It hurts.

I'm sorry pbutton. I know the feelings of grief/rage well.

Although, I do find it helpful when someone suggests that I look terrible for a reason that is (1) normal/common and (2) has nothing to do with why I'm really upset. "Oh yeah, I didn't sleep well at all last night" is a stock answer for me. Or, "Oh, my eyelids are puffy? Yeah, my allergies are killing me right now, I've been rubbing at my eyes all morning." People often will be nicer if they think they understand what's wrong.

Even though they don't. I'm sorry you're grieving now.

P button...tell them you have a conference call and then shut your self in your office, or any office....until 5...thats what I do.

and i play 80's music...

Just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking about you today, Pbutton.

I remember when I first terminated with my T; as I was walking out I swear she gave my shoulder a pat. . . I didn't wash that shoulder for years

My thoughts are with you - hugs!

(((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

PB I certinly feel for you. I know it hurts like hell. I had my in home councelor for 6 months which I know does not sound long. But it was 3 days a week every other day for 2-3 hours a day. This person became part of my life. When I knew her time was coming to an end I had panic attacks, I cryed, I come unglued way to much, it felt like someone died. Worse than that. This person was still around. Death leaves you no alternitive except to go on, I have her voice on my answering machine. I know that is bad but I can't bring my self to erase it yet. I has only been 3 weeks that she has not been involved in my life. I did call and leave a message just a thank you for all you did for me. Know you are missed and I hope you are doing well, then hung up. Not help me I'm losing it. I have zanax to help with tough days. It seems to make me just sleepy. I guess it kinda makes the endless river of tears for no reason be a little less. I will be praying for you.... That the lord may bring you peace to accept his will and to accept the necessary changes that come with that. And give you strength daily to get up and face the day.

I wish you the best of luck as you move forward. It does get easier. I feel stronger just knowing times when I could have called her I really did survive by myself. We are capable, given the oppertunity to do so or in my case being forced to do so.

Pbutton, sending lots and lots of safe hugs!!!