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#1
Jul 22, 2012, 09:06 AM
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You know how elephants like to creep into rooms (the ones nobody wants to mention) ... do they ever go away if you don't tell your T about them because if you did he would leave?
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#2
Jul 22, 2012, 09:11 AM
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You talkin' about me?
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
 sittingatwatersedge
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#3
Jul 22, 2012, 09:18 AM
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Erm one of your relatives perhaps!
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| pachyderm
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#4
Jul 22, 2012, 09:50 AM
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Your T is not going to leave! He's sitting there, placing bets against himself about when you are going to mention the elephant, and then he has to call his Gambling Anonymous sponsor to talk about it, so just hurry up and tell him before he has a relapse already! Well that's my fantasy anyway...
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| Wren_
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#5
Jul 22, 2012, 09:53 AM
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My experience so far is that if you've been seeing your therapist for more than a few months, he knows there are elephants and is really just waiting for you to be able to talk about them.
If he's a good therapist, there's nothing you can tell him that will make him leave. |
| Hope-Full, rainbow8, Wren_
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#6
Jul 22, 2012, 10:01 AM
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I agree. Your T is not going to leave no matter how many elephants are lurking. You can do it. Just tell him!
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| Wren_
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#7
Jul 22, 2012, 10:13 AM
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Yeah, if your T is decent, he KNOWS about the elephant and he's waiting for you to be ready. My T said as much to me when I finally got to what I THOUGHT was the biggest secret ever. He was pretty much said that minute I mentioned CSA, he KNEW this subject was coming up eventually. I was kind of ticked and told him HE could have mentioned it two years ago and saved us a bunch of time. He said that it has been his experience that the few times he has brought it up first, the client essentially ran away screaming (inside their heads anyway).
So, your T is probably just waiting patiently for you to be able to talk about the elephant so you can banish it from the room. |
| Wren_
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#8
Jul 22, 2012, 10:54 AM
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tigergirl, i recently share an 'elephant' with my therapist - not only was she accepting and didn't run screaming from the room ... she is being the most supportive she's ever been.
but I do know that taking the risk to share is very difficult. it's been months of work to get to the point to share ... but i didn't force it. i knew it was time to share it and also, knowing sharing this will definitely work toward me acheiving my goals that we are working toward. to you, tigergirl
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Happiness cannot be found through great effort and willpower, but is already present, in open relaxation and letting go. Don't strain yourself, there is nothing to do or undo. Whatever momentarily arises in the body-mind Has no real importance at all, has little reality whatsoever. Don't believe in the reality of good and bad experiences; they are today's ephemeral weather, like rainbows in the sky. ~Venerable Lama Gendun Rinpoche~ 
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 Wren_
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| Wren_
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#9
Jul 22, 2012, 12:00 PM
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In my experience they don't go away because we ourselves are aware of them. The office my T and I used (some other therapist's) had 3 elephant statues in it, on a shelf, that I suddenly saw one day and my eye gravitated to them ever after.
 The only way to have them take up less space in one's head is to bring them out of there and discuss them with another, find out what really happens and how the other person really feels instead of how we think they will feel, etc. Dealing with what is actually happens as it comes up makes it so the elephants can't take up too much space for us.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| Wren_
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#10
Jul 22, 2012, 05:58 PM
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now i'm imagining T on the phone to his sponsor, thanks hankster
 thanks to all of you ... it helps with the other elephants that I know are there; even when I worry that he will leave because of them I also know at the same time that he won't. Because he IS a decent and good T.I'm still less sure about a sneaky little elephant that crept in very recently. T knew about it and it's on his side in a way; I found out about it accidentally and now I know about it, he knows about it, but I am scared to tell him I know about it. I want to close my eyes and hope it disappears as easily as it snuck in ... I guess even sneaky little elephants can be rather loud though 
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| rainbow_rose
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#11
Jul 22, 2012, 08:08 PM
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Quote:
Yeah, now I'm insanely curious about an elephant on his side. 
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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