[EeyoreSmile]

Soooo my t is trying to get me to actually feel my feelings. She promises me they won't kill me. She says it is okay to be uncomfortable.. and I have to feel them because they will come out some other way eventually.. Okay Sounds good..

BUT I tried that today. Woke up with crazy anxiety and my head was just bopping from thought to thought... so I tried to sit with the anxiety and feel it in my body.. but that completely sucked. And I thought.. I know how to deal with this.. push all these feelings away.. stick them back in their box.. distract myself with something else.. go on autopilot and make it through the day. Cause I really don't know what I'm supposed to do with them once they are there...

I know I gotta make this breakthrough at one point or another, but right now.. i'm just overwhelmed.

[mixedup_emotions]

I believe there's a difference between pushing feelings away by distracting ourselves or putting feelings aside to address at another time.

If you are able to stick those feelings back in their box in order to function, but will decide to pull them back out again during T or when you choose to address it, that is much more productive than trying to suppress feelings so that they will miraculously disappear.

Most feelings don't disappear fully....it may feel that way, but they find a way to resurface....

[nicoleb2]

Originally Posted by EeyoreSmile

Soooo my t is trying to get me to actually feel my feelings. She promises me they won't kill me. She says it is okay to be uncomfortable.. and I have to feel them because they will come out some other way eventually.. Okay Sounds good..

I can totally relate! My t's favorite phrase is "you need to let yourself feel your feelings"

It is really hard, and uncomfortable, and crappy... I'm still working on it too

[KazzaX]

Its hard to do that and function in daily life. Unhealthy people cannot just "put it away to deal with it another time". If we could do that, we wouldn't be in therapy. My T has a very hard time comprehending this. I think that is because she is "normal" and has never had to deal with hardcore feelings before. Feeling feelings is nice and all, but the bottom line is you cannot work, you cannot pay the bills if you are just walking around feeling feelings all the time. And feelings arent much use when you are homeless on the street!

[EeyoreSmile]

Originally Posted by KazzaX

Feeling feelings is nice and all, but the bottom line is you cannot work, you cannot pay the bills if you are just walking around feeling feelings all the time. And feelings arent much use when you are homeless on the street!

LMAO!! This is hilarious.. and I agree. I was like. yeah I have things to do.. these feelings are exhausting.. Because yes maam.. I'm still picking up the pieces from the last time when my feelings were so strong I didn't have any choice but to feel them. i'm gonna tell her feelings aren't much use if I'm homeless on the street.. see what she says LMAO Thanks for the Monday chuckle.

[EeyoreSmile]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

If you are able to stick those feelings back in their box in order to function, but will decide to pull them back out again during T or when you choose to address it, that is much more productive than trying to suppress feelings so that they will miraculously disappear..

Yeah I decided to journal yesterday so that I can revisit them next session.. I just was like. this is a total mistake to allow this hurricane loose outside of a safe space. I'll revisit them.. I guess. LOL No I will. Thanks for your insight :-)

[complic8d]

Yeah, my t likes me to "put them in a container" until the next session. I've told her they don't stay there. Journaling helps get them out and I can go back to that in therapy to see what was going on. But then, I usually cannot get back to that place/feelings either. Feelings, for me, are not something I can just "decide" to feel at one point and then "decide" to put away for later. That concept just eludes me. So, I'll feel my feelings when triggered, maybe journal, then shove them back and resume auto-pilot (which I hate because it feels so fake and empty). Then, I'll get to therapy and be "fine" and can't recall those feelings to work on, even if they are written down. It is so frustrating. I would love an "on-call" t to be there when it is happening. (Sometimes I e-mail her in the moment, to capture it, but then later I will wonder what I was so upset about).
Hang in there, you aren't alone

[Sannah]

But anxiety is different then sadness. Sadness is the one that needs to be felt so that it can pass and life can get better. Anxiety is something that needs to be worked on so that you can get rid of it IMO. I got rid of my anxiety by figuring out where it was coming from and then working on those so that I could get rid of it.

[EeyoreSmile]

Originally Posted by complic8d

Yeah, my t likes me to "put them in a container" until the next session. I've told her they don't stay there. Journaling helps get them out and I can go back to that in therapy to see what was going on. But then, I usually cannot get back to that place/feelings either. Feelings, for me, are not something I can just "decide" to feel at one point and then "decide" to put away for later. That concept just eludes me. So, I'll feel my feelings when triggered, maybe journal, then shove them back and resume auto-pilot (which I hate because it feels so fake and empty). Then, I'll get to therapy and be "fine" and can't recall those feelings to work on, even if they are written down. It is so frustrating. I would love an "on-call" t to be there when it is happening. (Sometimes I e-mail her in the moment, to capture it, but then later I will wonder what I was so upset about).
Hang in there, you aren't alone

THIS!!! I go to my shrink and I'm like.. ooh yeah I felt like this.. but it's all in my head... and she doesn't even get to see the agony that happens while I'm at home and sitting with the feelings... argh.. It's a catch 22 it seems... Ineed to get to that place with her... but for now.. yeah I'll just put it in a box.. wrap it in a cute package and wait till I see T to try to work it out.. Thank you for the support. So glad to see I'm not the only one!

[EeyoreSmile]

Originally Posted by Sannah

But anxiety is different then sadness. Sadness is the one that needs to be felt so that it can pass and life can get better. Anxiety is something that needs to be worked on so that you can get rid of it IMO. I got rid of my anxiety by figuring out where it was coming from and then working on those so that I could get rid of it.

Yeah I totally understand. I am hoping to find a way to alleviate the anxiety.. but we just started down this journey and I know it'll take a while.. But I can't "experience" the anxiety without a safe space.. because it leads to my depression.. and then it's just this nasty spiral where I dont know what to do about anything... and I can't function and I am not willing to go back to that. Bu I totally agree with you...that's something I have to work on because I avoid sadness at all times too!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by EeyoreSmile

Soooo my t is trying to get me to actually feel my feelings.

How about doing this while with T and getting used to it in her office with her by your side, giving support? Then when you are used to it with her, you could try it on your own. Until you have developed the skill with her present, you can use the distraction or avoidance technique to keep the feelings at bay until you are with her again. After a while, hopefully, you will get better at being able to feel stuff when you are not with her. I think this is an excellent use of a therapist! This isn't easy, hang in there.

[KazzaX]

I am going thru the same process and all i can say is "feelings suck!". Haha Do you feel a lot of humiliation when you do this with your T? I sure do. But i think that is because we aren't used to it. Give it time.

Originally Posted by KazzaX

Its hard to do that and function in daily life. Unhealthy people cannot just "put it away to deal with it another time". If we could do that, we wouldn't be in therapy. My T has a very hard time comprehending this. I think that is because she is "normal" and has never had to deal with hardcore feelings before. Feeling feelings is nice and all, but the bottom line is you cannot work, you cannot pay the bills if you are just walking around feeling feelings all the time. And feelings arent much use when you are homeless on the street!

I don't consider myself unhealthy or not normal. I just never learned how to cope with feelings. So I hate them and try to hide them and act like they don't matter. I also never learned how to reign them in, in the event that the Kraken was released . We are all learning. Just because T's know how to cope with feelings and we don't doesnt make them any better then we are. Example: I'm an excellent fisher-woman, but If T had to feed himself via fishing... Well he would starve or seek out someone to teach him... see what I mean.