[twofaces]

Nice to meet you all, I am glad that I found this place before my other me stops me from doing so.

My name is Tony, and I am currently quite distressed about myself in many ways.


Some of these are:

1. Often getting irrational and unable to accept constructive criticism

2. Does not understand social cues and body languages

3. Negative perfectionist in that I'm not good at anything but is obssessed about being dominant.. This has been a serious trouble to me.

4. Feels like everyone is using me.

5. Unable to stand up to myself, too timid.

6. Uncomfortable talking to people

7. Have to think twice, three times if someone tells me to do somethings, and is obssessive of reason why I should do as told. (Often ends up being yelled)

8. So many thoughts at one time, happens quite often. Thoughts expand out of control.

9. Obssessed about how others think about me. Tries to please everyone.

10. Low self-esteem and confidence.

11. Unable to distinquish reality and fantasy sometimes.

12. Demands too much from myself as well as others = unstable friend network.

13. Adult ADHD. Forgets little things constantly, and frequently. Also have trouble remembering what I did short while ago, if I'm under pressure.

14. Unable to control stress and emotion.


Above all, I am extremely distressed and feels almost helpless about myself. Even my parents think that it is not serious, and others just think weird of me.

I'm wondering what kind of therapy, for how long, I should receive for my problems.

As long as I know if there is ANY WAY of improving myself and becoming better, I will set my goal to achieve that no matter what.

Repeating again, the most serious problem is that NO ONE near me thinks that it is a serious problem. Some people even laugh if I say about this.

Thank you all for reading my thread, and I'm glad that I found this place.

Or, and I scored 125 in my sanity score, and it told me that I had 9 serious concerns + mild concerns.

[WikidPissah]

Hi twofaces...welcome to pc.

Sorry you are going thru so much, but I'm glad you've found us. Unfortunately, no one here can tell you what type of therapy you need or how long you need it. That is something different for each individual person. I think you probably could start by finding a therapist or counselor. Are you in school? Have you talked with a guidance counselor or school psychologist? Or maybe you can speak with your primary care doctor about these things.

[autotelica]

What is the one thing about yourself that bothers you the most?

I think therapy could help you, but if it is a deep-seated personality thing, you will need to be prepared for a long commitment. And also ask yourself if you are more concerned about practical problem-solving or getting insight into yourself.

People are generally well-intentioned, but their perceptions are not altogether trustworthy. Some may recognize that you have flaws, but be too polite to come out and admit how bothersome they are.

[Perna]

Hi, Tony. I would go to your doctor and get a full physical checkup, make sure your body is in good shape and you don't have any nutritional or hormonal deficiencies, etc. and tell the doctor about your mental health concerns. He probably has the name of a colleague you could go see to talk to about them. Some of your concerns seem as if they might be some that a testing psychologist could better delineate; maybe you have some learning difficulties which make other things harder, etc. A psychologist that specializes in testing can uncover those, for example, if you cannot connect what you hear and put it into action, your #7, there are specific things they can recommend for that.

http://www.guidetopsychology.com/testing.htm

[SallyBrown]

Tony,

Welcome to PC, I hope you find posting here to be helpful. You'll notice that people don't always just post about therapy itself -- feel free to write more about yourself and your journey and get some support as you figure out the therapy thing.

The thing with asking other people about whether you have a serious problem is that they may not be thinking about how distressing it is for YOU. I used to get a lot of "You seem fine, what do YOU need help with?" from others. But the thing is, the problems I have are distressing to ME, and make MY life harder. In fact, sometimes it's the people who know you well who are least able to see the things that are problematic, because they have seen you function with them for so long. I can see how all of the things you listed would make everyday life needlessly stressful, and I think therapy is a great idea.

It seems like a lot of your problems are related to feeling a strong need to know/control what others think of you, and simultaneously feeling like you can't figure out what others are thinking at all. That's quite a combination. This may seem a little out of nowhere, but how old are you? And which of these problems have been ongoing, and which are recent?

As others have said, none of us can tell you want kind of therapy will be best for you. I'd suggest reading up on different types and approaches to therapy, and picking out a few that resonate with you, then actually meet some therapists who take those approaches.

I mean, as I'm reading your concerns, I start thinking:
- Maybe CBT would help you, in that it's like behavioral training to help you read the social cues of others.
- But maybe more traditional psychotherapy would help, in that you spend more time looking inward and at your childhood, which can lead to a better understanding of where things are going wrong.
- And of psychotherapy methods, maybe a "blank slate" therapist would be good, since you have feelings that others are using you that you can explore by having a therapist who doesn't tell you what he/she is feeling and sees what you come up with.
- But maybe that would be TOO stressful, and a therapist who spends more time giving you feedback about he/she is really feeling would be better for easing your anxiety.
- Then again, given that you have so much trouble with lots of thoughts at once, maybe spending more time and going into more depth with something like psychoanalysis would be worthwhile.

