[rainbow8]

My session was one of those good but not too good ones! I realized I like them better than the intense, triggery sessions where I feel too much about my T. Why it was okay this time I'm not sure. My guess is because we were not going into the past, we didn't do EMDR, and the child parts weren't present. That's good to know. I think the needy child wants my T to take care of her, and that gets mixed up with adult needs (my first T told me that also), which leads to those "too good" feelings, which are more frustrated feelings than "too good".

T explained more about the Self, and how she's still trying to build up my self energy so that I don't need it to be "about her". She told me what her meeting was, and then we discussed why it bothered me not to know. I talked about my threads here, and how I get upset when people have different opinions from me, and I question what I believe because I don't have enough confidence to stick with my opinion. I'm easily swayed, and I usually think the other person is right, and I'm wrong. At the same time, I get defensive.

We talked about how I can get those "good feelings" I want from my Self and from other people, and how I'm trying with my H, but it's not working yet.

I told her about seeing her on linkedin and how I immediately got into my obsessive, triggery thinking about her. Then, with MUE's suggestion, how I used CBT to change my thoughts and therefore my feelings. T liked that, how I reframed and how my Self could lead the part, instead of letting her take over.

The best thing about the session is that T asked who said it is the "new therapy"? I said that I did. She insists she is not changing anything except for having me open my eyes during EMDR. So, I said we are, but I didn't disagree too strongly since she reassured me we're not.

She asked if I come on this site every night. I said yes, and didn't tell her it's more than at night. She thinks it might be getting to be an addiction. I agree but don't think it's something I want to cut down on yet.

We talked about my eating, which is something I've never brought up before because she's so thin. I told her she wouldn't understand, but she said she understands if I eat for comfort. I also said I like food!

All in all, I had a good session. Not too heavy, but I feel it was productive and what I needed. I wasn't angry and I didn't cry in the car.

[Mike_J]

I'm glad you had a good session.

I love hearing stories about good sessions...

[WePow]

It sounds like you had a very honest session. That is not always an easy thing to do. Good job!

[WikidPissah]

awesome Rainbow. I am glad it was good.

Yay!!! good news

[Wren_]

that sounds good rainbow

i wonder why she thinks it's an addiction because you come on here? doing something regularly can be done without it being an addiction

I totally hear you about the eating side of things; how do you tell someone anything connected with that when it so obviously isn't an issue for them

[2ofme]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

We talked about my eating, which is something I've never brought up before because she's so thin. I told her she wouldn't understand, but she said she understands if I eat for comfort. I also said I like food!

)

Sorry to pick this point out of the whole thing - but just wondering if you dont mind me asking - are you overweight?

Im just asking because I am & my weight is always ballooning and then I will lose a bit and then it continues in a cycle. Some is medication weight but a lot was comfort eating etc but Im never brave enough to bring it up with my T - who is really thin. Its a big shame issue for me - good on u for bringing it up.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

that sounds good rainbow

i wonder why she thinks it's an addiction because you come on here? doing something regularly can be done without it being an addiction

I totally hear you about the eating side of things; how do you tell someone anything connected with that when it so obviously isn't an issue for them

I told my T that I thought I was somewhat addicted to the forums and she agreed. I said it because I feel like I have to talk about my therapy here. If I start a thread, I keep checking for replies. If a couple of days go by and I don't start a thread, I feel compelled to do it. I like to answer and help people too, but there's something addictive for me about creating a thread and getting replies. It's sort of similar to why I can't quit therapy. It gives me intensity, connection, warm feelings to the extent that I get upset if I can't get those things. It feels to me like an addiction.

Regarding eating issues, I suppose it's like any other issue we have. Our Ts don't have to have the same issue in order to help us. They usually don't. It's my problem of feeling embarrassed because I'm overweight and she's skinny.

Originally Posted by 2ofme

Sorry to pick this point out of the whole thing - but just wondering if you dont mind me asking - are you overweight?

Im just asking because I am & my weight is always ballooning and then I will lose a bit and then it continues in a cycle. Some is medication weight but a lot was comfort eating etc but Im never brave enough to bring it up with my T - who is really thin. Its a big shame issue for me - good on u for bringing it up.

Yes, I'm overweight but I don't have an ED. I would like to be thinner, and did lose 25 pounds about a year ago, but I gained it back. I've never had a T who was so thin, and I've asked her if she's okay, and she's said yes. I believe her. But I guess it is a shame issue for me too. After 2 years, I finally talked a little about my eating habits. I don't know if she can help me, but maybe she can. It's worth it to discuss comfort eating with your T. I think you can do it if I can!