Today I've been thinking a lot about "respecting yourself" as in the phrase "if you don't respect yourself, no one else will". I've been thinking about what does that mean in a "real life...everyday living" way not as some grand theory...

What, if anything, has your T said about it? What does that mean to you?

[Mike_J]

A lot of it is your (my) "self talk" is it the sort of things you (I) would say to others? If not why would you (me) say it about yourself (myself) in your (my) own head?

[tooski]

To me, respecting yourself means taking care of yourself, treating yourself well, not harming yourself, basically not treating yourself like crap. And not letting anyone else treat you that way either. It means going through life with an innate sense of value, but not self-importance. If I respect myself, it doesn't mean that I think I'm God's gift to the world or all that great, but simply that I care about myself, even if no one else does.

[autotelica]

I'm sure my therapist would say something like it means asserting yourself and being your own advocate. Caring about your own feelings and not a doormat.

[Sannah]

I think that it means that you respect yourself enough where you don't let others disrespect you.

[LotusBloom]

Treating yourself like you want others to treat you -- with basic human dignity, kindness and love.

[stopdog]

I have boundaries. I do not say yes if I really want to say no. I am not motivated by guilt. I don't feel bad for saying no.

I have no idea.

I think it's a feeling thing. When you reach that point it all makes sense you feel it within yourself. You stop living codependently.

[elliemay]

I think it's about choice - true choice. I believe the term is "ego strength".

Self respect, I think, is when you do not have to necessarily react when someone is treating you like a doormat. You've got nothing to prove, so it's okay. Not like "It's okay because I deserve it" but "it's okay because I can chose what to allow and what not to allow and I can not allow it in a rational, non-angry or non-aggressive manner".

It's peace with yourself.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by tooski

To me, respecting yourself means taking care of yourself, treating yourself well, not harming yourself, basically not treating yourself like crap. And not letting anyone else treat you that way either. It means going through life with an innate sense of value

yes, and about all this, T2 says that these are the indicators of healing.

which was not all that great to hear... the needles on my indicators seem to be in need of a lube, or something.