[Wren_]

If you had a situation coming up that you knew would trigger you very badly; and each time a similar situation occured eg. family visit as one example, you'd basically spent the therapy session crying and unable to talk would you (in future similar situations):

• schedule a session before the event
• schedule the session as soon after the event as possible
• postpone therapy until things had calmed down a bit

[scorpiosis37]

Personally, I would schedule my session for as soon as the event was over. I would want to be able to decompress with my T right away. I think it would be useful for T to hear about the situation (and my response to the situation) while I was still in the reaction-- before I calmed down. I would not choose to have my session right before the event, because I would not want to upset myself beforehand-- I would want to just "get through it" and then deal with it, with T, as soon as it was over. But that's how I work; others may work differently.

[dolphingirl]

If I know an event will happen and it will be tough, I prefer to talk about it in session before it happens so we can discuss what makes it tough and how to handle and respond to the situation, so my reaction isn't as bad. If I waited til right after, I would be too much of a mess to get through the event, so the event may not even happen. I might curl up in bed during the family visit or completely ditch the event. If I was to wait for things to calm down, yes I would be a mess during the event, but it would help to show me that I can handle things and they aren't as bad as they seem. Before would be the best choice for me.

[CantExplain]

I would want to talk both before and after.
But talking before wouldn't require a special session.

[Wren_]

thanks ... I know after i'm usually not good with talking but it's comforting, only is it wasting time if it's just comfort

[Crescent Moon]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

If you had a situation coming up that you knew would trigger you very badly; and each time a similar situation occured eg. family visit as one example, you'd basically spent the therapy session crying and unable to talk would you (in future similar situations):

• schedule a session before the event
• schedule the session as soon after the event as possible
• postpone therapy until things had calmed down a bit

I usually schedule an apt right before the event.. and then one soon after the event as well. The apt before the event is to prepare me - and/or help me be as balanced as possible before hand, and the one after is to help me process it - regardless of whether it turned out good or bad. This has worked marvelously for me.

[Wren_]

thanks crescent moon it's interesting to read what works for each person

[Perna]

I would not change anything I had done before. Hard to tell when and how things are getting better as they will, if too much changes. I like the frame of the scheduling being similar. I use to track my dreams by days of the week; what sorts of dreams I had the night before therapy, the night after, etc. and if the therapy day/time had changed around, I wouldn't have been able to make sense of it over time.

The situation won't always trigger I hope.

[Wren_]

That's interesting with the dreams and tracking them

The situation I have coming up; hard imagining it not triggering ever

[WikidPissah]

I would prep myself with a before session. I may ask for a follow up phone call or email after the session as well.

[unaluna]

my T's told me (for 30 years) to quit subjecting myself to the triggering events - seeing my family of origin - because it was hampering the progress I was making in therapy. kinda hard to do when you have one cute little nephew and no kids of your own. so I deteriorated for another 20-some years - again, not a good plan. wish I had pulled away before he was born, but I couldn't withstand my parents' threats then. so now I am leaving her alone in her old age, after an unhappy and unfulfilled life of my own, cos seeing her or just seeing her name on my phone gives me heart palpitations.

What does your T say about this? why "must" you continue to participate in these events? is there really no way out?

[sunrise]

I would schedule a session before the event so my T and I could come up with strategies for me to get through the event, cope in the aftermath, etc. In therapy, I want to learn to get over my triggers, so meeting beforehand would help me towards that goal. My T always has good ideas for how to handle things like this. For example, I've gotten much better at funerals, which I would totally refuse to go to before--they were such a huge trigger. My T is also really good at helping build my ego strength in a short term situation. So if I met with him right before the triggering event, he could give me strength to make it through. Then when I did make it through, I would get reinforcement from that (I did it!) and this builds my confidence that I can handle these things. T and I don't even do the ego strength stuff anymore because I've gotten good enough at it myself. Having my T help before the event is kind of like riding a bike with training wheels. As I get better at it, I don't need those wheels (the beforehand meetings).

Good luck with the event, tigergrrl. Sounds hard.

before to prep and after to decompress.... good luck

I would do before and after. I don't think there is anything wrong with going to feel comforted after the event

[Wren_]

thanks everyone I ended up with sending a quick email before and a phonecall after which did help a lot.

I would have given in with seeing a nephew also hankster - wish I had one

[rainbow_rose]

ideally, i'd want a session before AND after.

[Wren_]

thanks rainbowrose

I think I would want to have one before so we could discuss what makes it diffult(the situation) and how could I cope better and then schedule one right after so we could discuss what happened and did the coping suggestions work and why did they/didn't they.