So I can see it many ways. But only you can decide what will ultimately be the most helpful.

Perna gives good advice. Rule out any physical problems, and your doc can get you started with the referral process. You might have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right therapist, but I do think you could really benefit from therapy. Best of luck to you

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by twofaces

Nice to meet you all, I am glad that I found this place before my other me stops me from doing so.

My name is Tony, and I am currently quite distressed about myself in many ways.


Some of these are:

1. Often getting irrational and unable to accept constructive criticism

2. Does not understand social cues and body languages

3. Negative perfectionist in that I'm not good at anything but is obssessed about being dominant.. This has been a serious trouble to me.

4. Feels like everyone is using me.

5. Unable to stand up to myself, too timid.

6. Uncomfortable talking to people

7. Have to think twice, three times if someone tells me to do somethings, and is obssessive of reason why I should do as told. (Often ends up being yelled)

8. So many thoughts at one time, happens quite often. Thoughts expand out of control.

9. Obssessed about how others think about me. Tries to please everyone.

10. Low self-esteem and confidence.

11. Unable to distinquish reality and fantasy sometimes.

12. Demands too much from myself as well as others = unstable friend network.

13. Adult ADHD. Forgets little things constantly, and frequently. Also have trouble remembering what I did short while ago, if I'm under pressure.

14. Unable to control stress and emotion.


Above all, I am extremely distressed and feels almost helpless about myself. Even my parents think that it is not serious, and others just think weird of me.

I'm wondering what kind of therapy, for how long, I should receive for my problems.

As long as I know if there is ANY WAY of improving myself and becoming better, I will set my goal to achieve that no matter what.

Repeating again, the most serious problem is that NO ONE near me thinks that it is a serious problem. Some people even laugh if I say about this.

Thank you all for reading my thread, and I'm glad that I found this place.

Or, and I scored 125 in my sanity score, and it told me that I had 9 serious concerns + mild concerns.

Since you're listing yourself as "two faces" and have elucidated all your flaws, how about the other face...as in the things you like about you?

It bet listing them would feel even riskier than setting down your faults.

[twofaces]

Originally Posted by SallyBrown

Tony,

Welcome to PC, I hope you find posting here to be helpful. You'll notice that people don't always just post about therapy itself -- feel free to write more about yourself and your journey and get some support as you figure out the therapy thing.

The thing with asking other people about whether you have a serious problem is that they may not be thinking about how distressing it is for YOU. I used to get a lot of "You seem fine, what do YOU need help with?" from others. But the thing is, the problems I have are distressing to ME, and make MY life harder. In fact, sometimes it's the people who know you well who are least able to see the things that are problematic, because they have seen you function with them for so long. I can see how all of the things you listed would make everyday life needlessly stressful, and I think therapy is a great idea.

It seems like a lot of your problems are related to feeling a strong need to know/control what others think of you, and simultaneously feeling like you can't figure out what others are thinking at all. That's quite a combination. This may seem a little out of nowhere, but how old are you? And which of these problems have been ongoing, and which are recent?

As others have said, none of us can tell you want kind of therapy will be best for you. I'd suggest reading up on different types and approaches to therapy, and picking out a few that resonate with you, then actually meet some therapists who take those approaches.

I mean, as I'm reading your concerns, I start thinking:
- Maybe CBT would help you, in that it's like behavioral training to help you read the social cues of others.
- But maybe more traditional psychotherapy would help, in that you spend more time looking inward and at your childhood, which can lead to a better understanding of where things are going wrong.
- And of psychotherapy methods, maybe a "blank slate" therapist would be good, since you have feelings that others are using you that you can explore by having a therapist who doesn't tell you what he/she is feeling and sees what you come up with.
- But maybe that would be TOO stressful, and a therapist who spends more time giving you feedback about he/she is really feeling would be better for easing your anxiety.
- Then again, given that you have so much trouble with lots of thoughts at once, maybe spending more time and going into more depth with something like psychoanalysis would be worthwhile.

So I can see it many ways. But only you can decide what will ultimately be the most helpful.

Perna gives good advice. Rule out any physical problems, and your doc can get you started with the referral process. You might have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the right therapist, but I do think you could really benefit from therapy. Best of luck to you

Thank you for your kind reply..

I am 19 years old, and have been living for 1 and half years separated from my parents cuz I'm enrolled in Australian University, not the Korean one which is in my home country.

I've been to so many counselling sessions in school, and I have reached the counselling session limits. I think I've been there for about 12 times in one semester.

I felt that my problems have gotten worse over the time, starting from my childhood ADHD that has developed into adult ADHD again. I score 86 out of 100 in ADHD score, as well as 85 in perfectionist score.

I have a lot of problems, and I am planning to see a psychotherapist tomorrow. I will post further after my first psychotherapy sessions probably.

Thank you again for your reply