oh no...i walked away

yikes. What a whirlwind of a mess and MCL trapped in the middle. I am sorry this r/s didn't work out well for you, it's heartbreaking. So totally not your fault that you guessed something, and how were you supposed to know that t would respond so poorly. ugh.

Thanks...i am internalizing all of this and it feels like i swallowed a rotten...well who knows what. I just freaked out after t handled it badly and in a sense it has made my original problem that i took to the cold distant t much much worse. And to add to the mix i feel as though some people dont get this and minimize it..i.e. you are just a good guesser...i want to say..no, i was not guessing and did not mean to bring out personal info regarding t and get treated like an errant child for doing so..and other people lash put when intuition is right on. Now my t has shown me how unacceptable i am, on some level. I know i am making this stress worse by overthinking it, but i am pretty unhinged. Dont know what to do. Dont feel like i can go back. Dont want to search again in my small town in a super backwards part of rural u.s. i feel stuck and right now...pc is my virtual place of real support...blessings...mcl

I could be misreading the situation, but it sounds like your T/coach was taken by surprise. I value intuition about as much as I value anything, but I'm not sure therapy is the place for it. Therapy is supposed to be about you, not about your T. If you are seeking recognition for your intuition through therapy, that might just not fit, if you know what I mean. Kind of like if you were to go to the bowling alley to play softball, people might just freak when you start swinging a bat around.

Sorry this is going on for you. It sounds very rough.

Even to tell the T how badly she handled this, or how badly the whole thing affected you, and tell her honestly how this affects the whole therapy? That is, not necessarily with the idea that this will make things OK, but just to let her know, and not run from letting her know? And then using how she reacts to decide what to do next?

I can't remember. Is this life coach an actual certified therapist, or is this someone who hung out a shingle so to speak? I don't know much about the whole life coaching thing. I would think a life coach not really trained in psychotherapy but dabbling in psychotherapy could really be wrought with problems. (Sorry if I'm completely off base on this; I really can't remember the whole story.)

dabbling it is! Or was, I should say....yick..this all feels really awful.

Good for cleaning out the garage, bad for dealing with inter or intra personal relationships.

I really don't know if I should have a "last" appt or not. Now that the garage is clean, I mean!

HUH??? Who says I'm seeking recognition of my intuition???? And if I HAD wanted to discuss my intution, wouldn't that me about me? I certainly did not intend to discuss something personal about my t...and in fact I made it quite clear that I blurted this out...much to my dismay.

I do agree, however, with your very insightful idea that "I was going into the bowling alley to play softball ...." in terms of seeing a LIFE COACH (where I was making much progress with the mundane but sometimes overwhelming issues of financial problems and clutter and job stress AND DEALING WITH SOMETHING LIKE INTUITION. That's where the fit was really bad...but I did not intend to do this. I feel like it was a wrong turn, but the way that the T handled it was so closed and ridiculous and shaming that everything just went to ....Hades, and now I am still sorting things out.

So...thanks for your reply...much food for thought.

MCL

yeah I am kinda tempted to do that....but you know? I'm kinda cheap and don't know if I want to pay (out of pocket) for another session just to get clear with T.

Because I live in a small town, and run into people all the time, it might be best, but I don't think I have a lot left to learn here.

Gah....that puts me in the position of...another T or taking a break. And frankly the break sounds kinda tempting.

Maybe one place to start then is to stop calling this person a T and remember that was never what it was, thus probably the reason for the less-than-professional reaction: this person was not a professional therapist. It was a different approach you wanted to explore. Sometimes our explorations lead where we didn't really intend to be or are entirely fruitless much to our dismay.

mcl6136 - ok so I am a bit confused. You blurted out that you knew something about Coach and she flipped out because..it was true? or it was a secret? or it was over the line? I mean if it were true and nothing you had to research or pay someone to find out then seems to me that Coach didn't do a very good job of hiding it, if in fact they didn't want it known. This makes it their issue, not yours for noticing it. If it talks like a duck and walks like a duck then its probably a duck whether they wanna be recognized as a duck or not. Don't let Coaches reaction to the true and obvious ruin your day or life, sounds like she was caught of guard and panicked-not your thing but Coaches thing.I'm cheap too, what about a phone call about the situation...has this person had time to come to terms with the fact that this knowledge about them is either obvious or not as well hidden as they would have liked?

face-eating zombie?

I was thinking more of you maybe wanting to get clear with yourself...

I totally agree! I was rolling along with my clutter clearing and doing really practical work, with the coach, and that was where my explorations were heading.

I think the bad reaction was because she was never trained to go there to begin with -- however I don't think I should be treated with a lack of respect because she could not handle something that I said in error, apologized for.....and cannot exactly retract.. that's her s#$%t.

I still don't know what to do, however.

I don't think another "appointment" is the answer. Thus...I'm left with ....HUH????

quack quack..quack.....I don't think she could duck the issue, so to speak, and it was something about COACH..which happened many years ago of a personal nature, which I brought up out of the blue during discussion of a job search, and it was majorly out of context. And there was no way that I could have "figured" it out. It was true but not obvious, not at all, and I cannot imagine having a researcher find something like this out....

Perhaps she has come to terms with the fact that at times, I am a gonzo good guesser but her reaction was so uncool that the title of my post....oh no, I walked away should be altered to:

Oh no, I ran away.

oh no.