Am I Being Unreasonable?

Dani · Sep 28, 2012, 02:42 PM

So I have been seeing my current T for 4 1/2 years and we have a pretty good connection. I just found out today that my sister has an appt at the same community mental health agency that I go to. I don't know which T she is going to see and I would ask her except we don't have a very good relationship and I am not really on speaking terms with her right now. I'm worried that she may have an appt with my T and of course the agency nor my T would know that she's my sister. I don't know what to do because I don't feel comfortable with my sister seeing my T. I don't mean to sound like a spoiled brat or anything but this is really upsetting me. What should I do?

pbutton · Sep 28, 2012, 02:43 PM

Can you tell your t about this?

and_im_still_here · Sep 28, 2012, 02:46 PM

You can talk to your T about it, but then again maybe you wont share T with your sister

Dani · Sep 28, 2012, 02:49 PM

I would but I don't see her until Tuesday. But no worries, I got it taken care of. I called the agency and told them and was basically told that they make sure that people in the same family don't see the same T. When they set up a new person with a T they ask if there are any family members that go there, so I assume she told them I go there. And she repeated several times that I don't have to worry about it, so I got the impression that they are aware of it, took care of it, and they can't tell me any more about it.

mixedup_emotions · Sep 28, 2012, 02:50 PM

No, you are not unreasonable at all. We form a special relationship with our Ts, and it's perfectly understandable to not want to share your T with your sister.

I remember a former BPD friend of mine asking for my Ts information, because she wanted to make an appt. - and I wouldn't give it to her. I told my T about it, and he said he would refuse to see her. He said that there are plenty of other therapists out there, she doesn't need to see him.

Sep 28, 2012, 02:50 PM

Just speak to your T about this so he has a head's up if she should be assigned to him. I'm sure he'll have her reassigned if that's the case.

Dani · Sep 28, 2012, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by and_im_still_here

You can talk to your T about it, but then again maybe you wont share T with your sister

Yeah I thought about that too. There's a chance she might not have been set up with my T anyway. But I'm glad it worked out because I've mentioned my sister during therapy and revealed some recent things that my T would be able to know that she is my sister.

Sep 28, 2012, 02:57 PM

My sister asked me if I would give her the name and number of my therapist because she really needs to see someone. I did, but then had a panic attack because I really, really, REALLY didn't want my therapist to see her or talk to her. [It's complicated although we get along well now.] I called and talked to my therapist about it, and he reassured me that I have 'dibs' on him, and he would not agree to see my sister. He told me if she called, he would be nice, but let her know that he doesn't see close family members, and give her other names and numbers. I think it's perfectly understandable not to want to share. There are a lot of things about my past that I want the power to decide whether to share or not. I don't want my T hearing about them from my sister.

Sep 28, 2012, 03:31 PM

I don't think you are unreasonable at all, and I'm glad to hear that the agency seems to have the situation in hand. I discussed a slightly similar situation with my T, except in my case I was trying to get T to agree to see one of my closest friends who was also looking for a T - but my T will not under any circumstances do therapy with two people who know each other well, and he explained why, and it made sense. I think many Ts would reason like that, and am sure that if an existing client asks them not to take on a family member, they would have every reason to take that request very seriously. It's about your feeling safe in your T's office.

Sep 28, 2012, 03:41 PM

NOT unreasonable at ALL!!! I'd be the same way. Plus, that's good boundaries. I'm glad they could provide reassurance!

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