Harm Reduction

So I had Session today and my T brought up the concept of harm reduction when making decisions.

T was discussing how decisions aren't right or wrong but rather should be viewed as whether they are harm reducing. This is a totally new concept for me.

So the example we worked through is I'm taking a work transfer across the country come September mainly to put some physical distance between me and my parents (the main reason I'm in therapy to begin with). Originally the idea was to take a 6month transfer and then assess whether I wanted to stay. Of course my dad was extremely unsupportive and against the move but finally after a few months has realized I'm going with or without his approval and has somewhat accepted this. Now my work has changed it to a minimum 1 year transfer. So I was trying to strategize how I was going to break this new news to my parents when T suggested that I don't even tell them. Of course this never occurred to me that I had this option. So I started analyzing whether this was the "right" thing to do, when my T brought up the harm reduction concept. In this case T asked me to consider what harm would be cause to me if I told them (yelling, disapproval, criticism) compared to the harm of not telling them, they already know I am going and there was a chance I would stay beyond 6 months. This viewed put a totally different perspective on the decision for me.

I'm not sure the purpose of me posting this other than I found this concept so mind blowing. Making decisions this way versus looking at some subjective judgement of what's right or wrong is creating some interesting insights.

i like it when t can put a whole new spin on something. and something like this concept can be used for a lot of different issues.
thanks for sharing/posting

I also see this as shifting from your parent's view to your view. The trying to determine if the decision is right or wrong probably has something to do with your parents? This new technique is just about you and what you need. I like that!

sounds like your T has the right idea. it kind of blew my mind too when i realised i didn't have to tell my parents things i didn't want to tell them if i didn't feel like dealing with their crappy reactions.

all of these are excellent posts. my early T's used to talk about "taking responsibility" which to me just sounded like taking the BLAME, which just sounded scary. Harm reduction, OTOH, sounds very positive! And puts the emphasis where it is from the client's current point of view, not from where we "should" be from the POV of a superior all-knowing T.

Thanks for sharing. I find this very interesting.

I agree, too! It took me a while to realize that just because I did (or thought) something didn't mean my parents knew about it or needed to be informed about it. Being in control of the flow of information makes me feel more positive about our interactions.