Have you ever had 'pastoral care or counseling'?

I have a question for anyone who's participated in what would be classified as Pastoral Care and/or Counseling, and would like to share. How much touch is usually involved? I don't mean anything sexual, and I don't mean any kind of ceremony like a laying on of hands. I mean holding hands during prayer, hugs of encouragement, just basic touch?

The reason I ask is that my T is in private practice and there's nothing on the website about Christian counseling. However, he got a Master of Divinity degree before his PhD in psychology, and one of the services he offers is the counseling I mentioned.

He is very hands off with me and has never touched me. When he hands me the appt card he holds it carefully by one corner. I just can't imagine him having other counseling appts where he's all huggy and holding hands while praying.

So is he a warmer, huggier person with other people? Is there something about me or my situation where he's careful to keep his distance?

If anyone could share about their experiences, I'd really appreciate it. Thsi whole thing is starting to bother me..

Have you ask about a touching policy?

I have on more than one occasion searched out pastoral counseling. It is not so much a huggy,touchy, praying type thing. It's more of a following the guidelines that the bible lays out. ex. husbands treat your wives like you would treat the church. (Don't curse her, slander her and so on) It is taking the knowledge of the bible and applying it to psychology. These individuals are often pastors but not always. Sometimes there just firm believers. Not all pastoral counselors have backgrounds in mental health. Do be careful. Life's lessons and good listening skills do not always come from a degree though. I learned alot from pastoral care, the pastor had no degree and was just as normal as you and I. He did make reference to the bible alot. I didn't get the "I am more quilified and know more then you do" or "Books say it is so, so it is so" kinda stuff from pastoral care. Some people, like my husband, do not want a councelor that is not Christian because he feels they may be led to give more worldly advice not Christian advice. I hope this has helped a little.

I have seen my pastor on occasion when I am not able to see T. He actually is very perceptive, and doesn't push "bibley" things on me, but does talk about God, etc. He doesn't do laying on of hands or anything, and we prayed once, (and he asked if it was okay to pray together first...)but usually, it is just a sit and talk session, and he definitely has good intuition about things, kinda creepy actually! We have hugged a couple times at the end of separate sessions, but it is very platonic and comforting.
I would ask him though, as LC suggested, it could get it off your mind and maybe he is wondering the same thing, maybe he doesn't know what you are expecting exactly and wants to be extra careful? Just a guess, I don't know! But good luck, I have had great experience with my pastor.

My second T was a licensed pastoral counselor. Pastoral counselors are members of the clergy (the pastoral counseling program is not tied to any particular denomination) who go through the training, testing, and certification process required by their state to become licensed therapists.

My T literally was my church pastor as well as my T. Honestly, we didn't discuss matters of religion at all in our sessions. The pastoral counseling program's philosophy is to not "push" religion on clients and to honor people where they are. I worked with my pastor and two other pastoral counselors in groups and none of them ever were "preachy" with me or any of the other clients at all. I'm sure if I had brought up matters of faith as something I wanted to deal with in my therapy we would have, but that was not my issue so it was a non-issue in therapy.

I found therapy with pastoral counselors really no different than therapy with any of my other therapists.

http://www.aapc.org/ Here's a link the the association that trains pastoral counselors. Personally, I wouldn't see just any pastor for counseling as not all pastors are licensed therapist; in fact, most aren't.

What, me do the obvious, mentally-healthy thing? No. I'm too chicken.

I have done some pastoral counseling, and i dont recall being touched ever, even one single time, not even a handshake.

I did pastoral counseling, and I also did counseling with a LMHC who had a Mdiv. Never got touched.

I have gone to my pastor for couseling before he is a ordained pastor, but not a liscenced T.. And he has hugged.. However, he hugs people all the time in his church. So, I think there is a bit of a difference there.

my first t was a pastoral counselor. she never touched or hugged in 1 1/2 years. none of my ts do.

I really appreciate all of you who responded. I have a better picture now of what it's all about. Maybe he's just not a huggy type of person. He is pretty buttoned up, actually, in more ways than one. So I'm feeling sort of relieved and I don't think it's just me. I appreciate all of your posts - thank you!

I've had some; I think it's the same as all therapists/counselors that there are those who touch and those who don't ... some church connected ones may also have their own policies on no touching to avoid legal hassles. Seems that it is more about who your T is and his style of therapy than connected with you

Before I started seeing my t, I spoke with my pastor on several occasions. There was no touch involved. He referred me to my t when I knew I needed more counseling than he could provide. My t includes Christian therapy on her website. We shook hands when we met, I think. That is the extent of the touch. I think it really depends more on the therapist/pastor. I would ask what the person's touch policies are and if you do not want to be touched, that should be respected.