[MAL10]

Has anyone ever asked their T to push them emotionally - i often find there is times when i have stuff to say, but don't really know how or what it is that i need to say (i hope that makes sense). I sometimes think that if my T was to push a little further i would open up easier and spill!

Just wondering if it acceptable to ask to be pushed?

Ask for what you need. I've never had to ask to be pushed because I've had T's who by their own nature and style of therapy are unafraid to push me. As a teacher, I've learned to set the bar just a bit higher than my students believe they can actually accomplish, and they are always amazed when they realize how capable they are of pushing themselves a bit beyond their comfort zone. I would hope most T's would do the same; otherwise I'd think the danger is that we stay stuck in our "safe" place. If your T isn't nudging you forward enough, talk to him/her about needing that extra push to help communicate what is going on in your head.

Yes and my t pushes HARD. really hard.

I did, with exT, but she didn't like to do that. That said, she definitely didn't mind me asking for it, and she did start to push slightly, but it was clear that she did not really work that way.

[healed84]

I have not asked to be pushed yet really b/c T is really good at pushy, lol!! He as eased off a bit and I am thinking about asking him to give me a little push concerning one area that we don't talk about much, really b/c I don't bring it up very often.

[stopdog]

I balk and dig in at being pushed. It is not a good style for me.

Yes, I did tell T a while back that I wanted him to push me a bit more. He said he had pushed me the last session, and I wasn't even aware of it! I spoke up because I know I'm fully capable of backing off if he pushes too hard. I'm a master of evasion, and he knows it. Nobody pushes the Bunny any further than she wants to go. But I don't want to be in therapy forever, so I feel like I need a little prodding to get through some of the roadblocks. I'm only hurting myself if I keep stalling and backing off.

Yes. I have asked T to push me and she just said that I have to bring the material. So even though I requested it-she doesn't do it.

[CantExplain]

Yes, I have asked to be pushed.

In particular, I felt T was withholding her anger. I felt that if she didn't get angry with me, it meant she didn't care.

[stopdog]

I keep reading the title of this thread as "have you ever asked to be punished." Either way the answer is no.

[rainboots87]

Yes. I asked her to be tougher on me, to not let me avoid her gaze too much and to push me more to answer her questions (she already said I couldn't say "I don't know" w/o giving it serious thought, but I wanted her to be stricter about it). I don't always like being challenged, but I know it's what helped me grow the most. I think she took my request to heart, but mostly she said that I should be tougher on myself- not to beat myself up or anything, but to not give her any of my crap (therapy-interfering behaviors). When I would shut down in session, i was just holdign myself back and so I really learned to pull myself out of it and to keep it from escalating in the first place.