Okay... I hear people talk about intrusive thoughts but I don't really understand what that means.... is it memories or bits of memories or just your mind telling you evil things?

In session this week, my T and I were talking about making friends and I said that I didn't know why anyone would want to be friends with me unless I could do something for them... T went off in another direction but in my head I was having this different conversation and I told myself why no one would want to be friends with me.... because you are a "worthless piece of sh_t".. but its not a phrase that I have ever remember hearing (although I have dissociative amnesia for parts of my childhood) or ever using... and its a phrase that has been stuck in my head since Thursday... Yet somehow it seems so familiar... so right when I hear it..

Could this just be me remembering something? or is this what people refer to as intrusive thoughts?

[unaluna]

I didn't realize I had intrusive thoughts until I read LIVING WITHOUT Ed by Jennie Schaefer, and I was amazed at how much her "Ed", as she calls "him", sounded exactly like my parents, so harsh and negative and demeaning, and that was the voice I was listening to all day, every day. But her book showed me it wasn't MY voice, and somehow that made a difference.

[SoupDragon]

I think it can be both - memories can be intrusive as can other thoughts that just pop up which aren't a memory of an event / experience.

For me there's the critical parent aspect where I have internalised my mothers critical voice. And then there's the walking along the street and the sudden thought I want to throw myself under a bus kind of intrusive thought.

[tkdgirl]

Similar to Hankster and Earthmamma, when I was telling my T I could hear all the crap my dad use to say to me in my head she called that an intrusive thought. I guess from what I understand it involuntary and repetitive. I don't think it has to be evil though.

[ListenMoreTalkLess]

I usually don't have auditory memories, in fact most of my memories are like silent movies. Trying to recapture some of the WORDS in my experiences has been something that's been important for me.

My memories are usually visual (occasionally smell, or strong feelings, or all of the above). Most commonly, it feels to me snapshots of past events are moving in front of my face, sometimes slowly, sometimes more rapidly.

To me, there's a small difference between a memory and a thought. A memory is usually something that I'm trying to work out, there is more conscious deliberation in a memory. A thought is just fleeting, and what makes it intrusive is when I don't want to be thinking about (usually a memory) but it dogs me anyway-- when I'm doing the dishes, watering the garden, reading, etc. It's actually also a symptom of PTSD. A flashback is a memory that comes back and makes you feel like you're back in the trauma right then. Usually my flashbacks are visual followed by intense feelings, sometimes panic.

[Perna]

I think it is just a normal thought; lots of people here and in general use that phrase I think, talking about themselves; wpos :-) is in the urban dictionary even and if you Google it you get pages and pages of hits.

That you were thinking about it instead of listening to what your T was talking about is normal too I think, it was just more compelling to you to explore your negative feeling than change subjects at that time.

What I do when I have thoughts like that about myself is point out to myself how "lame" and vague the argument is. There's no examples, no proof, and the entire argument is based on the ethereal unknown groups of people, like "society" and not on anyone specific.

I would be your friend, because I like you. You would not have to "do" anything for me because I would just enjoy your company, sense of humor, quiet mannerisms perhaps. Who you are is not about what you do.

What you do just helps people (sometimes really dense people who can't appreciate another without props of "things" they have done) confirm their opinion of why they like you. Think about it; if I like your sense of humor, you might just laugh at all my jokes, even the lame ones, and show me you enjoy me too. You might tell good jokes or have a way of putting things when we talk that is amusing to me. None of those things are you consciously doing something for me? They are just you being you.

I have problems with smells triggering very strong emotions, and I have no memories actually associated with the smell that would explain. So it's like an intrusive emotion rather than a thought.

In reference to intrusive thoughts, I also find myself calling myself certain things, and certain names with no specific memories of being called that. And it does seem completely familiar and "right." I can remember calling myself a ***** inside my head as early as kindergarten. Pretty sure the only way I would know to call myself that is if someone else called me that first, but I don't remember ever being called that at that age. Later, my mother called me that all the time.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Okay... I hear people talk about intrusive thoughts but I don't really understand what that means.... is it memories or bits of memories or just your mind telling you evil things?

In session this week, my T and I were talking about making friends and I said that I didn't know why anyone would want to be friends with me unless I could do something for them... T went off in another direction but in my head I was having this different conversation and I told myself why no one would want to be friends with me.... because you are a "worthless piece of sh_t".. but its not a phrase that I have ever remember hearing (although I have dissociative amnesia for parts of my childhood) or ever using... and its a phrase that has been stuck in my head since Thursday... Yet somehow it seems so familiar... so right when I hear it..

Could this just be me remembering something? or is this what people refer to as intrusive thoughts?

if you are here where I live and work and the mental community believes what they do here where I live and work then no thants not what we believe here to be intrusive thoughts.. here we believe thats having an internal dialogue with yourself. people do that all the time even normal people..

an example of an intrusive thought is like right now Im reading posts here on Psych central. I read a post about DID but my head is thinking about an arguement I had with one of my parents some yrs ago..

the arguement my parents and I had, had nothing to do with my being DID, nothing in common with the post I read. my head just reverted to that annoying conversation out of the blue..

another example of an intrusive thought

this morning I was at my desk at the crisis center. the phone rang and I was talking with a victim of abuse but somewhere int he conversation my head went back to my wife telling me we were out of milk and could I pick some up if I happened to go past the store. the milk, the store and my wife had nothing to do with the conversation with the phone call and victim.. it just "intruded" where it didnt belong. it interrupted my thoughts, conversation and helping the client on the phone.

these are mild examples.

more major examples would be my having an intimate moment with my wife and my head starts thinking about something that happened yrs before I met my wife. my wife didnt abuse me and wasnt even around when i was abused but sometimes during intimate moments thoughts of the past intrudes upon what Im trying to do here in the present.

[WikidPissah]

The intrusive thoughts I have are not old memories of things said to me. I know my parents didn't say this stuff to me. They are loud thoughts/commands that make me buckle under. Like my brain screaming at me.

There is a list of normal intrusive thoughts I found on the web:

[kaliope]

Readytostop.....why not throw cognitive distortions into the mix...beliefs... what you talk about is very familiar to me. I too believe that nobody wants me around except for what I do for them..or i did anyway.. now i understand that i am just an awesome person to be in anybody's life but before i believed that i was worthless and deserved to die, why? because i wasnt perfect. and i had to be perfect in order to be loved. a message i picked up from that wonderful childhood i dont remember. but now that i have disconnected from that and become my own person, i understand how good of a person i am i dont need to listen to those messages any more. i know the people in my life love me. i have left behind those from that other world. i dont need to please them anymore. i just need to work for my own happiness and joy. i surround myself with good people today, ones that bring me joy and satisfaction and positive feedback. ive weeded out the garbage. you can too.