How did changing the frequency of T visit work for you?

I have been doing much better these days.. Panic attacks are getting less and less and really those are what were disabling me from functioning in my everyday life and I was hardly hanging on from one session to the next.
So, after the first two appointments I ever had with T that were two weeks apart, he mentioned at the end if it would be okay if I came in the next week instead of two weeks? I said sure, then he asked me at the end of that appointment if I was ok with going to once a week.. I thought about it for a min.. and he said, I think it is important. Okay, then after I disclosed the rape he wanted me to schedule a couple of weeks out to ensure that I got to see him once a week. I have been okay with that and would get anxious if I couldn't see him once a week for whatever reason and that really bothered me.

Well, now that I am doing much better I have been thinking about going every other week again. So, my plan was to bring it up in our last session. We got to talking about other things that I forgot to bring it up. So, when he said to make sure I am scheduled for next week and I assured him that I was already, but I was thinking about coming less frequently. He said oh really, he seemed suprised.. and said, well we can talk about it next week when I come.

I was thrown off by it, I thought for sure he would say.. Sure, see you in two weeks.. It didn't go down like that and now he wants to talk about it.. I really thought there wasn't anything to talk about. Now, I am all reading into thinking that maybe he doesn't think that I am ready... What is there to talk about really? How has it worked for the rest of you???

((((Healed)))) that is great that you are feeling better Your T sounds really good...Very caring.

He probably wants to see you next week simply just to talk about it in person. Not because he is doubting you or your capabilities, but because he wants to hear how you are feeling, why and to make sure you are ok in terms of going back to the old schedule.

Heck, you may just talk about it for 10 minutes, make the plan together and then talk about something else! Or sit there for the next 10 minutes staring at each other and call it a day

My T and I were originally seeing each other once a week. Some very painful topics came up and she suggested I come in twice a week. I thought that was a fine idea.

Once I felt a little more stable again, I talked about my desire to come in again once a week. I talked about where I was at, how I was feeling...she asked me questions, I answered thoughtfully, we made a pact, she gave me some homework (which I love) and we set the new schedule.

I think it was just really important to talk about it in person so I could explain my feelings and why I felt that way. And she could provide input, guidance (if needed) and also to gage my demeanor. We talk about everyrhing so why not this too?

I knew with my T she really cared and wanted to hear what I had to say - in person. Which is totally refreshing in this age of technology.

We talk about the good times AND not so good times. This is a good time for you! A victory really Your T sounds very caring and on the ball...maybe you can even take the time to tell him how you are feeling about HIS response to your request! That in itself is important xx

Please let us know how it goes.

Rose

I've just recently switched from every week to every other week. I'd been kinda thinking about it for a couple of weeks, and when I brought it up with my T, she said she'd been thinking about it as well. We talked about it some, and I asked if her policy was to wait until a client brought it up before suggesting a decrease in sessions. She confirmed that it was, so I asked her how long she'd been thinking about having me go to every other week, and she said that she'd been considering it for a couple of months. I have a standing appointment, but had to reschedule things in July due to vacations for both myself and my T. That rescheduling ended up being sessions every other week. So, T asked me if I wanted to go ahead and make the change in June, or wait until July. I decided to make the change starting with June.

It's been really hard for me, actually. Partly because I have had some stuff happen in the past month that would have been easier to deal with by having sessions every week. I also have some past T experiences (with previous T's) that are getting triggered by this change, and causing me to try to pull away from my T. I've needed a lot of reassurance from my T that she's still there and still wants to work with me, and she's not trying to terminate, and that she's still able to support me just as she always has. Fortunately, my T seems to understand that I need that reassurance, and has been giving it quite freely. I've never felt such a need for reassurance from my T before, and I really didn't expect this change to be quite so hard. It's triggering all kinds of fears of abandonment and I find myself wanting to distance myself from my T to keep from getting hurt. We've talked about it, and will continue to do so, and T has assured me that she'll help me get through this rough patch.

