[athena.agathon]

He does not take insurance. I doubt he does sliding scale. And he is expensive...I had no idea how expensive he was when I first went to him.

Now I like him and dropping out of therapy with him is going to suck.

Really, I should have been tipped off when he asked me at the end of the intake how I was going to afford therapy on my low paying social service job. I responded pertly that I have savings (which I do, but they are dwindling away). I also was hoping I would have found a higher paying job by now, but no such luck.

I feel like I told a lie and entered therapy with him under false pretenses; starting to work with him was a commitment, me saying that I could afford it. Which was a total error on my part.

I do not want to talk to him about this. I just want to drop off the face of the earth! arhl;ah.g, why did I get myself into this position?

I'm so sorry that you're in this place, athena.agathon. I think the "telling" comment is his question, "how are you going to afford therapy on your low paying social service job?" I"m not saying that he won't be open to offering a "sliding fee scale" but the fact that he asked that question tells me that he is aware and cognizant of "financial issues related to the cost of psychotherapy."

I wish therapist didn't have this awareness, but they are human. They perform their function because they are invested in "making a living". Wow, doesn't that confict with what all of us believe when it comes to being giving, open, compassionate, empathetic and generous with our time and expertise? ... yeah, but all of us, even those of us seeking psychotherapy, need to make a living. .. and our therapists are no different.

If a therapist is experincing "outrageous" financial gains from their work, then I think that we need to question or rebel against their practice. But I don't think that's the case . .. any more than I think that teacher's are making more than they deserve considering their level of training and education. But right now, we are a society that questions everyones RIGHT to demand payment for services. Do some demand more than they are worth? DEFINTITELY! But most don't. Most provide what they say they will provide and if they don't, we are open to move on.

I tink thyou should talk to him abou this. If he is too expensive for you, but you feel that you are getting a solid connection, tell him that. It's hard to ask for a sliding fee, but if he can't give it to you, he'll tell you. .. .and that's valuable information.

I hope you're albe to find someone that works or fits just right for you!!

[suzzie]

(((((((((anthena.aganon))))))))))

hope you can stay with your t.

[athena.agathon]

Jaybird, I absolutely don't think he asks for more than he is worth. Part of what sucks about this is that I think he is worth every penny and of course he deserves to charge a fee that is comparable with his skill and experience. That (and pride) makes me not willing to discuss the fee.

That's kind of why I want to just cut and run, rather than tell him that this is the problem. I'm embarrassed and I don't want to get into a situation where I have to be embarrassed in front of him...

athena.agathon, I totally and completely relate to what you are saying. Your therapist is good and competent and more than what you would expect or want when contacting a therapist!!!! Sometimes I think that we settle for what we believe is perfection, but that's another blog If you are happy and content and motivated with what your therapist is able to provide, then you need to move toward connection and agreement. That is a financial agreement.

None of us who are in therapy want to MONEY to come in between our working with the person who we love, honor, respect, draw close to, see as "okay", or hate but go to because they are the only one who right now lets us come! I'm not being silly or humerous here! These are feelings many of us in psychotherapy feel on a daily basis!

We need people who are willing to work with us! We need people who are willing to wade through the stuff we are dealing with. It isn't a "few bucks to weather things". It is a long term commitment that means less payment sometimes, good solid, long term payment other times and inconsistent up and down payment other times. Yeah, I get that most "professsionals" aren't able to deal with that. So what is wrong with our government providing that service for ALL IT'S CITIZENS????

[trdleblue]

Have you checked with your insurance company to see if you can be reimbursed for seeing him? Just because he doesn't take insurance doesn't always mean that your insurance company won't allow you to file on your own.
I hope you are able to find a solution.

[athena.agathon]

They want him to fill out a form for the reimbursement. And I don't want to ask. Actually the form is short and ridiculously easy. I could fill it out and he could sign it. But I'm afraid they will call and stalk him for additional documentation, which I am not excited about.

I know I need to at least try submitting for reimbursement.

[Nightlight]

I know how hard this is. I've seen mine for over three years and have changed from working part time (and struggling to afford it) to studying (and looking for work to fit around my studies) and really struggling to afford it. I've spaced my appointments out to once a fortnight, but I miss the support that I previously had. I had such big problems to overcome and I just can't manage to do much with help once a fortnight. I feel like I'm losing the hope of...being okay, or fixing my life. My therapist is great. I don't want to be helped by anyone else, but I don't think I can justify the weekly expense anymore. It's just too much for me. It is hard.

I was also managing with savings for a while, but was using them up too quickly to continue. Do try for the reimbursement. It could make all the difference.

[quote=athena.agathon;2436549]They want him to fill out a form for the reimbursement. And I don't want to ask. Actually the form is short and ridiculously easy. quote]

This is the hard part of therapy (the financial aspect), but we need to bite the bullet and make it happen. If you feel as if this is a person you can work with, get him/her to FILL out the form! If it's easy, you fill out the majority of it and make her sign her name. Take advatage of what is being offered to you. Dont turn your back on it! Suep

[athena.agathon]

Thanks Nightlight, it's nice to know I'm not the only one.

[SoupDragon]

I would definitely try to talk to him. He may be able to work something out, but if not as you say he is a good T, I would expect he will help you find someone else who would be suitable. I know my T has said we would find someone else together if there was a need for him to stop working with me.

Good luck, this must be so tough - Soup

[mswinter]

Originally Posted by athena.agathon

Really, I should have been tipped off when he asked me at the end of the intake how I was going to afford therapy on my low paying social service job.

