w t f ????

As a chronically late person myself, I almost feel I should apologize!

Let me bring up something that no one else has brought up, save Hank, but I've wondered from the beginning of the post...is something going on with your T? Something in her life that is making her "extra off". From what I remember of your posts, she's always been late and that bothers you. Then last week, she made the cryptic statement about being angry and was unkempt-looking. This week, she was (technically) on-time, but didn't remember the anger statement, your phone call, or that she was on vacation. She also changed your appointment time back to the original time, when you requested 10:30.

This sounds like someone with too many irons in the fire or in crisis herself. It would be good if you could consult with marriage T. If not, I would give her a couple more sessions to see if her aberrant behavior continues. That would also give you more time to make a decision whether or not to cut and run. I'm bad with decisions too, so I totally empathize with you there! Good luck with all this, Geez!

On the time issue she changed the appt time to 1030 without asking. She just said "I need you to be here at 1030". Then today she said see you at 10 and switched it back just like that.

She may be going through something but hasn't said anything to me. She told my friend who sees her that she has a busy schedule and she double booked an appointment during my friends appt time.

I could understand if T said: I'm really sorry but I'm going through a tough time right now with a family illness so I haven't been at my best lately but I am working on things and I appreciate your patience etc... but notta.

This is definitely taking too much of my energy and I need to find a T that can meet my needs and 'be there'. I'm going to come up with a list of objectives for whomever my 'new t' will be. I want to be clear about what I need from a T and what my objectives are in therapy.

Thanks for listening and helping me process all of this!

I need consistency. Anything less than that is too scary.

I have a hard time trusting my decisions. I fear that because of my past experiences I may be making the wrong decision in both directions leaving/staying. I don't feel 100% confident that I'm making the right choice in quitting. It's like a teenage girl in a relationship. She loves her boyfriend until he she really 'sees him' for who he is. Before seeing him for who he is she took every positive thing he said to her and lapped it up like a kitten drinks milk from a bowl. He builds her up while she secretly craves love and is seemingly getting that love from him when he tells her she's pretty and he cares about her.