I despise her

self serving bump

In my case, at least, I think I learned to despise my own "weakness" because I was told that I was despised because of it. "I despise you when you whine!"

IFS therapy deals with our "parts". My T has always told me to accept all of my parts and have compassion for them. When we talked about a little part being needy or wanting to do something "I" didn't like, T helped me understand why the part felt that way. I don't have DID. These are just the parts of my personality like you're talking about. Same as inner child, but there can be many parts of different ages inside of us.

Our parts are not supposed to run the show (our lives). When we accept them, hear their "stories", and show compassion for them, then our Self, who is more adult than our parts, can "run the show" and our parts will be in harmony, not something we despise.

Even if a T doesn't practice IFS, I don't think it helps to hate any part of us. We have those parts inside of us for a reason, usually to protect us. Or they are simply vulnerable parts that didn't get enough love. I think that therapy will seem worse until we can make "peace" with the different parts of our personality.