[Hope-Full]

How do you express yourself to your T (or anyone, really, but especially T) when you can't find words to say? I'm in this awkward space where I am aware of all sorts of feelings and emotions, and T has asked me to journal on them or whatnot so that we can begin working on them (which I want to do) but I can't find words at all. I have words for the emotions that I am feeling, and lots of emotions themselves, but that's it. I am, for once, speechless, and it's making me bonkers that I can't write out or explain what I'm thinking and feeling like I usually can.

Any ideas or thoughts to get through this blockage?

[skeksi]

I went through a period where I would write everything I was thinking in my journal, but I was too ashamed to show T, so I painted over the words and took him that. We got a lot out of it. And after a while, I could just show the words, and then I could speak them.

Being able to communicate through pictures and colors first really helped me--and im no artist, we are talking squiggles and stick figures, here. A lot of times, T would venture an interpretation,and I'd either agree or disagree. He'd try again, and eventually either get it right or I could squeeze a few words out to point him in the right direction. Communicating without words can be a real gift. I hope you find a way that helps you.

[geez]

I know how frustrating it can be! I would journal or post on PC

Unfortunately my problem now isn't just figuring out my feelings/emotions but being able to share them with T. I find my intellect and emotions have this internal battle of sorts. If I can fully trust my new T I will be able to hand those emotions over to her to help me figure it all out.

[adel34]

Well often with my therapists I would e-mail. My voice movement therapist was big on getting me to talk rather than e-mail. So whenever I e-mailed something that was on my mind we always had to talk about it at the next session. It was a good way to bring my writing and voice together.
Also she's big on making "random sounds" to express your feelings. Weird I know, but part of the work she does. She's different that way. Often when I was having a hard time I'd just sit with her and cry and neither of us would say anything. Good luck with this. I know it's hard.

[stopdog]

I don't know. For me, it is often more like I simply do not have the correct vocabulary to describe what I mean and it often sounds to me like the therapist is speaking English, but incorrectly, as her use of language makes no sense to me. Good luck with it.

[AngelWolf3]

This is going to sound weird, but my T said that sometimes if I was having trouble connecting words to emotions, that I could write with my non-dominant hand, and make it look like a kid was writing it...(I know I have the issue of the kid inside me trying to get the feelings out from the past and everything so that also could be why she suggested that...)

But I don't know, maybe that could help you? Also what I try to do is just write even just one word to describe how I am feeling, and then come back later and write another word. I got the page filled up...I did it in a spiral pattern though, which made it kinda artsy-ish? I'm sure the spiral has something to be analyzed too...but I digress.

I hope this was helpful, if not that's okay, because I am still having trouble with this myself.

[Perna]

I had good success with Julia Cameron's "morning pages" and her book, The Artist's Way:

http://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

[WikidPissah]

sometimes my words just don't come, so I will write random words and phrases in a notebook. People reading it would think I was nuts because it makes no sense at all.

[Butterflies Are Free]

I have found journaling and drawing to be helpful. Also, my T is a dance movement therapist so I move and use my body quite a bit.

[purple_fins]

My healing journey has been helped tremendously by novels.
T. and I will read the same book and then talk about it. that is how I've found "words" and ways to express self and traumas....
through others writings.

I have always struggled to communicate and minimize awful/upsetting things: like a simple example- if I had a 10 inch cut I'd tell someone I got a little scrape
am so fearful of any "weakness" and
it being used to further injure/hurt me

I have also used drawing(I'm so NOT an artist-- stick figures for me), writing poems and just jotting subjects down that come to mind and taking that paper in with me to the session.

I hope you can find the avenue that works best for you and that it also works well with the T. you see.
I wish you the best and please keep us posted, if you feel up to it

fins

[Hope-Full]

Thanks everyone, for your input, support, and ideas. T also suggested drawing again, which is something I haven't been able to do in a while, but I bought a new sketchbook, so hopefully that will help. T reminded me that the pictures don't need to be good, either

@Seski - I like how you kinda moved slowly from words covered in pictures, to pictures with words

@geez - I hope you can learn to fully trust your T, it's scary, but it's worth it.

@adel34 - thank you! The sounds thing does sound funny, but I think I could even translate that into words on paper (funny sound words) and go from there when I'm stuck.

@stopdog - I can totally relate to T speaking a foreign language!

@Wolfin3 - I've heard of the non-dominate work before, how did it work for you? It seems so strange that I'd be able to get more out that way, but who knows?

@Perna - you're like the third person that's suggested that book! Maybe it's time to check it out.

@Wikid - I like that idea too - less stressful than stream of consciousness, just random words and phrases. Could actually be kind of fun!

@Butteflies - journaling is usually really helpful and writer's block is rare for me. I'm hoping that drawing will help open things back up?

@fins - I'm the same way - minimizing stuff a lot, and for years, that really shouldn't have been/be. I like the idea of reading/book talks, I will see what T thinks about that. I'm a huge reader, and have to be careful not to get triggered sometimes, but I so love to read!