T Fail, Rinse and Repeat

Am I in some freaky wash cycle? I don't know what I am doing wrong. Why do T's NOT work out for me? They are either too religious, or burn sage, or self disclose too much.

I met with a new one, but in our second session she said "I can only see you if you work out once a day and get 30 min of sunlight each day " WTF? What if I can't one day? Then she will dump me? I can't have that hanging over my head. I thought I was picking the T this time around. I wanted to interview and decide, why does SHE get to decide? And how the heck am I supposed to tell my crap to ANOTHER person? They ask really personal questions at the first appointment. I can't walk around the area spewing my history on every t that will give me one appointment.

But I don't want to just settle again. I don't want to spend the next 2 years with a T that can't help.

Woah, that is weird. Seriously, there is someone out there who will be a good fit for you.

The average person would find this all very strange, so at least know that it's not YOU.

Stopdog found a T who isn't totally inadequate. Maybe you can too!

Hi Wicky,
So sorry the t searfch isn't going well.
That thing about only letyou work with her if you got sunlight and exercise everyday, that's totally nuts! I'd let that t go, she doesn't sound like she'd be a good fit for too many people.
Hang in there and keep looking! You'll find the right one for you.
And keep in mind, even if they ask personal questions you don't have to answer everything with all the details. They just need a general idea of what's going on. ting

I wrote this in a thread here on July 15, 2010
SEE?? I am a 3x t fail. Total T looser.

and I wrote this here in August 2010
NOOOOO! Wiki don't trust him, DON'T...it's gonna hurt like HELL.

pathetic. I am pathetic.

Wicked,
Did you ask her what if it is raining? Also, does she know that going out in the sun does help Vitamin D (if that's where she is going) but only minimally if you have Vitamin D deficiency? You have to work out an hour a day? It sounds like she holds you to her own obsessive goals, and in considering the questions, Do you Keep Her OR Kick her to the Curb; I would say Kick her to the Curb and keep lookin'! Best of luck with your next attempt!

I get two hours of outdoor exercise every day and I would drop her too. In my opinion, the only rules the therapist should set are those that deal with his/her personal boundaries and those that relate to the patient's immediate safety.

Geez! Don't give up finding the right T.

F Sannah...what do I do? I am so scared. It's so bad.

TRIGGER


I have really bad stuff in my mind right now. really bad.

You can PM me if you want.

she would definitely not be keeping clients if that was her rule where i live. we can go without sunlight for months on end!!!
WTF is right. that seems rather strict to me!

sending safe hugs. please try and stay safe! i believe there is a t out there for you!

There is going to be a t out there for u that is a great match. U just have to be patient and find her/him. Don't settle for anything but the best. Trust your gut. If u don't get a nice vibe in the initial meeting, don't waste your time. U deserve the best...

thanks everyone. Thanks Sannah. I am ok. I am going to get thru this. I can't hire a t tonight, so I will have to take care of myself.

(((( Wikid ))))

I can relate to some of what you're feeling, at least the part about feeling like a "loser" and failing....You are NOT a failure OR a loser.

That T's request about working out and getting sunlight is a bit unique! But, the idea there is getting some self-care, I assume...which is not a bad thing. I think I'd be a bit reluctant to take on that commitment, though.

It's hard searching for a T that fits....So many people on this board have struggled with that, and it's hard not to see it as a reflection of yourself...but the truth is, it isn't a reflection of you at all. I hope you can see that.

(( HUGS ))

I would report her that is BS. Who the hell does she think she is the d a m n prison wardon??

Wikid - could you just try talking to the woman about the alleged requirement? How is she going to know if you skip a day? I think it is possible to interpret these people too literally. I interviewed about 25 of them - all women over 50. I have stuck with two. One I have some whacko negative attachment to and the other I really don't think about much as such. But I am better to be around when I see them both than when I don't (partner is very vocal about this).
I think they may all have some flaws that will need to be dealt with. I thought it sounded like you sort of liked the woman okay - so just try telling her how this is concerning you - if she responds poorly - then okay try another = but you could let yourself at least try to have the discussion with her. It may be that she was more talking about the effects of exercise and sunlight on depression or whatever rather than any idea she was planning on putting a pedometer on you to ensure compliance.

I agree with SD... Level with the lady, it's not like you aren't a health conscience person. Talk to her about the issue at hand.... And try to work through that. Give her a few more tries and stop reaching out to the one who you know doesn't help. Much love wiki!

No. You've had 3 Ts fail you. Their failure, not yours.

If you look for a pyschoanalysis you should be safe.

This. Wiki, remember how you kept posting to my "I'm a therapy failure" threads last spring, and pointing out where it was my T who was not measuring up, rather than me? It's so hard to see this for oneself. Believe us, though, that you have not failed. You have done the work and they have not been the right people for you. Well, maybe it is still too early to say about Frau T [whinny]. Asking her what on earth she means would be a good thing. (On the latitudes where I live, psychologists to advise people as a general rule to get as much sunlight in the face as possible during the winter months to stave off SADs, so there seems to be some consensus that it is a good thing. But phrasing it as an ultimatum for you to get therapy doesn't sound too constructive to me.)

Thanks everyone. You are all too good to me. I have an appt with Frau T [whinny] on Tues. I will keep it. We will see, but I think I need to visit a few more too.

I have read so many stories on here about T's dumping people, that's my biggest fear. I get attached, she dumps. I do go outside every morning and walk on the beach with my dogs. She knows this, yet she want's more cardio. I have a difficult time with cardio because my front torso is totally numb from all the surgeries and it feels gross to "bounce". My problem is I can't go to the gym anymore because of all the mirrors and reflections...I freak out. My goal is to do that again, but not after 2 sessions.

I'm sorry, but is this therapist a medical doctor - with your complete medical history in front of her?

Not only are these requirements ridiculous, but they could even be dangerous.

Even I know you don't send someone into cardio without a physical or some visit to the physician.

It's just unwise.

She may see it as you demonstrating commitment to change. What it actually is amounts to unsound practice.

I wouldn't give her a drop more of my money, but rather ask if she would like to pay for the physical, EKG etc...

wiki you are so not a T failure at all it takes time to trust or to find a T you can trust. dont give up wiki you are worth the time and effort and it will happen if you dont give up the hunt

I am so sorry this has happened... Please dont't give up on your search!