[peaches100]

Sannah,

I apologize for the way I jumped down your throat yesterday when you said I wasn't as fragile and I thought I was. It triggered alot of old stuff with my FOO where my problems were always minimized and i was expected to carry an emotional load that was far too great for me to handle. When I posted about how awful and desperate I was feeling, I needed someone to acknowledge how hard this is for me. When you said I wasn't as fragile as I thought I was, I felt like you were calling me a liar and implying that my problems were no big deal and that i just needed to buck up. Then, when you told me i never take advice, everything just bounces off me, and that i never make any progress, that too was a trigger for me from my FOO, where no matter how hard I tried, nothing I ever did was good enough.

Anyway, I apologize, Sannah. I know you aren't my FOO and you were only trying to help me feel stronger and able to face things. I hope you'll forgive me.

Peaches

[Sannah]

Thank you very much Peaches. Of course you are forgiven! Actually, I was never upset with you because I knew that you were being triggered. I am also sorry that I upset you.

I don't look at being triggered as a bad thing, though, because I think that it gives us good info. I'm wondering if this feeling like you are being left alone is part of what is keeping you from being able to process your trauma (as I write this I'm thinking that you already know this). From what you have written previously, if I remember correctly, you wrote that you do keep your T at a distance. If you are doing this you are keeping yourself alone with all of it? This is then reinforcing these bad memories for you?