything. When I can love myself with all my flaws, instead of tearing myself down, and lead a functional and fulfilling life.

Yep, that too for me.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by earthmamma

For me healing would mean have quite in my head. The end too my compulsive behaviours.

That's what it was for me; it's very nice, the quiet I could never truly imagine life without the behaviors but it feels "natural" now, I have trouble imagining/remembering having had them for 45-50 years!