When Did T's Self-disclosure Help?

Has self-disclosure by T ever been helpful to you? When and how so?

Thank you!

My Ts self disclosure helped me see that people can go from *really* bad places to *really* good places. It gave me hope that life can change when you work at it, and that no matter how bad it can get it is worth it to keep going and never give up.

My T discloses quiet a bit. Just recently we were talking about parenting and he used examples from his kids and his parenting style. It was very helpful.

My T is very careful with any self disclosure, and makes sure to do so only when it would be therapeutically beneficial. For example, if we are discussing something specific that I am really struggling with, T will often share something that illustrates the point, or shows that the situation isn't an end-all-be-all situation. T's shares are so few, that when it does happen, it is incredibly powerful.

My t only shares if I ask. She has told me a little bit about her family and stuff, but not enough to really make a difference to me and my therapy. I wished she would share tho, bc I feel like it would help me to work with her, if I knew that she could self relate to me... But that seems like something no t wants: to relate on a personal level...

This is an interesting thread, I am looking forward to reading the responses.

Other than his thoughts and feelings on things we're discussing in session (which he talks about quite openly), my T discloses very little. I know almost nothing about him biographically. For example, I know he has kids, but I have no idea how many, how old or whether they're boys or girls.

The one time he did disclose something very personal, it made a big difference for me. It helped me understand his motive for something he'd done and it helped me see him in a new, more nuanced way.

I don't think it's any specific thing she's told me, so much as it's my feeling like I'm getting to know a real person, which in return has helped me to be real with her.

Also, kind of like Luce said above, it's encouraging to know that someone who has been somewhere akin to where you are can turn things around and really enjoy life.

The woman has told me stuff about herself. My usual response is "why are you telling ME this?" = so no, I have not found particularly useful. I suppose it could be if she would simply explain how me knowing what she does or thinks is useful to me.

My T only self-discloses in the context of conversations we're having. Once we were talking about needing to be liked, and he was saying that it's impossible to have everyone like us. As an example, he said that another T he had collaborated with for quite a while decided she didn't want to work with him anymore. He asked why, and she said "It's your personality." That must have been an "ouch" moment, and he made no attempt to hide it, but just shrugged his shoulders and said something like these things happen and we can't please everyone.

These disclosures not only drive a point home but make him more human to me, and not just an authority figure who's preaching to me. He lives life too.

My T has told me little details from her childhood and how they affected her and how she overcame them to reassure me that i could heal from my pain. She didn't go in to a lot of detail but she's answered my questions about how she felt as a child etc, it was all relevant stuff and it made me feel closer to her because she trusted me to tell me and also gave me hope.

My current therapist...I can't think of any personal disclosures actually. I don't know that much about him, which I prefer.

A former therapist told me that a parent of his had died recently so I knew that the therapist knew what I was going through in regards to losing a parent. That was very helpful for me....just to know he understood.

My T disclosed that she was abused as a kid and had an eating disorder etc... it helped me feel more connected to her and keep coming back, rather than give it a few sessions and disappear like I am wont to do.

My t tells me a lot and it has helped me see that its possible to move on from very hard things. It also helps to know that she can really relate to me and understands what i have been through.

My therapist sometimes talks about how she deals with her SADS. Also, she has told me about how her mother was cruel to her and her grandmother was her primary source of love.

She talks about how she used to be fat and how that still affects her self-esteem.

But it always seems my problems are ones she can't relate to, which can be a little frustrating. Last week I asked if she's ever felt embarrassed due to ineptitude in public and she said no, real abrupt-like. Not for the first time, I felt like she was kind of being dismissive. I understand WHY I shouldn't feel embarrassed (she gave me all the reasons), but I think she could have tried harder to PRETEND to be empathetic and not make me feel like my feelings are so alien.

T1 did not disclose her personal life to me at all, but reassured me on many occasion that I was not alone, I was strong and so brave, and she understood. That was enough for me to keep moving forward. One time, when I was sharing a particular painful story, I burst out into tears that came from a very deep place. She burst out into tears too and cried with me. She told me with total conviction that I could get through it. I absolutely believed her. I love her with my whole heart for that. She empowered me.

(I get teary now just remembering that moment. She was the best)

Most of the time, yeah. When she shared, it helped me realize that she's not perfect. That she has had problems with her mom too, that she gets upset and wants to cry sometimes, that she has fears, that she's been attached to someone too. It made me feel not so alone and also helped keep me from idealizing her so much.

I'm helped a lot by feeling like I know who my therapist is, and by having a strong sense of how she is too. So self-disclosure has always helped me. It also helps when she gives me examples of normal reactions to a situation, or demonstrates healthy coping methods within her stories. Sometimes it still helps me to hear a self disclosure about something that doesn't really strongly relate to what I'm going through. It makes me feel like someone she gets on with and enjoys talking to. The relationship that we've build up, which has included a fair amount of self-disclosure, has been the most healing aspect of all. I think it was something I really needed, and I feel very lucky and blessed to have been given it so freely.

My T has not. My son's T has about knowing emotions attached to SI.

One of our most connected moments was when my sister was dying and T shared with me the experience of losing his cousin many years previous. It was a moment when I knew he really had been where I was at that moment. It still is probably the strongest experience we have in common. It was really helpful to know how well he truly understood the level of grief I was going through.

No, it has never been helpful to me. I am not interested in my T's life, I am interested in her treating my mental illness.

I guess the closest I've ever come is current T using a novel he likes (one by Charles Dickens) to illustrate a point. I am on my third T and have never had a T tell me anything personal about themselves - I have no idea if they were/are straight or gay, married or single, have children, pets or summer houses.

My T self discloses a lot. I think it helps us bond, grow closer, and build our relationship. It helps us have a more reciprocal relationship, which is helpful to me and my therapy.

T's' self disclosures also help model different ways of being in the world. My ways are not always so successful or healthy! So I can learn something by hearing how T has dealt with similar situations. For example, we have talked about how to handle death and sadness. How to handle the terminal illness and death of a parent. T tells of what happened in his life so I can see how it went for him, and perhaps get new ideas of how I can pass through these challenges myself. Another example is self care. I am working in a really draining job right now at a hospital. T gives examples of how he cares for himself--being a therapist can certainly lead to burn out--and I get some ideas. T doesn't tell me "this is how you should do this" but just tells me how he does it, and I can pick and choose the ideas that might work for me. So talking about himself is a kind of a non-directive method of putting ideas on the table.

ex T self disclosed a lot. It actually made me think badly of him after a while.

My T discloses quite a few things about her life which I like cuz I feel like I'm hanging with a friend and not a pro even though of course I know she's a pro. Lol. The first T i saw was actually putting bad thoughts in my head. Making me feel worse. I think that T needed some meds. Ugh