I'm also a social worker and I can empathize with doing an extremely difficult and emotionally taxing job for a low pay. Things have improved for me financially since I became a LMSW and a supervisor, but not to the extent that I would be able to afford to pay for therapy out of pocket.

In fact, I had to quit seeing my former T because he did not take insurance. I had seen him for about 7 months and, initially, I was crushed that I had to leave him. I didn't even look for another T for months. Then one day, I started to look again and found a T covered by my insurance. My new T is a PhD (my former one was a LCSW) and each session costs me a merely $19 in copay, that's all. He takes care of all the paper work too.

I know that leaving a T, especially one you have connected with, is extremely difficult but I would also venture a guess that continuing to see a T under financial distress would make recovery/healing much much more difficult. At least for me, I could not really concentrate on the therapeutic work because I was worried about how I was going to afford my next session.

As a fellow social worker, I know better than to give advices... you will make the best decision for yourself. I just wanted to share my experience with you; the experience of having to leave a T for financial reasons and then finding a competent and caring T covered by insurance. And for me, not having to worry about the T's fee does make a world of difference when it comes to being able to engage in the therapeutic process.

[WikidPissah]

I think you should just ask him to fill out the reimbursement forms. They won't hound him for more info, they'll hound you (since you are submitting the claim not him) that's kind of how it works.

[ECHOES]

You told the truth that was true at the time. Now, you are finding yourself struggling and that is the new truth. Both are true.

I hope you can find a way to talk to him about this. I never imagined my T offered more of a sliding scale that she already was offering me, but when I was struggling, she lowered that to the lowest she could go. So, you never know, and it is - you are - definitely worth the asking!

[athena.agathon]

Originally Posted by mswinter

continuing to see a T under financial distress would make recovery/healing much much more difficult. At least for me, I could not really concentrate on the therapeutic work because I was worried about how I was going to afford my next session.

This is pretty much what I'm thinking, winter. I've been struggling for a while about whether or not to talk about The Sexual Abuse, and the financial issues are complicating things because if I go there, and then decide that I can't hack him financially, I will have dug myself a serious hole.

Aside from that, I really appreciate your input as a fellow social worker. You get it. I'm a caseworker and not a therapist, but it is definitely emotionally taxing and underpaid. I would not want to do anything else, though, and I imagine you feel the same way! It makes me feel good knowing that you found someone equally helpful and competent who takes your insurance; I think part of my problem is that I'm freaking out about whether I can start over again and find someone I connect with as much.

That said, I think I'm going to put off a decision for a while, push myself to ask him to sign the reimbursement form and see what happens with my reimbursement. (Thanks, Wiki...)

[KazzaX]

I used to have a psychotherapist - i was with her for 3.5 years. I used to see her once a week - she was a private one. Each year I would get 15 free sessions (well, paid by a govt scheme) but the rest I had to pay for myself. I had no money but i went for the 15 free sessions anyways. When I got to the end of the 15 sessions she sort of took pity on me and i only had to pay $60 per session (Instead of $250 a session that she usually charged). Maybe there is some sort of system out there for you like that? I think they call it sliding scale but its like a "Pity payscheme" to me, lol. But hell, if you think this T is a good one, it might be worth finding out.

[Perna]

I don't know how you are paying; whether you are just using your savings or some of your salary and some of you savings. I would try to adjust my budget.

For myself, I found that I generally got what I wanted, some way, no matter what my salary. I use to buy a great many books, they were my thing, and if I was not working and wanted something else (a computer :-) I would not buy books so I could pay for the computer. My friend who is unemployed at the moment, doesn't turn on his air conditioner, for example (so is at our house more often these days :-)

Can you get a loan of any sort, borrow on a credit card or something? I pretty much treated therapy as if it were "education"/college courses. I paid for mine out-of-pocket too, for many of the reasons you give for paying for yours (I too had insurance). I figured out approximately how much I was spending a year ($4,000) and then compared that to my college courses I was taking for my second degree, which were about $1,000 each including books/materials? I took 3-4 college courses a year and would charge those expenses each semester on my credit card and pay over time. Can you do something like that for your therapy; treat it like an expense and get a cash advance of X every six months to pay?

[mcl6136]

Just as many therapists do not believe that their sliding scale should be so low that they endanger themselves financially, I do not believe that my therapy journey should be so expensive that it adds a whopper of a financial burden on top of my other (emotional) burdens.

I've urged lots of people who work in the non-profit sphere (as I do) to push to see what sliding scales are available....Pressure from the money aspects can REALLY interfere with the work that can be done in therapy. I know that watching the clock and feeling that I could not afford being there would really be a damper.

[critterlady]

This makes me so sad. No one's health (mental or physical) should suffer simply because of money.

[mcl6136]

Originally Posted by critterlady

This makes me so sad. No one's health (mental or physical) should suffer simply because of money.

You got that write lady

[athena.agathon]

You know, Perna, I think I can use my credit card to pay at my therapist's office (it's a group practice with an office manager) and I think paying by card makes more sense than using cash advances (which I think are a really bad idea if they're avoidable because they start accruing interest immediately...); I've always paid by check, which makes no sense because I don't use checks for anything else anymore!

Expensive therapy aside, I am very careful with my finances (I rarely charge things, pay off my balances every month, and pay for everything from my salary, which keeps me constantly budgeting and checking up). It might be time for me to suck it up, use my good credit and carry a balance to pay for an expense that I think is worth it.

As for how I justify this potential plan, you are throwing out a line which I was already considering by suggesting I treat this like an educational expense. I don't have any student loan debt because I managed my finances and aid very, very carefully during college/grad school, which makes me more comfortable taking on debt. (I don't have any...)

Thanks so much for the support and ideas everybody...you guys are awesome!