In a way, going to every two weeks has been good for me, because it's brought up some interesting things to work on in session, and has triggered things that I experience in everyday life that hadn't cropped up with my T. It's been hard to accept that T isn't going to abandon me. It's been hard to deal with a schedule change (I don't deal well with change). It's been especially hard for me to stay connected with T, but she's working with me to keep the connection going.

Rose's reply is really good! I agree that your T is just trying to be cautious and that is a sign of caring.

With the exception of the 5 months my T had cancer and chemo, I've been allowed to decide how often I go. In the beginning, I did a weird schedule, going 2 consecutive weeks, then skip a week, then go for a week, then skip a week, then 2 consecutive weeks, etc. During the cancer ordeal, she had to take 6 weeks off for surgery, then she could only see patients about once every 3 weeks during chemo. Once I got serious and that was over, I started going once a week. Then I was going twice a week every other week. Now I'm pretty much once a week, but I had an extra emergency session last week. Since I was dealing with extra life issues, she told me that I could either come regularly, more frequently (because talking about the current issues could be cathartic), or less frequently (if I needed to handle the current issues instead of worrying about learning skills or dealing with trauma).

Just talk to your T about it. He's probably not going to make a big deal about it. I have a feeling he wants to make sure you are okay before doing it. Find out if you would be able to get an appointment on an "off" week if you need it. I hope it works out for you!

I think he is just concerned for not and wants to make sure you are ready to meet less before he changes your frequency! I didn't now they had a policy for bringing up less meetings! My t would pencil me in for two weeks later sometimes and a month and monad she made me wait 6 months and always different times and dates! You are really lucky to gateway caring t

It sounds like possibly he was surprised that you were thinking of changing the weekly session, since it seemed to be working well to help you feel better.

I saw my T weekly for several years until I could afford twice weekly, and that works really well for me.

My T has no qualms about my ever needing to seem him more frequently; I don't have to ask for permission or anything. But when it comes to spreading things out, he does like to discuss it just to be sure we're on the same page. It isn't so much about him not thinking I'm ready as much as it does seem to indicate a shift in our therapy relationship a bit. We always try to discuss these changes early enough in a session that everything can be clarified before I leave, but the decision he leaves ultimately and completely up to me (unless he clearly thinks I'm clearly out of my right mind which really hasn't been the case). He just feels most comfortable knowing a bit ahead of time what I am planning/thinking rather than it just happening without discussion (even though the discussion is generally fairly brief). It's just a bit of caution and double checking on his part I think. He just likes to be kept in the loop.

Thanks everyone!!!

I just switched from once a week to every other week. It is really hard on me right now (just had a death in the family), and T said on tuesday she wanted to get me in next week again, but has no openings So it's every 2 weeks....

T changed me from weekly to biweekly early in my therapy. He knew I needed more serious help. I'm almost the only client that goes at that frequency. It has a huge affect my attachment issues. Otherwise I love it. It was the first thing that gave me consistency and stability in my life.

T2 said, we will start with weekly, and then go to every other week.
we just passed the 6 month mark, and from what I think is about to come up, I expect to stay at weekly for a while.

With T1, most of the time I had appointments every 3 or 4 weeks, partly because of finances.... I cannot recommend it. Too much time between sessions and continuity becomes a problem, and also of course, the work goes so. very. very. slowly.

I did weekly for a long time (almost 2 years) and started stretching it out to less frequent sessions back in May. It was my choice. Two big things have happened:
1) I am not so worked up about t and therapy. I feel less triggered and more peaceful.
2) The relationship has changed. There is less continuity, and since I am not opening up every week I am a bit more closed off.

hope that helps.

I started with weekly, but switched to twice a week fairly early on, once I made some significant disclosures. It's always my choice and, for now at least, I like going that frequently. It's made our relationship deepen a bit more quickly and we can spend more time on the old, deep stuff.

My insurance company is whining about two sessions/week, so we may cut back to once/week. I'm not looking forward to that.

What I highlighted above is what I am worried the most about. I am afraid that I will be alittle more closed off, or more anxious in between appointments, which could hinder the progress that I am making. Although, I am also wondering if that is something I can overcome. It will have to come some kind of resolution at some point. Thanks for the insight!